Thursday, May 29, 2008

Dem Kids Don't Know Notting About Notting

Last night, I'm driving home with Little Man when Kid Rock's 'Bawitdaba' comes on the radio. This is the kind of music my early 20's were made of. I have a very vivid memory of sitting in one of my closest friend's tiny one-room apartment, drinking cheap alcohol while we played this song three times.

So I blast it. Because Little Man must learn what real music is. And I decide that I'm going to teach him how to headbang. Because this is the next skill a child should be taught after potty training. There is a very strict order to childhood milestones as outlined in every baby training manual, and I don't intend to be the first mother to break them. The are latching (uhm, failed that one, moving on), sleeping through the night (ok, that one took longer than the next milestone), rolling over, crawling, walking, talking, screeching for no reason, throwing oneself on floor because popsicle melted in Texas heat, potty training, headbanging.

See? That's the order. I had to do it.

And so as I'm driving down the road, going approximately 55 miles per hour, I'm multitasking by showing Little Man how to headbang to the only decent Kid Rock song ever made.

This is the part where I wish I really was a true multitasker, because if I were, I would have been able to drive, headbang and take a picture of the look on Little Man's face.

Because at first, he glanced over at me with boredom. That look quickly changed to one of mild interest, then confusion, then concern and then he broke into hysterical laughter.

The kid freaking laughed at me so hard, I'm surprised he didn't have an accident or split his spleen open.

I gave up. This is one milestone he is obviously not brilliant enough to ever accomplish.

His loss when his friends drag him 15 years from now to a Metallica reunion concert.

Love,

Catwoman.

18 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Will Metallica even be alive in 15 years?

Hallie :)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Oh, send him over. Alexis will teach him. He just needs to teach her about the potty in exchange.

Mr. Husband listens to incredibly awful heavy music and has somehow managed to get the Toddler interested in it. Last night he was watching some stupid DVD upstairs when we walked in to ask him a question. Alexis yelled, "OPETH!" (the name of the band) and started head-banging. I, for one, am not amused by this. We're supposed to be teaching her to like NKOTB so I can take her to the concert.

Marmarbug said...

LMAO! Yeah I taught Bean how to head bang. I have to be careful cause I think he may give himself an anuerism (sp?) or something. Props to you for teaching him the important things in life.

fantasticvoyage said...

dont forget the ever popular ass-shaking buhdunkadunk booty shaking dance moves...my girl can shake it like no other 2 year old white chick can shake it...

next step...headbanging. totally.

Slick said...

He'll pick up headbangin' when he starts smoking and hanging out with the wild dudes in high school.

At least that's when I picked it up.

So, don't worry ;)

LOL

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I am so making you demonstrate this next week in front of Blue. We have to critique your moves.

Julie said...

Make sure to teach him the macarena while you're at it - that thing can't seem to go away.

Kellie said...

Forget the picture of Little Man's face. I want video of YOU head banging :)

Rachel said...

If his friends drag him to a Metallica concert then they are not his friends.

Tamsyn said...

You'll regret that one when he starts giving shoutouts to his homies in Cell Block 6. I'm just sayin'.

the planet of janet said...

*snort* i'm so out of it, my kids had to teach ME to headbang....

Cassie W said...

Please tell me when you were teaching him to headbang, you had one of your hands shaped into the "devil horns." Can't forget that very important technique in headbanging. Don't give up on the Little Man, he and all of his toddler friends will be in your living room "mosh-pitting" to Nirvana's best hits CD in no time!!!

justmylife said...

Didn't you know that no matter how young your child is they think that parents can't dance? My own daughter is really embarrassed when I atempt to do anything that may resemble dancing. Though I would liked to have seen you head banging!

Chickie said...

I'm with the kid. Kid Rock? Eww!

Sandy said...

OK, thanks to your commenters, I now have a picture of your poor little guy trying to headband to the macarena.

So wrong!

Karen said...

What you need to do is secretly headbang when he can catch you so that he can mimick it at his own free will.

Joy T. said...

LOL and no doubt Metallica will still be around 15 years from now! I headbang and my kids tell me to stop. I don't of course. But they try.

A's Mom said...

That was such a beautiful picture that you just painted. I'm sure he'll come around to headbanging long enough. Try some surfer dude beach music (if that even makes sense). My Little Man loves the music from "Surf's Up" movie.