Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Why My Doctor Finds Me Entertaining

I had my second of 300 doctor's appointment this morning and the new baby is kicking some serious act on the growing thing. If there were Olympics for growth and development of a fetus, I would say that my fetus would sweeps all the gold medals and leave the other fetuses sobbing in little amniotic puddles.

In the last two weeks, my fetus has managed to sprout arms and legs and it actually has a distinct head now.

I ended up being at the doctor's for close to two hours for reasons I'm not too sure of other than my doctor was running late, because that's all she told me.

Of course I find this mildly annoying, but at the same time, this woman will be cutting me in half in a few months and I'm hoping she'll love me so much that she'll throw in a free tummy tuck and I'll look better coming out of the hospital than I did coming in.

As we were wrapping up she congratulated me on my constant cheerfulness and even keel personality.

I told her that she'd caught me on a good day and then proceeded to tell her how I'd used the words "bitch slap" with my mormon boss the previous week.

She giggled really hard and I told her that it would take quite a bit for me to resort to using the words bitch slap with the woman who will be delivering my next child.

I then proceeded to tell her that my boobs are so swollen, that I have a heat rash in between them.

Then I clarified that I did forego sharing my boob story with my male boss.

I'm thinking the extra free Enfamil cans are all mine at this point.




Anonymous said...


You crack me up. Bitch slap? In front of your boss? wow. :)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Hmm . . . I wonder if all that Infamil in our cabinet that we didn't pay for and didn't use is expired yet? It just might be time to get rid of that crap.

jempress said...

love you!! :) can i say again how happy i am that we get to both have babies in 2008?

Anonymous said...

Reason #320,329 why I love you: using "bitch slap" in front of your Mormon boss; sharing with all the world that your rack is so swollen you're sporting a heat rash.


Joy T. said...

Heat rash between the boobies is not good. Ouch. And I just noticed the little fetus's at the top of your blog...very cool! It's been ages since I've seen those and always loved following along with my pregnancies.

Becca said...

"used the words "bitch slap" with my mormon boss the previous week."

OHHH to be a fly on the wall for that one...

random_mommy said...

I'm so jealous. I have always wanted a mormon friend(a boss would do) just so I could tell them,
"Don't get your magical underwear in a knot!"

Maybe that's why they don't want to be friends with me.

Sandi said...

I really hope we don't have the same doctor, but if we do, you can have the free Enfamil, and I'll take the free diaper samples, okay?

Blue Momma said...

You really should have bitch slapped that hussy from the other day!!! How dare she mess with my Catwoman?

Obviously she isn't aware of your fabulousness and your doctor is!

AndreAnna said...

You're too funny.

I'd be so screwed with a mormon boss. LOL.

Ms. Porter said...

do tell us the bitchslap/your boss story!!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Ohhhhh, heat rash BETWEEN the girls? You poor thing!!

Thanks for your comment about CJ. It means so much to me that people like you, whom I adore, care about my Shmoops.

And get that prego ass of yours to the store and buy a Wii.



I think your rapidly growing fetus wants one.

Anonymous said...

You didn't share the bitch slap part, silly billy! That's priceless. And, our OB is a riot. I'm sure you will keep her in stitches.

Sandy said...

aff- no, no, no. It's her job to keep y'all in stitches!

I wanna hear the bitch-slap story!

Kathryn said...

Yeah for big growing baby!! That is great news!
Sounds like you have a fun doctor. :)

Rachel said...

You didn't tell me about the "bitch-slap part of the story!! I really think you should elaborate!