Monday, June 16, 2008

Because I'm the Best Wife Ever

So none of you had as good of a Father's Day as Sweetie Pie did, you hear me? None of you. Except for maybe all of you men who either got laid or got a bj, because I was too tired after all the cleaning I had to do yesterday, since my in-laws were coming for dinner. Plus Next Food Network Star was on, and it's rude to get it on while I'm trying to decide who is least cut out to be on television.

Other than those millions of men, Sweetie Pie had the best Father's Day ever. You know why? Because first of all, he didn't get one school project like I did for Mother's Day. Oh no, Sweetie Pie, he got two. I guess Montessori schools feel that being a sperm donor is much more important of a role than cradling another human being in my tender womb for nine months, leading me to sacrifice any chance I had to have a career in adult films (fine, it was never a goal of mine, but that's not the point, the point is it's nice to have options, people). But I'm not bitter. It's not like I display my child's art work on every square inch of my cubicle walls, including some that I suspect might just be left over napkins from toddler lunches of pizza.

But most of all, Sweetie Pie was the luckiest man yesterday, because I gave him an LCD HDTV. Which is an acronym that makes every man swoon the way the words Paul Walker and naked make any woman with a pulse swoon.

Yeah, I got Sweetie Pie his dream TV. Which we already had one in the living room. A big one. Not the biggest, because he's married and therefore not allowed to have what he wants, but one that was as wide as our TV armoire.

And since I'm such a good wife, I got him something that I thought was frivelous and unnecessary. Another high-definition television for our bedroom.

Totally unnecessary. And yet, I knew it was going to make him happy.

And it did. And then he spent the next three hours hooking it up and playing with all the features and not getting fresh with me so that I had plenty of time to play on Facebook clean the house.

And to top it all off, when Sweetie Pie got up, I had practiced with Little Man to wish him a happy father's day. As soon as Little Man saw his Daddy, he yelled "Happy Mother's Day!"

Who says I don't always win?

Love,

Catwoman.

20 comments:

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I don't know, Mr. Husband was pretty stoked about his Dyson. No, really, he was. I guess I would have had to buy him two Dysons to keep up with you, though, you overachiever. Makin' the rest of us look bad is what you're doing.

Haphazardkat said...

Happy Mothers Day!!!!! Priceless! ha ha ha ha ha ha :))

Jordan said...

Damn. That's some good wifin'. I would imagine that's that's one frivolous and unexpected purchase you've made that he didn't feel like getting angry about!

Colleen said...

wow! Lucky guy! glad my hubby doesn't read you or else he'd go nuts that all he got were some polos, sunglasses, and some lovin'.

AndreAnna said...

Wow, that is a great gift!

Charlotte got Mike a new survival knife - ya know, for when those zombies finally come. :)

David said...

What's your high score on Bubble Words? Jetman? Parking Wars? Text Twirl? lol...

Sounds like a great gift for Dad...err..or...Mom...whichever.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Goor lord....all I gave Mr. Hallisicle was a 2 year subscription to his favortie magazine. Oh, and lots and lots of lovin'! (wink wink)

And he's not even my daddy!

Hallie

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Your present makes mine look like poop. But, hey! You got to play me on Facebook, so it's all good.

Love LM's Mother's Day.

Obviously, tomorrow night's off...

Kellie said...

And here I was thinking I was a good wife for sending Jimmy off to play THIRTY-SIX holes of golf. This translated to him being gone for 11 hours.

You put us all to shame :)

the planet of janet said...

you rock ... and then, lm totally proved that you WIN!!!

i gave my husband a massage -- not one that i have to give but a real one. nothing like getting someone else to do your dirty work ;-)

Rachel said...

Gah, way to make the rest of us look like shitty wives! I'm glad that Chris doesn't read blogs or he'd realize that he's not as lucky as he thinks he is!

He didn't even get laid or a bj either.

Kathryn said...

Yep. I'm pretty sure my hubby would be willing to swap gifts if your hubby REALLY wants. :)

Morgan said...

Happy Mother's day? Hahahaha. That is great! :)

beach mama said...

OK, I would want the awesome tv more than Hubby. He hardly watches tv. I know, weird human.
All mine got were some well needed clothes and some cute stuff the Kid made at school and McDs breakfast.
But no lovin of any kind over here either. So you are making us look bad!! ;)

Susan@stopcallingmethat said...

Presents? We're supposed to give freakin' presents?

squishytushy said...

So you know, I'm sitting here, alone, grinning like an idiot at my computer screen at your last line...

BTW, I bought J a card. Forgot to give it to him on Father's Day (probably cuz he was away with the kids), and when he came home on Monday... since it was no longer Father's Day, I put it in a drawer with plans on giving it to him next year.

Fine. You win. With me & with Little Man.

Marmarbug said...

Dang! I should have done the tv. Instead I got done.
LOL!!!!

I figured it was free and only like 5 minutes of my time.

Julie said...

Crap, I'm glad my husband doesn't read your blog!

Lynsey said...

Will you marry me? Seriously, I like men and all but a big screen?? I'll try to play for the same team for that! Ha ha!

That Chick Over There said...

Word!