Thursday, January 29, 2009


So I've sucked as a blogger. And the thing is? I'm not sure when it's going to get better.

This having two kids thing? It's totally kicking my ass. Especially with going back to work. I seriously thought I knew what the hell I was doing before I had Tiny Man. And I do, I guess. For the most part.

However, what I failed to realize is that two kids? Twice as time consuming as one kid. I have a newfound respect for all those of you who have more than one kid and manage to blog regularly. I'm thinking you must not ever sleep. This is what my day looks like in a nutshell.

4:30 a.m. -- Woken up by Tiny Man. Change diaper, feed Tiny Man.

5 a.m. -- Pump

5:20- 5:30 a.m. -- Finish pumping. Realize that since I need to wake up in half an hour anyway that there's no point in going back to bed. Take shower instead and spend extra time making hair look like it belongs to a human and catching first few minutes of Today Show when it comes on at 7. Prepare diaper bag with Tiny Man bottles for the day and double check that changes of clothes, etc. are in it, make lunch for Sweetie Pie and I and 50,000 other things that need to be brought to daycare or work.

7:05 a.m. -- Wake up Little Man. Put him on the potty, brush his teeth, get him dressed, threaten him with never being allowed to date on the days where he's grumpy and doesn't get a move on.

7:15 a.m. -- Make breakfast for myself and Little Man. Inhale breakfast.

7:20 a.m. -- Feed Tiny Man again.

7:30 a.m. -- Pump. Again.

7:45 a.m. -- Threaten Little Man that if he doesn't put on his coat right now, I'm taking his penis away.

7:50 a.m. -- Load up kids in car. Forget car keys, return inside house in a panic to figure where the hell keys were thrown the night before.

7:55 a.m. -- Leave the house.

8 a.m. -- Realize that I forgot my lunch and/or my giant water jug on the kitchen counter. Figure that it's better that I starve and die of dehydration than have forgotten one of the kids.

8:30 a.m. -- Drop off kids at daycare. Curse myself for being freaking late again for work.

8:40 a.m. -- Leave daycare. Figure it's pretty much impossible for me to get to work by 8:30, no matter how hard I might try.

8:50 a.m. -- Get to work.

9 a.m. -- Go get coffee. Since, you know, I'm such a dedicated on-time employee.

9:10 a.m. -- Work my ass off.

10:30 a.m. -- Run down to lacation room to pump.

11 a.m. -- Return to desk. Continue to work my ass off.

12 a.m. -- Break for lunch. Wonder what the hell I'll eat when I've left my sandwich on my kitchen counter.

1 p.m. -- Return to work. Work my ass off.

3:30 p.m. -- Pump. Again.

4 p.m. -- Work my ass off.

4:50 p.m. -- Decide I've had enough. Pack up, retrieve milk from fridge so that it doesn't accidentally get used by someone in their coffee the next day.

5:10 p.m. -- Pick up kids from daycare. Threaten Little Man numeous times with letting the mascots of every baseball and football team eat him when he refuses to leave because he just got on one of the computers in the library and is engrossed in the Dora educational video game.

5:20 p.m. -- Drag out a pouty Little Man and a pissed off Tiny Man who I had to wake up to load him in his car seat out of the daycare. Wished I'd stayed at work or gone somewhere to get drunk.

5:50 p.m. -- Arrive home. Unload everyone and everything. Begin to make dinner.

6:30 p.m. -- Eat dinner.

7 p.m. -- Pump while Sweetie Pie empties dishwasher

7:30 p.m. -- Play Wii with Little Man

8 p.m. -- Pour baths for both kids. Tiny Man gets last feeding from Sweetie Pie while I take care of Little Man.

9 p.m. -- Both kids finally asleep. Collapse on couch. Watch a show. Realize when commercials come on that I've got to get stuff ready for the next day.

9:30 p.m. -- Pump for the last time of the day.

10 p.m. -- Get ready for bed. Watch news and then pass out cold at 10:30.

So yeah. I suck at blogging. Because in that schedule? Not much room for blog writing or reading. Plus my brain hurts so bad from being so tired.

Will things go back to normal? I'm not sure. So if I'm not on here as much, if I don't comment on your blogs, I'm sorry. I promise that I read all of them during the weekend, I'm just so behind that I don't have time to comment. But I love you all and I miss you.




Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I think you're slacking. I saw about 7 different 1 minute windows you SOOOOO could be coming over to Wiener World and telling me how much you love me and adore my blog. need to try harder!!

Hallie :)

random_mommy said...

I don't know how you do it! The pumping is really amazing of you, that's a lot of your day and that is some serious dedication... you're my hero!!

I didn't work, but I can say that as soon as the baby goes from eating every couple hours to every 4-6 hours... life becomes bearable again.

Haphazardkat said...

LOL @ Hallie :D

girl--please make sure you take some time for yourself! Like running back in and getting the sandwich and water bottle...cuz seriously--how much later would that have made you at work? :)

*dusts my momma hands off*

I'll continue to keep comin here when you update. No worries!

Loukia said...

Good Lord... that made me soooo tired because it's basically exactly what it's like with 2 kids... mind you I had a year off with baby number 2, but it is so hard to juggle the 2 kids... and tiring! (And wonderful and rewarding, too... ;)

Burgh Baby said...

Dude, that's a lot of pumping. Good for you. Seriously.

Now, I think you deserve a laptop. That way you can multitask while pumping. Just imagine how many words you can peck out with your nose, or whatever body part happens to be available. ;-)

RedDaisy said...

So I'm not the only one stuggling with being a new mom of two. How crazy is it in the morning. I go to work so I can relax. My monkey is now 7 months and you chronicled my morning almost exactly...sans the pumping and I lasted until 5.5 months before that was done, I have to get credit for that half of a month. I don't have words of wisdom because some mornings are still a struggle but the smiles, giggles and bonding I see between the boys are so worth it all. Perhaps we can dream of a normal morning by the time they are 18. Here's hopin...

You are not ALONE!!

A Spot of T said...

Since I started blogging it's the one thing that amazes me the moms are able to blog?? I was a stay-at-home mom but I ran all the time with three kids. No way would I have had time to blog. And some of them even send out a quick email after I comment!!!! I know how much time blogging takes so I guess that's why I'm so amazed.

But you! Sounds like you have a great schedule and your dedication to those little men in your life is....well...amazing.

Joy's word for the day is obviously...amazing :o)

David said...

lol.....hmmm...sounds familiar....except, well....easier..


Enjoy the time with your little men...

Trannyhead said...

You just have to keep telling yourself that it WILL get easier. It will, damnit! Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

Dude. Seriously? As hard as it is, you NEED to find some time for yourself. Holy crap, I'm exhausted just reading what your day consists of.

Blog when you can. I'm not going anywhere :)

a Chris said...

Wow, look at all that pumping!

You're going the extra 1.6km to make sure your Tiny Man gets the best of the best for a while longer. You're not getting your ass kicked. You're an overachiever!

BTW this post has been very educational for me; I'm still on leave but will be following a similar path when I go back (though I only have one kid so far). It's the first time I see it laid out how one can schedule an entire diet's worth of pumping. Sheesh. Overachieving with your "I can't blog" post too.

A's Mom said...

From the words of Darius Rucker's new song, "It won't be like this for long."

This song gets me every time.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I just love you regardless. And, when are we doing a Tuesday/Thursday dinner nite again?

Rachel said...

I know it's hard to believe, but it will get easier. You will still have days where you forget your lunch or your kid's lunch or a whole host of other things, but they will become less and less.


monsters' momma said...

*hug* You still rock, though I miss you and your blogging. We miss you more though so we need to schedule an occasional playdate and more than occasional MNO!

Julie said...

you just described my life pretty much - minus the pumping thing. i'm actually thinking about deleting my blog - it's getting ZERO attention.

Anonymous said...

Oy... *slap slap*

I think I just nodded off reading about how busy you are.

But really I know kinda sorta exactly what you mean. Except I don't have a "real" job and I never pumped. Okay, only once. And then never again.

Clearly my blog goes in bits & starts... No problem. I'm still here... providing you're still reading mine every two weeks. Duh.