Friday, July 11, 2008

Toddler Miscommunications

I discovered this bakery across the street from us has Happy Hour from 3-6 p.m., where every day a new treat is buy one, get one half off. To a pregnant woman, this is the equivalent of free mojitos served in David Beckham's tighty whities.

After much debate, I decided that I must have yesterday's special, which happened to be a cookie.

And when I say cookie, I use that term extremely loosely and incorrectly, because this "cookie" was like biting into an angel covered in puppies. It was the world's softest shortbread, the kind of shortbread that makes your tastebuds weep with joy at the realization that they are finally alive. And it was covered with black and white fondant, turning it into a piece of art that most starving artists would wish they could claim as their own.

I bought two cookies and I was very excited to surprise Little Man with his. I picked him up and when he was taking his sweet time, showing me every single item on the shelves of the classroom. I finally blurted out that I had a surprise for him in the car, which of course, helped to speed the leaving process considerably.

I gave him his cookie and he properly thanked me and then gobbled it up most of the way home.

A few minutes from home, Little Man sat there contentedly, black fondant dotting his cheeks and chin. Suddenly, he said "I'm ready for my surprise now.

- Uhm, well, baby, uhm, the cookie was your surprise.

(silence)

- The cookie? That's not a surprise. That's a snack."

Well, I'll never make that mistake again.

Later that evening, I suddenly decided that I would teach Little Man how to tell knock knock jokes. Because what is more annoying for people without children than a toddler who knows one crappy joke and tells it over and over again? And I figured it was long overdue for my kid to be that kid.

CW: "Knock knock!

LM: ???????

CW: You're supposed to say 'who's there?'

LM: Uhm, Little Man's there.

CW: No, no, you're supposed to say 'who's there' after I say knock knock.

LM: Oh, okay. Daddy's there.

CW: Oh, screw it. It wasn't that funny of a joke anyway."

Love,

Catwoman.

14 comments:

Julie said...

yummy sounds like a black and white cookie - i love those.

Morgan said...

ROTFL! :) That's a snack....teeheehee.....

:)

Kathryn said...

HAHAHA!!!!! You are too freaking funny! I love how quickly you give up on the knock knock joke. That is so me! :)

Marmarbug said...

BRUHAHAHAHA! Hey there is NO fooling LM! He wants his SURPRISE! Duh....
Sounds like my kid. Geesh. Kids these days. No appreciation!!

Susan said...

An angel covered in puppies! That's the best! PLEASE do not teach Little Man knock knock jokes. It will come back to bite you in the ass, I promise.

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Come on mother. You know a cookie is a snack. To you or I it is a pure sinful delight. To him, it's just a morsel. What did you give him for his surprise?

squishytushy said...

Yeah... Emma does knock-knock jokes...

Hers always ends with:

Who's There?
Orange Strawberry Banana Chocolate and Raspberries!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Uh-huh.

susan said...

That's a snack! awesome.

Haphazardkat said...

are you freakin crazy? teachin your kid knock knock jokes?? haven't you learned the lesson of, " Ohhhh I can't WAIT til my baby starts talking...and the horror of the endless drip of talk that comes from that wish???!!"
ARGH!
*tugs my hair*
...
*takes a xanax* -find a happy place--find a happy place--

Sandi said...

Send ME some cookies! MMMMMM

Last night before bed, David and I sat all cozy and warm and ate Now & Laters until I thought I'd be sick. I REALLY wanted donuts, but cookies would certainly do!

Sugar rush, anyone?

David said...

I felt a little sick after all that candy....

I'm a Mom!..? said...

So funny! We had a very similar experience with the Knock Knock joke.

Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Knock Knock?
Who's there?

And so on....

Colleen said...

I always had to bribe Gavin to leave daycare, for like a YEAR! However if my hubs picked him up, the kid was running out the door. Kinda glad to see I'm not the only one. :)

Poodlehead said...

too freaking funny girl! I love the angel covered in puppies line. I LOL on that!