Friday, May 09, 2008

Proving Once Again That He Is a Man

This morning at Little Man's school, they had a little breakfast event called Muffins With Mom. I was excited about this, because score! Free food!

Little Man was dragging his little ass this morning, and I kept trying to light a fire under him, except the matches were a little wet. I kept yelling at him "There are free muffins at your school! And other people are going to EAT THEM! And WE should be the ones eating them!"

To which he replied "I want a muffin, get me a muffin."

And I argued with him that these fantastic muffins I was yelling about, they're at school, but of course, have you ever tried to argue with a two year old? It's a little like trying to get rid of a headache by slamming a door repeatedly on your head: it doesn't work and you're pretty sure you have brain damage afterwards.

We finally made it to school, and miraculously, there were some muffins left. We walked into the gym and one of Little Man's teachers handed him a carnation to give to me, which Little Man shot her a look like "what the hell is wrong with you? My Mama's standing right there, why don't you just give her the freaking flower yourself you lazy ho?"

Little Man then proceeded to eat two mini blueberry muffins and half of my banana nut muffin. Which people in my world have been known to be killed for less, so I think that's proof that I do love my kid more than anything else. Even banana nut muffins.

Once we were done, I walked Little Man to his classroom, because it was also teacher appreciation day and since I'd spent 60 bucks on Target gift cards, I wanted to make sure Little Man actually gave them to his teachers instead of trading them for toddler crack cocaine, which is actually pixie sticks.

Little Man told me he wanted to hold my flower for me, and I, naively, let him. As we made the walk down the hall, he proceeded to swing my flower wildly around, so that within three seconds, it looked like it had been attacked by wild coyotes. I finally got him to destroy my flower, and what was left of the flower made it to the classroom. We walked through the door, Little Man saw his teacher and said to her "here you go, it's a present!" and proceeded to hand her my flower. Which was given to me. Only 10 minutes before.

I know men are all about regifting things, but seriously? This totally takes regifting to a whole new level.

Love,

Catwoman.

19 comments:

Marmarbug said...

I am LMAO over here. He is startin young huh? Oh and I agree about arguing with a toddler. Might as well jump off the roof.

CPA Mom said...

You should be SO proud. Re-gifting already.

That beats my Tigger using his inflatable pirate sword to beat to death my rose bush.

Julie said...

Man, looks like he got his regifting skills from Nick Cannon. I heard the engagement ring he gave Mirah was a reject from a previous proposal he made to another girl.

Rachel said...

Shit, he could have at least waited until you had left!

Nina Diane said...

that little man is sure gaining some quick thinking skills early.......

AndreAnna said...

He's figuring things out early!!
Smart kid. :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I used to love Muffins with Mom and John got Donuts with Dad. Now I'm lucky if Connor remembers to eat breakfast let alone sit with me while he does!!

Hallie :)

justmylife said...

He is a man. But I think he thought a little quicker than most men. So points to him.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Heh. We had muffins for mom, too. It went differently, though, because Alexis was very confused as to why I wasn't opening the door, projectile launching her back to her classroom, and running for dear life like I usually do. Seriously, she had no idea why I would try to sit down and eat with her. So I took my muffin and ran.

the planet of janet said...

quick thinking!

Morgan Leigh said...

::giggle::

you should be soooo proud. :)

Joy T. said...

I don't know though. There's just something about a mangled re-gifted dead flower from a cute little two year old that makes one's heart go pitter patter.

Karen said...

I'm thinking that I have the lamest preschool in the nation. We didn't have Muffins for Mom. Or flowers. I was to send a picture of myself that they did nothing with. (I'm only hoping that this is not to identify me as the mom who frequently forgets to send diapers.)

Yeh, we need a new preschool. I'll be screening for muffins next time around.

squishytushy said...

Brilliant! He's BRILLIANT! Cuz, uh, clearly he knew you didn't really want the flower (it was a carnation, after all), so why NOT give it to someone who may be more appreciative??

Gerbil said...

Arguing with a toddler is kind of like holding water in a sieve.

Stephanie said...

At least now we know that this gene is specific to the male species right?

Happy Mother's Day!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Just think about what he will do once he starts dating!!!

Cassie W said...

Tell me since he gave his teacher your flower (or what was left of it) you kept the gift cards for yourself! Its like a gift swap. She got yours, you get hers. Score!

Blue Momma said...

Hey, lay off Little Man for his skillz!

Don't hate the playa, hate the game!