Friday, February 15, 2008

Men Selling Half-Dead Flowers on the Side of the Road Are Out of Work for Another 364 Days

So Valentine's Day is over.

Which in my world is a big so what, because in my world, every day is Valentine's Day.

Sorry I stepped away there for a second, I had to spit out the vomit in my mouth.

Here's my Valentine's Day summary:

Number of Valentine's Day Cookies eaten by Little Man in a 3-minute period: 2

Number of meltdowns when he was refused the third cookie: 1 (very large one)

Number of choking hazard hard candies removed from Little Man's Walmart pail with the scrapbooking stickers on it: 3

Number of Valentine's Day dinners bought from the grocery store's take out section: 1

Number of bottles of wine bought to accompany meal from grocery store: 1

Bottles of wine drank with dinner: 1

Gins and tonic drank after wine was all gone: 2 (very large ones)

Number of underwear drunkenly thrown on the floor right before obligatory Valentine's Day marital relations: 1

Number of underwears thrown up by Satan's Dog a mere three hours later: 1

Number of hangovers this morning: 1

Number of Caramel-stuffed Hershey's kisses about to be eaten to try to beat hangover before going to playdate with tons of toddlers this morning: Too many to count with a hangover.




Jesse said...

I don't envy you having to go to a playdate w/a hangover. And btw how many pairs of undies has Satan's Dog eaten.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

You had SO much more fun in the past 24 hours than I did. Our stupid dogs didn't even have the courtesy to eat any underwear.

Morgan Leigh said...

You have obligatory Valentine's Marital relations? Wow. I'm glad I didn't sign that agreement with my husband. LOL. :)

Anonymous said...

You DID NOT MENTION ME? I'm crushed. And, will take it out on you when I see you in a mere 59 minutes. And, I learned in a post yesterday puking a little in your mouth is called PIMMALed. Satan's Dog? Why does he do that? UGH. So, the moral is to NOT do the marital relations thing. Want some TMI? During our obligatory nookie I told put his fingernail cut me (down there) and we stopped...mid nookie. He so did, too

Sandy said...

Wow, a hangover and a slightly ticked-off AFF? Chili omelets are the cure, my dear. Trust me on this.

Daphne said...

there goes more underwear


Julie said...

Sounds like a good valentine's day was had by all. I especially enjoyed the "Fun Dip" pack Emily's teacher gave her and the blow pop another kid gave her. Someone I don't think giving a 2 year old a packet of pure sugar and a lollipop with gum in it is all that appropriate.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Maybe you should just start going "commando" at all times. That way there wouldn't be any underwear to eat!!


Beccy said...

I think you need to go save Satan's Dog from puking of course!

Rachel said...

Aside from the toddler tantrums, sounds like my kinda night!

Minus the underwear, I didn't have any on to throw!

CPA Mom said...

Obligatory Valentine's Marital relations? Please don't tell my husband about those.

only one hangover? He didn't have one?

My daughter had a chocolate lollipop for breakfast two days in a row now. My son had oreos for breakfast today. I? am mom of the year.

Anonymous said...

You mean you're SUPPOSE to put out on Heart Day? Huh. Whoops. My bad.

Bring AFF a "hope your girly bits heal quickly" card. Ouch!

Emma in Canada said...

OH my God I am so laughing at AFF! That is freaking hilarious. And who knew it was such a common occurence?

At least you had sex on Valentine's day. Apparently it can only happen on the weekends here.

Slick said...

Well, maybe the dog has good taste?

Anyway, chocolate cures hangovers??

Bren said...

That damn dog of yours is going to choke on your underwear one of these days!

Takeout from the grocery store? Who knew? I'll look into that next time because it beats the hell out of cooking.

My hubby did score big points for bringing home Strawberries Romanoff from La Madeleine and writing me a poem(which is posted on my blog, btw).

Joy T. said...

You can eat caramel stuffed hershey kisses...or anything for that matter....with a hangover?? Dang girl! I am bowing down to you oh queen of the hangovers. Because me? I'd eat a kiss, go puke it up, eat a kiss, go puke it up. I'm sure your dog can relate to what I'm talking about here.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Glad you had such a good heart day.
We don't drink, but we've both had that nasty cold/flu stuff, so yeah, it was a pretty boring night.

Obligatory? Nah...she digs me.


Nina Diane said...

sounds like a damn good valentines day!

Haphazardkat said...

carmel filled kisses...mmmm...

You need to send your dog to Ripleys Believe it or Not. He can have his own exhibit as the "underwear carnivor from hell"

Anonymous said...

We spoke about marital relations... but then both feel asleep before it could happen.