Friday, August 22, 2008

It's My World, People Just Live In It

I've always been someone who lives by the rules. Having been raised in a tyrannical household, where the tiniest hint of thinking of maybe breaking a rule would get you spanked and/or grounded, depending on your age, I've always been a rule follower. I'm not claiming to be perfect by any means, and there have been exceptions to my rule following, like that time in 12th grade where I skipped 135 law classes (yet I still made a B+, so there!), but the exceptions are few and far between.

I'm the person who would never think of cheating on my taxes, because the anxiety I would feel for the rest of my life at the thought of getting caught would totally not be worth the little bit of money I'd have saved. I'm the person who sits at a red light at 3 in the morning, even when there's no one comig the other way. There are rules. I follow them.

But lately, I've found that I still follow rules, I just don't do other things. Like tell people things. I make decisions, and then fail to tell people who are also impacted by these decisions.

Like take yesterday, for example. I've decided to start using a cleaning lady every other week. We can afford it, really, it just means paying off my car not as quickly, and since I begin to spot every time I try to clean the house from top to bottom, my body obviously feels that I should leave the cleaning to someone else. Some of you might ask "aren't you married?" And I'll laugh and laugh at you because really? Have you met my husband? It's not that he's not willing to clean, he is. It's just that he's completely incompetent at it. I mean really, I love the man, I do, I've put up with him for 9.5 years now, and he has many, many talents. But cleaning? Isn't one of them. If I left the cleaning up to him, I'd probably find him dusting the fan with the toilet brush. I'm serious. I once caught him "cleaning" the kitchen, and he was using the dustbuster that I use to pick up cat litter to clean crumbs off my counter. And when I flipped out and told him how disgusting that was, he didn't understand what my issue was.

His jobs include rinsing and putting away the dishes in the dishwasher. Which means that I have to come after him and reorganize the entire dishwasher, because if you ask my husband to put in an empty dishwasher a teaspoon and a mug, he will somehow manage to place them so that the entire dishwasher is full and unable to hold anymore dishes. I swear to you, I have never seen someone fill up a dishwasher so badly before. The man has two years of an engineering degree. How is this freaking possible?

But back to the topic at hand. So that the house wouldn't fall apart, I decided that I would get someone to clean the house for us.

And she was coming for the first time yesterday morning. I told my boss that I would be working from home in the morning, which he couldn't care less, he's of the belief that I'm an adult, I do more work than most people in this company combined, no problem there.

As the cleaning lady is working her ass off (which made me feel really uncomfortable by the way, this is the same reason I have trouble paying someone to give me a pedicure, who am I to make someone else do my dirty work???), time ticks away. Apparently, we live like pigs, because it took her from 8 a.m. until almost 1 p.m. to get our whole house done top to bottom.

My original thought was that she'd be done by 11, I'd get Little Man to school in time for lunch and then head to work. But since nap time starts at school between 12 and 12:30, 1 p.m. put me in a conundrum. If I drove Little Man to school now, his nap would be all sorts of f'ed up. So I made the decision to put him down at home and work from there the rest of the day.

And promptly forgot to tell anyone at work.

The funny part? No one noticed. Since I was online and responding to emails and am usually in meetings a good part of the day, no one noticed that I hadn't been in my cubicle all day. Maybe I'll just take off next week and go shopping and see how long it takes for anyone to worry I've gone into labor...

And then in the afternoon? It got to be the time where Sweetie Pie and I usually check in with each other. And that's when I realized that I? Hadn't told him that 1) I was hiring a cleaning lady 2)That the cleaning lady would be coming yesterday and 3)I'd be working from home.

So I called Sweetie Pie from the home phone and he's all concerned when he sees the number. And I proceed to lamely tell him "oh yeah... I think I forgot to tell you... We have a cleaning lady now!"

He took it surprisingly well. Well, I don't know about surprisingly. At this point in our relationship, he's kind of used to me not telling him things like bringing strangers into our home.




Morgan said...

Oh, well, you are pregnant, you deserve to forget some minor details, right? :)

Burgh Baby said...

I just told my husband ten minutes ago that I'm going out for dinner with friends tonight. The best part is that he's under the impression that I told him weeks ago, but he either wasn't listening or forgot. BOOYAH!

Ms. Porter said...

You sound like my husband, he forgets to tell me all sorts of things.
I keep thinking that getting a cleaning lady would make life a whole lot easier...wonder if I could swing that.

Emma in Canada said...

I forget to tell Himself all sorts of things. Like Burghbaby, I tell him I told him agea ago and he obviously forgot. And then I get mad and say "See, you never listen to me."

Maria said...

My husband can't clean either, and I forget to tell him things all of the time, but I forget less than he does, so he can't complain. ;)

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

Don't start me on men and dishwashers. OH only needs the teaspoon to make it look full.

the planet of janet said...

fortunately for me, wonderhubby's memory is so bad, he also believes i must have told him something weeks earlier ... even if i didn't.

and as for decision-making, i make em becuz he doesn't. nature abhors a vaccuum and if he won't make one, i am happy to decide for EVERYONE!!!!!

beach mama said...

I want a cleaning lady!!

Hubby can clean very well..too well. It would take him 3 days to do top to bottom, seriously at least one would be the floors. It's not that our house is so dirty, it's that he cleans sooooooooooooo slow and meticulous. I think he gets the nesting instinct, not me.

Except the dishwasher. Why can't men fill the dishwasher at all??

Rosie : ) said...

My man takes care of the floors. Literally. He cleans and mops the floors sparkling clean. Oh, and he takes out the garbage. Anything else requires arm twisting.

No real complaints though, I am at home with the kids during the day, he is working, so I do alot of the work around the houes, it makes sense.:)

Good for you to get a cleaning lady! It'll take some of the anxiety away, give your body its needed resting time for the birth and labour, so why not?

Haphazardkat said...

OK first? I'm on the the trick men play on us when asked to clean the house.
They do something so gross that we spazz out. Check
They do something half assed so we have to redo it. Check
They put handle precious items as if it were a greased football. Check.
They know that by doing these things? We'll spazz out and stop them from ever ever EVER attempting to clean or put things away again.
Mmm comes my point...
Ever see a man work on his car??
Not a scratch on anything--and it shines like it came off the showroom floor.
They know how to clean. they just dont want to ;)

Haphazardkat said...

good lord. I can't type...

Bren said...

I forget to tell my hubby things I buy all the time. ;)

I need to go back to work so I can afford a cleaning lady. Good for you!

CPA Mom said...

Dude, my husband is THE WORST at loading a dishwasher. He even tells me, "I'm done loading it, would you like to come in and reload it so I can run it?"

I so envy you your cleaning lady.

Rachel said...

I don't usually have a problem remembering to tell my husband things, but he seems to have a problem listening to those things.

WA said...

If my husband saw a strange woman walking around cleaning things in our house, he'd probably just think it was me with a new haircut.

Marmarbug said...

I am LMAO at the fact that your hubby didn't know. But I am glad that you have a cleaning lady now!!!

Colleen said...

I swear men purposely do stuff wrong just to get out of doing it. Though mine is too lazy to rob a bank to pay for a cleaning lady. Bum.

~Denise~ said...

Your hubby sounds just like mine. He doesn't get it. Enjoy your cleaning lady!