Tuesday, October 28, 2008

One Week

A week ago, my doctor slit me open like a fish, pushed on my ginormous stomach, and out popped this amazing tiny human being.

Yet, I've only felt like a mother of two since Friday afternoon, when I left the cocoon of my hospital and came home to reality.

The weekend was rough, I won't lie. Tiny Man, who was brought to me only twice a night for feedings by the nursery nurses, suddenly decided that he. must. eat. all. night. long.

I couldn't put the kid down. Seriously, the second I did, he'd rouse, root and want to feed again. I suddenly became a human Las Vegas buffet. Except I didn't even charge $2.99 for all-you-can-eat shrimp cocktail. I fell asleep nursing more than once, and by Sunday afternoon, I was already so exhausted that during a diaper change, I put the dirty diaper back on Tiny Man, complete with dirty wipes in it, and didn't notice that suddenly Tiny Man had some serious bootyliciousness going on, until I noticed the new diaper still sitting on the changing table.

Yesterday, Tiny Man had a pediatrician's visit to get weighed, as he'd dropped more than 10 ounces during his first three days, bringing him right around the acceptable 10 percent limit that they like to see weight drop. For the record? I would have killed to lose 10 percent of my body weight in three days, but alas, my doctor ignored my pleas for a tummy tuck while she was stitching me up.

But this is about Tiny Man. Ends up that my non-stop feeder? Only gained an ounce in three days. So we're back at the pediatrician on Friday.

It's funny, I always thought that I'd be less stressed with baby number two, and about a number of things, I am. But when it comes to health stuff? I'm even more neurotic than with Little Man, because when your first baby is perfectly healthy, you almost think you're more likely to have something wrong with the second one. So when I noticed a lump on the bottom of Tiny Man's rib cage, I was convinced that the weight loss was a sign that he had something seriously wrong, the 'c'-word even entered my mind and I sobbed for a while.

Apparently? All newborns have that lump and apparently I was just too euphoric/sick with Little Man to notice his.

After the pediatrician's appointment, Tiny Man and I went back to the hospital for a follow-up visit with the lactation consultant. And that's where I came to find out that my master latcher? Is actually a pretty inefficient eater. And so when he's nursing for an hour? He's actually only taking in maybe an ounce of milk total, which means he's expanding as many calories as he's taking in, and by nighttime, he's starving.

So Tiny Man is now in breastfeeding bootcamp, I get to manhandle my boobs in ways that should mean that when I reach the six-week mark all husbands count down to, nipple clamps will no longer seem terrifying to me, because seriously, they've got to hurt less than the way I'm beating the shit out of my boobies.

Tiny Man is now cut off at the 40-minute mark and gets a bottle of pumped breast milk with some formula after every nursing session. We spent all of yesterday doing this and last night, Tiny Man went down at 10 p.m. At 2 a.m., I woke up because I had to pee and nearly peed myself right there and then, realizing that I'd gotten a full four-hours of sleep.

One good feeding later, Tiny Man was back down, and had to be woken up at 7:30 a.m. so that I could change him, feed him and get him in the car to take his big brother to school.

I woke up one freaking time. Do you know how momentous this is? Do you know how much of a skip in my step I have today? Do you know how if it wasn't for the fact that I'm not allowed to exercise and the fact that I don't know how to do a backflip, I would totally be doing backflips right now.

Don't get me wrong, my hormones aren't completely normal, like there was an incident yesterday afternoon, where I sobbed next to my sleeping newborn for an hour, because I couldn't figure out how to put the new shields that my lactation consultant had sold me on my breast pump. And I knew the whole time that I was being psycho, but I still continued to sob into my pillow, like the time I was 14 and Sebastian, who I was madly in love with, told me I looked like a monkey.

But today is a new day, my breast pump works, Tiny Man should have put on a decent amount of weight by Friday and when I weighed myself at the pediatrician's office, I'd already lost 13 pounds. Considering that I was 30 pounds overweight when I got pregnant, this means that I'm now 40 pounds away from where I want to be. One pound at a time, baby.

All is good. Because look what I get to stare at all day.




ccr in MA said...

In that picture? He's totally giving you a fist-pump. "You rock, Mama!"

Ohhh, he's so cute.

Karen - Mommy to four sweeties said...

What a little sweetie!
Congrats again.

Julie said...

Glad you are doing so well now!

Susan said...

Oh Catwoman! I'm so happy for you. I would do a backflip in your place but Arkansas isn't particularly prepared for earthquakes. He's gorgeous, I'm thrilled that you're doing so well and Sebastian can eat shit.

Katie said...

ahh, all the tears I shed over breastfeeding the first week of my son's life til we both figured out how to do it correctly. And now I've forgotten everything and will have to start from scratch in early March 2009 when my second son is born. I just wish breastfeeding was a bit more intuitive and instruction-free like it should be.

But I'm so glad things are working out now and you're getting some sleep! Tiny man is absolutely precious!

Nina Diane said...

I'll come over and hold that little guy so you can have 8 hours of sleep!! what a doll baby.....

Sandi said...

Oh my god, I may never be able to read you again! One week and you're already sleeping most of the night???? We're at 11 weeks and still practically walk around in a coma most of the day! UGH, I AM SO JEALOUS!

justmylife said...

My baby is 9 YEARS old and I don't sleep 4 hours at a time! Of course it is the husband's snoring that wakes me up. I am jealous!

He is so cute, I bet he smells good too. Once you put a clean diaper on him anyway. heh!! Glad you are doing well.

the planet of janet said...

oh baby baby. what a cutie.

glad you guys are figuring out your way together.

makes it easier to enjoy those precious moments.

Kat said...

I think I don't really know what I'm doing with any of my babies because they have all been SO DIFFERENT. It is all such a learning process.

What a beautiful little angel you've got there. :)

Eternal Sunshine said...

I remember those early days. Sleep deprivation can do terrible things to a mind. Hang in there, and now you have two beautiful boys to look at when the going gets rough!!

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Call me when you are awake tomorrow. I wish you a night like last night again, hon. I remember the early days. It's not something you ever quite forget

Poltzie said...

five and a half hours and he's only a week old! This is the perfect baby!!

Emma in Canada said...

What are the chances you'd be willing to talk to my daughter about what asses 14 year old boys are? She doesn't seem to believe me.

Sophie had a little lump at the back of her neck and even though my friend, an ICNnurse, told me it was perfectly normal I made her go over Sophie's entire body to make sure there were no other little bumps that may freak me out in the middle of the night.

David said...

"slit me open like a fish"

We so need to hang out.

Congrats on the sleep. The twins are starting to sleep for longer stretches...now...if we can get them to do it at the SAME time, that would be great.....lol... ;-)

Rachel said...

Glad you guys are figuring out the whole breastfeeding thing! I hope it continues to get better and better!

And, oh, he is sooooo precious!

beach mama said...

The Baby is 5 weeks and I still have the crying occationally - ME not just him. Don't get used to the long sleeping...sorry, my Baby did it for a couple nights and then day shifted to sleep time. It's a vicious cycle.
Please email me and tell me how your lactation consultant knew he was an inefficiant nurser. Mine is barely latching (ie. sucking on nipples and it isn't pretty). But it sounds like he is gulping. He had the tongue tie for the first 3 weeks (WORSE THAN THE NIPPLE SUCKING! OUCH!!!) and since that is fixed we are still working on latching.
Congrats on a beautiful baby!! I love the dark fuzzy hair. The hair is starting to fall out of my babies head and he's looking like an old man now.

Emily said...

He is so cute! Congrats. I really don't know how mom's do all they do with such little sleep! I get upset if I don't get a solid eight hours sleep. And when I wake-up, I only have to feed my cats and I am off to work. Much kudos to all the mommies out there...you rock!