Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Confession: I am an addict

For the past few weeks, I have become slowly obsessed.

This isn't anything new for me. I'm one of those addictive personalities, who if I'd hung out with the wrong people would probably have turned into Amy Winehouse. Once I try something and I like it, it become all-consuming and I must have it until I OD and my family ends up calling that A&E Intervention show and tries to get me to quit the Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer cold turkey, because I've started swigging it directly from the bottle and foregoing that annoying necessity known as coffee.

My latest obsession has seen Sweetie Pie be brought down with me. I think originally, he was just humoring me and figured it was just a phase.

But now, I'm sad to say that I think he is just as hooked as me. And the few times I forget about getting my fix, he's the one who gets all of the necessary tools necessary for us to be taken to our happy place together.

This does not make me a bad mother, for the record. I didn't use to understand mothers with addictions, because how could you let something become all-consuming at the expense of your child?

But in our defense, Little Man is in a different room when we get our fix, and although I haven't discussed it with my doctor, surely it can't harm Tiny Man too much, I mean, he's almost half baked at this point.

I'm embarrassed to admit what I have an addiction to, even though I know that it's probably the most important step in the recovery process.

I guess, what I'm saying is that I don't know if I want to recover. Because I'm happy, and in a better place.

And really, isn't that all that matters.

My name is Catwoman. And I am completely and utterly addicted to The Bachelorette.

And Sweetie Pie, who is totally not ready to admit this, is addicted as well.

We haven't missed an episode of this season yet. We watch it, and pause it regularly and make fun of the goofy guys on it, and I swoon for my favorites (go Jason!).

I'm not sure how I got so addicted, because I'm actually not that crazy about The Bachelorette herself and her excessive blinking that leads me to think that she's trying to send us morse code like "OMG! He's a total dork!" Or "I totally want to nail that hot piece of a$$ Graham."

Sweetie Pie and I discuss and analyze The Bachelorettes dates the way Sports Center can discuss one basketball play for hours on end.

And whenever Little Man pops his head in, we bribe him with M&M's and let him watch The Backyardigans pirate camp episode again, just so the child won't speak over crucial scenes of the show. I mean, it's not his fault, he's only 2 1/2, he couldn't possibly understand the subtleties of this Earth-shattering program.

Should I talk to my doctor about this problem?




Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Your husbadn needs to turn in his man card and testicles. NOW. RIGHT NOW.

You watching it is bad enough but he shouldnt be allowed to retain custody of the family jewels.


Marmarbug said...

ACK! The Bachelorette. I can usually get Bud addicted to a show too. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I think you need therapy. But if you need therapy then so do I. Crap.

Jordan said...

I go through phases of being the biggest, nerdiest, most compulsive TV addict ever. And my shows are really hella embarrassing too (and did I mention nerdy?) You haven't been sufficiently awkward in this department until you have an anxiety dream about your best friends "out"-ing your Star Trek: Voyager obsession at a middle-school short story contest. Can you tell what kind of kid I was then?

And ohh boy, I completely understand not even wanting to get better- when it brings you that much joy, why stop?

the planet of janet said...

oh, honey. i'm soo sorry.

on the other hand, i'm not sure there is a 12-step program for this...

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I think by now nothing you say would surprise her, toots. You? Obsessive?? NAHHH. :)

Kathryn said...

Um. Is that wrong? Cuz, yeah, I'm loving this season of The Bachlorette too. I LOVE Jason. He is the best by far! And what is up with crazy karate man? Scary!
My hubby usually retreats to the basement when the show comes on but the last episode he actually watched with me. It is too entertaining to deny! Love it!

justmylife said...

I don't think there is a recovery program for it. Hope you can get help for it.heh!

That Chick Over There said...

OH DEAR GOD. I have just recently discovered the joys of "The Bachelor" and I am hooked. HOOKED I SAY.

Damn you Vh1!

Morgan Leigh said...

Ugh. I don't have TV anymore, I got tired of it.

Not sure if you should go to a doctor- but maybe your hubby should??


Anonymous said...

This is one show that hasn't reeled me in hook, line and sinker :)

CPA Mom said...

I've never seen it, but I understand. HP and I are the same way about The Biggest Loser. We are in total withdrawal.

And if that is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Blue Momma said...

I've never watched even one episode of the Bachelor or B-ette. Now, Real World, Road Rules, Big Brother, Top Chef, America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, ......

Need I go on?

I'll join you at the rehab when you locate one!!!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Dude. I was all worried about you, but then I got distracted. That ad on your site. The Texas Oncology one.

This Mother's Day, "You're the best. Get the tests." Send with Love.

Are they serious with that shizznet? I'm going to be laughing at that for hours!

Emma in Canada said...

I haven't watched this season, I stopped watching when they had that really ugly Bachelor. Was it Brad? Maybe the one before. of the guys is from around here and he is one of the stations on Tuesday mornings giving his opinion of the night before. I think he thinks the chick is crazy.

Stefanie said...

This is a tough habit to break. Every season I say I won't watch and then I watch every episode. I don't care for Deanna much myself with her drama and her "Y'all are breakin' mah hahrt." But I can't miss an episode. At least she got rid of Twilly. Next she needs to get rid of tanning guy. That one is a real piece of work.

I'm a Mom!..? said...

I don't like her very much -- I agree about the blinking... If she doesn't pick Jason, she's an idiot!!!

Bren said...

Completely addicted with you! I write for a TVGuide site and know who the final rose goes to? Wanna know?