Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What Living With a Stoner Must Feel Like

Sometimes living with a preschooler makes me think that this is what living with someone who's high must be like. The randomness, the focusing on really strange things, the fascination with making a sound over and over again. Makes me all crave a brownie.

This morning in the car, I was trying to get to the kids' school as fast as I could to escape Little Man's incessant talking.

I guess Little Man must have run out of things to say at one point, because he randomly yelled out to me "Mama! Look! I'm blinking!"

Well call the freaking media! This is breaking news!

I looked in the rearview mirror, and sure enough, there was Little Man, strapped in his car seat, opening and shutting his eyes with enough force to make his brother's comb over take off.

"That's great honey..."

"Yup, I've got to practice my blinking."

Yeah. And I've got to practice drinking first thing in the morning. Because this led to almost 10 minutes of his talking about blinking and why we blink and do dogs blink what about pigs what about monsters what about snakes why do snakes blink why do snakes have eyes do snakes have tummies will snakes eat me.

I slowed down in front of the school just enough that throwing the kids to the waiting teacher wouldn't cause anyone permanent harm and drove straight to Mexico.

The swine flu's got to be less painful than this phase.

Love,

Catwoman.

8 comments:

Burgh Baby said...

You're taking me with you, right? RIGHT? You better be taking me with you.

Loukia said...

You are so freaking funny. And it's so true, isn't it? The things they do and talk about! Make me laugh all day long... Don't you find that some of the shows on TV for kids are actually made for parents? So they can talk about how funny it would be watch high?

Loukia said...

P.S. Can't wait to meet you!

P.P.S. Will you get on Twitter already?

Rachel (Crazy-Is) said...

Um, can you come back and pick me up????

Just wait until Tiny Man starts talking.

I think my kids have some sort of word quota they have to hit each day and they DO NOT want to miss quota!

Nina Diane said...

my middle one was like that. she talked non-stop. We called her the mouth of the south and please for the love of freakin everything......will ya just stop!! oh, sorry......flashback!

Rachel said...

love it!
May I go, please?

LiteralDan said...

So true, and well put. I've had this same thought many, many times, but never amused myself as much as you amused me here.

In closing, dinosaurs are bigger than elephants but some of them eat plants.

Elliott Broidy said...

This is TOO great.