So yeah, I've been missing.
I suck, don't I?
But as I write this, my parents and sister are less than 30 hours away from landing.
And can I get a holy crap, I'm so screwed. Because I thought they were arriving Saturday. And I really, really needed that extra day.
Do you have any idea how much there is left to do around here? Peeps, please send paper bag muy pronto. Because seriously hyper-ventilating here. On a positive note? I'm now two pounds away from my starting weight for my pregnancy with Tiny Man. Can I get a you rock, breastfeeding?
Let's ignore the fact that it still means I'm 30 pounds overweight. One mountain at a time, people. By my calculations, if I breastfeed for the next 8 years, I should be back to my ideal weight then. How many times a day will a third-grade teacher allow you to show up with a sippy cup of breastmilk for your child? And would even the La Leche hemp-wearing weirdos be freaked out then? Surely, even they must want to be thin?
So here's what I've done this week:
- Had hardwoods installed in dining room.
- Had carpets steam cleaned.
- Cleaned out fridge (why is it that this is one job that you can't hire someone for? Seriously, I would have paid a thousand dollars to not have to discover what I discovered in the way, way back of our fridge. I think I might have thrown some crime scene evidence, or something, because whatever that thing was in that tupperware, it was awful funky and seriously decomposed.)
- Spent money I don't have.
- Taken care of three sick men, including one who's just now 8 weeks old, all while having a head cold that felt like the Incredible Hulk was using my head as a stress relief toy. (Note: the fantastic breastfeeding that has caused me to be only overweight compared to my previous really overweight meant that I was only allowed to take Tylenol for relief. Oh Nyquil, how I miss thou)
- Labeled the fridge in a belated fit of nesting. No, seriously, I did. I need to post pictures of this.
See? I ain't lying. Who the freak does this???
All the people who know me in real life are right now thinking that the head cold must have fried my brain, because that? Is so unlike me. I blame stupid Oprah and her stupid decluttering episode. Damn you Oprah! Why does this paragraph feel like I've said something really blasphemous? (Oprah, I take it back. I think you are the Queen of the World. Please don't have me killed).
So I will go back to doing the 50,000 things left to do on my list, including wrapping 1,500 Christmas gifts, gah!!!!
On a positive note? Tiny Many slept from 10:15 until 4:15 this morning. And only woke up screaming because Sweetie Pie had a coughing fit that scared the shit out of him. Note to self: Have Sweetie Pie killed for preventing Tiny Man from potentially sleeping through the night for the first time.
I will be drafting another post right now with Little Manisms that will post tomorrow. That is my Christmas gift to you. I will try to post at some point next week, but with 11 people total in the house, I'm thinking I'll be too busy getting drunk to survive.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
So yeah, I've been missing.