Monday, December 08, 2008

And My Ego Was Never to Be Found Again

Things have been a little rough around here lately. Maybe I live in my own little world, but I thought that considering I had a baby 7 weeks ago, I was looking pretty good.

Thanksgiving weekend, we had a birthday party to go to for a one-year old. Someone there hadn't seen me in a few years, she's the sister of our friend whose son was having the party (you still with me?). Sweetie Pie was upstairs, trying to get Tiny Man to take a nap in a strange crib, which Tiny Man was all WTF, this is a party and there might be booze and maybe even some dope, I ain't going to sleep, so it was taking a long time.

Our friend's sister came up to me and said "Congratulations! I heard the news!" And I thanked her, as new mothers are forced to do. She then proceeded to ask me when I was due.

Cue sound of pin dropping.

There was also the sound of my ego shattering, which was a little like the sound I imagine 100 lambs would make as they are being kicked by a really mean person.

Me being who I am, I was busy trying to figure out how to respond without making this person feel bad.

So I just said, "actually, he's upstairs." Meaning the baby, of course.

But this person assumes I mean Sweetie Pie, and says "oh, no, I'm not wondering where Sweetie Pie is, I asked you when the baby was due."

This leaves me with no choice than to go to Death Con. And go to embarrassing mode, where I tell her "Uhm, Sweetie Pie is upstairs trying to put the baby to sleep. The baby was born last month. (pause) And here I thought I was looking pretty good."

Cue to two days later, where Little Man tells me that he and his Daddy are going to ride on a tractor, but that I can't come, because I'm too big and I won't fit on the tractor. So I'm just going to stay home and watch Tiny Man.

Uhm, seriously?

Because things like this come in three, you knew there had to be one more. On Friday, I was buying myself some new boots, some black, buttery leather Nine AWest gorgeousness and I was happy and ignoring the fact that I was spending money I wasn't supposed to, when the cashier begins to compliment me on my two boys. She then proceeds to say "they are such different coloring! They obviously don't have the same Daddy."

Seriously? That's your first guess?

I guess I should feel happy that she thinks that even though my ass is huge, I can still get me any man I want.

Love,

Catwoman.

26 comments:

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Holy crap, don't pay attention to those freaks. Oh, not your son, I mean, he's not a freak! Anyway,

don't worry. You're only 7 weeks post-partum! The old saying is "9 months up, 9 months down." You've still got like 33 weeks to get that belly back into shape.

Or, do like I do, immediately have another baby and then you can just say, "I'm pregnant again!"

Oh, by the way, the fallout of THAT plan is to have stretchmarks over 50% of your body and have hangy skin on your belly, legs, and butt. And, you may get back to your normal weight but you will never be the same size. It has all shifted, but you have no idea how or to where.

*sniffle*

Burgh Baby said...

Pshaw. You know people are stupid and that you shouldn't listen to them. (There is a very excellent and obvious insult that I could make about retail workers right now, but I won't, considering I used to work retail. Ahem.)

David said...

You know...I agree...people are stupid, so you can't put too much stock in what people say. I >>DO<< work in retail and I do not say stupid things to people. I make comments about myself or my own life to give customers and opportunity to chime in about their own life if they desire. If not, fine.

I'm sure you look amazing and your boys are adorable. THAT is all you need to keep in mind.

Susan said...

Well, crap. You handle it much better than I do/would. I'd have told sister-throwing-the-party that we weren't exactly sure of the due date. Then in days, weeks or months she would learn of her stupid faux pas and suffer even more for it.

Seven weeks post partum? Cut yourself some slack! And some cake...

Eternal Sunshine said...

Well, the first comment was bad enough, but I suppose I could handle it, BUT that last comment? That would have garnered a conversation with her supervisor.

What makes people think they acn say anything that pops in their head?

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Considering I saw you Thursday night, and flat out told you the boys are starting to both look SO MUCH LIKE SWEETIE PIE, why would you listen to the bitch who obviously did not want a commission?

the planet of janet said...

*snort*

as if....

don't listen to idiots, hon. just don't.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I should say something supportive but I can't stop laughing!!

:)

Hallie

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Bless your heart... People are so stupid. When will they learn? How many stories are out there like this, you think people would start getting the hint.

It happened to me just a few days after the twins were born, a lady at the mall asked me when I was due. I had 2 hospital bracelets (NICU) on, in plain view on my wrists, arms resting on the counter.... Stupid, stupid people. AND she had a small child with her...

Sharon said...

Who says that to a person?!?! Man alive... people have no tact anymore! Even if you are thinking something like that.. why would you say it OUT LOUD to that person? Just goes to show you how dumb people can be!! At least you have your "trio" of stupid comments over with!

Kat said...

Seriously? I think I would have punched that cashier. What an idiot. I think she deserved a good fat lip for that one. WTH???

Kids think everyone is big. Little man probably just meant that two adults wouldn't fit with him. That's all. Everyone is big to them. At least that is what I always tell myself when my boys call me "Big Mama". :(

K said...

Having worked in retail, and not having children, but being forced to wear hideous tent like uniform i was asked once how long i had left, and i actually went along with it, it was that embarrassing, but now i think of it i would have said 'hey lady go look at your self in the mirror you look more pregnant than me' so the reason for this comment, dont sweat the small stuff and tell them to p off ;) xx

Morgan said...

Atleast you were nice to those women, I would've been a lot snarkier. :)

Ms. Porter said...

oh my gosh, i'm here catching up (i'm so behind...i'm sorry!) and i can't help but snort at that woman who thought your babies had different daddies???!!!! btw i'm sure you look great.

Kila at momto3cubs said...

Aww, don't feel bad. When I went to the store to buy some pants a few weeks after my youngest was born, I thought I was looking pretty slim, but the store clerk asked when the baby was due.

And about the two boys not looking like brothers, I heard many of those same remarks when my middle son was a newborn, because he looked so much darker than my oldest son. I remember my FIL saying about the middle son, "He sure doesn't look like his brother, does he?" (These days they look very similar!)

(((HUGS)))

Kellie said...

Oh for the love of sweet shoes....do NOT listen to her! You had a BABY SEVEN weeks ago! I'm willing to bet you look better NOW than that chick does NOT pregnant. Tell her to lump it.

Soooo....did you get clearance yet for exercise? I got Wii Fit last night and am DYING to get started.

:)

random_mommy said...

Your fantastic boobs negate any leftover baby weight. You are gorgeous inside and out!

Blue Momma said...

I was buying diapers for a friend once many, many years ago and the cashier told me how cute I looked pregnant.

Hell, I didn't even have a cat, much less a baby or one on the way. I can't remember what I said to her, but I'll never forget what she said.

People are clueless.

Trannyhead said...

Oh, honey. You're far nicer than I am. I would have been all, "WTF - I'm just fat, ok?" after the first biotch opened her mouth.

You're hawt, damnit. And if you really feel that bad? Drink until you're hawter!

Stefanie said...

Seriously, I am so lucky that Sadie looks like she could be a four or five month old because that way I can get away with still looking out of shape. I almost don't want people to know the twins are one cause then...what's my excuse. Yours is that your baby is SEVEN WEEKS. I was still a HOUSE at 7 weeks. BTW, my friend was once told "wow, anytime now, huh?" when she was actually pregnant but had only missed her period by a few days at that point. Now THAT's embarrassing.

CPA Mom said...

Dude. I'm 4 YEARS postpartum and have been asked that. I say "I'm not pregnant. I'm fat. Thanks for pointing out what I obviously missed."

Cause I'm a bitch.

OMG - the sales clerk - what the f is wrong with her?????

justmylife said...

OK, when your oldest is 9 years old and some, ahem, nice old lady asks when you are due, then you can be upset. After 7 weeks, I was grateful that people didn't point out I looked like death warmed over. After a few years and you still get comments, come talk to me. heh!

Julie said...

Holy hell...some people are just idiots.

What did the woman at the party say after you told her you already had Tiny Man?

I'm sure Little Man didn't mean you were to big to ride the tractor - in his mind he probably meant between him and Sweetie Pie on it there was no room for a 3rd person - I mean don't tractors only have one seat?

And the store clerk - clearly quality person. I'm sure her boss would love to hear how she is insulting customers. Really, who says that????

Nina Diane said...

naw...screw them people! where the heck are you? are you ok???

alperenl said...

thnks

isimsiz said...

thnks