Thursday, August 07, 2008

Signs Your Toddler May Be Sleep Deprived

Last night, Little Man began screaming for me around 2:30 in the morning, which is not an ultra unusual event around here, as ever so often he will wake up to pee and since he won't get out of bed without permission (another one of his self-imposed rule, but one that I feel I can't complain about when BurghBaby reads this blog), he'll usually wail "MOOOOMMMYYYYYY! I HAVE TO GO PEEEEE PEEEEEE!" Which nothing gets a pregnant woman out of bed faster, running up the stairs than a toddler who's only been potty trained three months screaming those words. What's that you say? My husband? Why doesn't he do it?

You're not serious, are you? I challenge you tonight to get up at 2 in the morning, go to the other side of your home, say in a very childish voice at the top of your lungs "I NEED TO GO PEEEEEE PEEEEE!" and then wait to see how long it takes your better half to get there. Bonus points for you if he ever wakes up during your screaming. Extra bonus points if he shows up in under 10 minutes.

Last night, however, was different. This wasn't a normal wail about needing the bathroom, this was my name (well, my Mommy name), screamed over and over in the kind of anguish that makes your blood turn cold. I ran up the stairs, rushed into his room and found Little Man still sleeping on his tummy with his knees pulled in, thrashing and calling for me.

As soon as I began shushing him and touched his back to let him know I was there, he jumped up, latched onto me like a spider monkey with arms and legs aroung my torso and just trembled in my arms, his heart pounding so hard against me, that his baby brother began to kick back.

I held him for a long time, soothing him, part of me curious to get into his brain to find out what dream an almost three year-old can have that would be so traumatic, but most of me too afraid to ask and make him relive the terror. Eventually, he was calmed down enough, we both went to use the restroom and I decided to let him sleep with us for the rest of the night, because I know that as a child, there was nothing scarier than having a bad dream and then just being left in my room alone afterwards.

This morning, we were all exhausted from the incident, Satan's Dog shuffled around wishing he was human and was allowed coffee, and Little Man refused to get up. I finally coaxed him out of bed and this is where meltdown after meltdown began. I first made the mistake of giving him Fruity Cheerios, something he's had for breakfast for weeks now. Apparently? This was not an acceptable breakfast today, and I should have cleared it with him first.

So I offered him a fun yogurt. What's so fun about this yogurt, you ask? Nothing. It's just what I call 'toddler marketing.' It's the same technique I used last night when he wanted to eat ice cream before dinner and I sold him on raspberries instead by calling "The yummiest raspberries! In a bowl!" See? You probably want raspberries too, now don't you?

By the time I'd brought the yogurt to Little Man, he was entranced in Little Einsteins and was eating his cereal like he hadn't gotten upset 30 seconds before. And deep breath... No point in letting blood pressure rise when I'm six months pregnant.

While I was getting ready in the other room, I begin to hear wailing, like Little Man is seriously hurt. I rush into the living room, thinking the whole time that the dogs, who are usually the perpetrators of crippling toddler injuries, which include but are not limited to a light tap on the toddler's arm because of a wagging tail, are outside sniffing blades of grass, and couldn't be the cause of this screaming.

I find Little Man in a heap on the floor, the weight of the world on his shoulders too much for his little skinny legs to bear. I pick him up and hold him and ask him what happened. He is sobbing so hard that I can't understand anything, until I finally calm him down enough to find out that the television set? It had the gall to show a preview for a show he can't stand after the episode of Little Einsteins ended.

All I could say was "Are you freaking serious right now?"

Not my proudest parenting moment, but seriously. There is not enough alcohol in the world to deal with this, especially when even if there was enough alcohol, I'm not allowed to drink it for 2.5 more months.

Love,

Catwoman.

21 comments:

random_mommy said...

EEEK! That's how Buddha acts right before he gets sick... wash your hands a lot just in case!!

I'm still giggling about the beaver story.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

How dare the TV show a preview that Little Man DID NOT WANT TO SEE!!

Seriosuly, you should call the TV police and report this heinous crime!!

Hallie

Jessica said...

It must be something in the air lately...my 4yo had a meltdown the other day because ONE bite in his bowl of oatmeal was cold. And then another because he forgot he wanted to drink juice at lunchtime.

jasie said...

my little boy is 3 1/2 and he gets so mad at the tv when they show stuff that he doesn't want to see.

oh... and he's also afraid of the 5 and the 9 on the clock. i have NO idea why.

AndreAnna said...

My toddler talks in her sleep all the time. The other night, she kept saying "bye bye fingers." Um, wtf?

The day before yesterday, she hit me because I told her that her dress was lavender when she said purple and again b/c I stepped on her doll in her playroom.

Toddlers are like little mean old men.

Morgan said...

Methinks it's in the air. My kids are having meltdown after meltdown, too.

Julie said...

ACk, the screaming at night would have scared the bejezus out of me!

Burgh Baby said...

Could Little Man PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE come to Pittsburgh and teach Alexis the rules about staying in your bed? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE? Please? Pretty please? PLEEEEEEASE? The damn kid has figured out how to sneak into our bed now so I'm just plain screwed. SCREWED.

Ahem.

Last night she who is sleep-deprived because she won't freakin' quit wandering the halls in the middle of the night had a throw yourself to the ground tantrum because the Bulldog looked at her. LOOKED at her. She screamed, "Meg wook at me!" when I wanted to know what her major-malfunction was.

I quit. Expect a Toddler via UPS sometime tomorrow.

Emma in Canada said...

Actually, I would like some reaspberries at the moment. Thankfully, there are some in the fridge so I shan't have to steal Little Man's.

Saoirse was prone to night terrors for quite a while, so much so that we brought it up with the pediatrician. It was totally our fault- too much watching the sci fi channel with her dad or Law and Order or Cold Case with me. And there I was thinking she wasn't paying attention to the TV.

Kellie said...

A) I want raspberries now. As I read that part, I could TASTE the tartness. Thanks.

B) Any chance you can fit potty training Morgan in before you have Tiny Man? Please? I'll send a truckload of Doritos.

C) I'm guessing the preview for the show he can't stand is the same show my child can't stand as his reaction? Similar to Morgan's.

D) Alcohol. Yum. Would you like me to consume extra at the wedding I'm attending this weekend just for you? You know I will.

:)

the planet of janet said...

the wise woman of the west says the following:

change is in the air for little man. he knows it and responds in the only way he knows how.

abject hysteria.

other than the ulcer and the gray hairs it causes, this too shall pass.

Ashley said...

Holy hell, were you at my house last night? My almost 3 year old did the same thing, because dinosaurs and spiders were biting her. I had to sleep on the floor with her as there were "supposed" spiders in her bed. Then this morning? Wow. I was pretty eager to drop her off at the baby-sitter.

Bren said...

Oy, we've had days(and nights) like that. Sounds like he needs a little extra TLC!

Um, can Little Man please teach my little guy that rule since he thinks coming to my bed 3 or 4 times a night is acceptable? He will be paid for his services.

Stacy said...

Oh how I feel your pain!

My 17-month-old threw his first 45-minute "trying to bite, hit, kick, and scratch mommy's eyes out" tantrum today, and after it was all over I called my mother crying because for the first time in his life, I really really really did not like my child.

Like, seriously. He's in the living room playing with blocks, and I would ordinarily be playing with him but instead I'm doing this because I really just don't want to hang out with him right now. Does that make me immature? Or human?

Kathryn said...

HAHAHA!!! I mean... ahem... I'm not laughing. It just all sounds SO FAMILIAR!
My Tommy was the same way today but after every meltdown he would tell me, "I'm just so tired, mumma!" Awww. Poor little farts. ;)

Sunshine said...

Ah, toddler tyranny. Gotta love it.

One does have to wonder about the thought processes of a child's mind.

He will outgrow it, eventually.

And tomorrow, he'll do or say something cute or funny, and you'll hardly remember the meltdown.

Until the next time... ;-)

Marmarbug said...

I think you just described my morning. Daily.
Three sucks. Just warning you.

Susan said...

Poor baby! Usually about the time I lose it and make some smartass or mean comment to one of my kids, they start running a fever or puke in my lap. I have the same reaction to the tv that Little Man did when I see a SoyJoy commercial or the woman who won't get in the pool because she's irregular. WTF is that about? Is she prone to going poo in the pool? Focus, Susan, focus. I hope everyone gets some sleep tonight. Hang in, Little Man.

CPA Mom said...

You have GOT to read Sleep is for the Weak - toddler insanity in there just like this.

My husband always gets up with the kids first. Because I'm profoundly deaf and he won't let me leave the monitor on loud enough to hear the kiddos so he has to get up with them.

Rachel said...

It is clear to me that LM and Alyssa could not be friends because they would constantly compete for who could meltdown most often and longest.

Colleen said...

I really shouldn't laugh but I can.not.help.it! He was mad that the network showed a preview of an upcoming show??? I'm sorry...(cuz I'm sure you can still hear me laughing)...and want to high-five you for using the same sort of response I have found myself saying in the past year or so when frivilous meltdowns have occured: "are you freakin' kidding' me???"
Maybe he knew you were having visitors?

Also, I am insanely jealous that he wakes up to pee in the middle of the night (and hollers for you...though I did the same to my mom because I was terrified of the boogey-man grabbing my ankles if I got out of bed in the dark). Gavin sleeps like the dead and doesn't wake up to pee, when I move him, when he's fallen on the floor from his 3ft high bed...