Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Proof My Three Year-Old is More Advanced Than I Am

So my boss was in town last week. And since I'm me, it meant that having my boss in town sent me into the circus performer version of Catwoman. The circus performance version of me involves me being in especially hyper mode, where I do everything I usually do, except I speak even louder and I do cartwheels and I bow at random times. Also? It usually involves flaming hula-hoops and me jumping through them while spinning plates.

I always drive myself nuts when I go into circus-performer mode, but it's one of those things I just can't seem to stop myself from doing. Because I. Must. Impress. Big. Boss.

As part of my "Look at how fantastic Catwoman is" campaign during the Big Boss' visit, I regaled her with tales of my hard work, teamwork and bikini waxings.

I'm kidding on that last part.

At least I hope I am. I tend to get diarrhea of the mouth when I'm in circus performer mode, so there is the odd chance that I might have over-shared.

One tale I told her, in front of a random co-worker, was of how I took it upon myself to clean the office fridge one day a few weeks back.

"That fridge was disgusting!" I said. "I threw out all sorts of food, including pickles that expired in 2007 and string cheese that expired in 2009."

Random co-worker looks at me and says "So you're the one.

- I'm the one what?

- You're the one who threw people's lunches out.

(pause) - What do you mean?

Big Boss: - You do realize we're in 2009 now, right?

- Wh-what?

- You said you threw out food that was expiring in 2009.

(pause) - Huh. I wonder what the hell was going through my head that day.

- Uhm, you said it again right now, so apparently you still think we're in 2010.

- Huh. (pause) So how about them Mavs?

Love,

Catwoman.

10 comments:

Haphazardkat said...

I think I read about you today in the newspaper!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30720344/

*snort*...2009...

A Spot of T said...

You should have started spinning those plates about then LOL

Burgh Baby said...

Just back away from the fridge. Slowly.

ModernMom said...

LOL
This so sounds like the sort of trouble I tend to get myself in.
Great Blog! Hope yo don't mind 1 more follower from Canada!

Loukia said...

You're hilarious. That was classic. I cannot wait to see you in a few months!

Susan said...

I hope that random coworker gets fired for trying to act all smart about what year it is...

the planet of janet said...

what, you mean it's NOT 2010??

Emma in Canada said...

William's paycheque last week said 2008. The bank caught it and he had to drive back out to get them to correct. Yep, he works for a little tiny company with no direct deposit.

Anyway, point of my story...wat the hell is an adult doing bring cheese strings to work?

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Only you, beloved.

That Chick Over There said...

Oh dear God.