Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Lessons Learned

I realized that I have learned a lot during the past 29 months. Here are some of the lessons I have learned, all thanks to motherhood:

- That my singing sucks. However, if I am ordered to sing to a song that comes on the radio, I better sing along, even if I've never heard the song before and don't know any of the words.

- That as hormonal as I might get during PMS time, I can be happy knowing that I have never considered the dog looking in my direction a reason to get mad to the point of throwing myself on the ground and wailing.

- That I'm so smart, I can now usually solve Blue's Clues at the first clue. Like this morning? We were trying to figure out with Steve what Blue wanted to do in the snow, and as soon as I saw the paw print on the carrot, which was the first clue, I totally knew that Blue wanted to make a snowman.

- That I'm evil because I laugh really, really hard when Swiper the Fox actually swipes something from Dora and Boots and throws it far away. The only thing that woul make me happier, is if Swiper were to take the stolen item and break it over his foxy knee and then set the pieces on fire. This makes me worry that I don't have a soul.

- That Hannah Montana songs? Are actually really, really catchy, especially my current favorite "Start All Over."

- That the best way to not feel fat is to spend all of your disposable income on toddler clothes, so that I never have to enter a dressing room.




rookiemom said...

Oh, how I look forward too the kiddie tv shows phase.

Although, I really like Bear In The Big Blue House. Something about the fluffiness perhaps? Or the purple otters?

If I had 2 otters, I would TOTALLY name them Pip and Pop.

I want an otter.

Today is Randomness Day in rookiemom world, in case you hadn't noticed.

Ms. Porter said...

Better yet, wouldn't it be good if swiper the fox and the grumpy old troll who lives under the bridge finally took on dora and boots and silenced them forever....we did it, we did it horray!!

Blue Momma said...

The best way for you not to feel fat would be to come visit me! That, dear Catwoman, would put everything in perspective for you.

I'm a Swiper fan, too. If he could just team up with the BoBo brothers from Go, Diego, Go, I'm sure Dora would be history.

Morgan Leigh said...

Wow! You people and your hatred for Dora.

We don't watch Dora in our house, I refuse, because when she asks questions at the television and stares at me, waiting for an answer? I am worried if I give the wrong answer she will come through the screen and kill me. Or something.


:) Have a nice day!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I wish Swiper would, just once, tell Dora to f*ck off when she goes into her "please can we have it back" speech. No respectable thief would ever give something back so easily.

Last night Alexis thought me giving her water from the fridge instead of the faucet warranted an all out breakdown. The threw herself to the floor, pounded her fists, and wailed for ten minutes. How do you not laugh at the logic behind that angry fit?

Anonymous said...

Don't get me wrong but wouldn't be a lot more interesting if that fox on Dora dressed up like a Grandma and bared it's teeth a little more??! ;)

Anonymous said...

HAH to Swiper. Mine has started saying "You're too late. You'll never get it back now." Thank you Swiper. Dora deserves a little comeuppance.

And, I saw that same Blue & knew it at carrot, as well.

You know how I feel about spending all your disposable income on toddler stuff. Please Congress!! Vote for that tax relief pkg. I can sure stimulate the economy with an extra 1500 bucks!!

Jesse said...

I would love to see swiper break something-just thinking about it makes me laugh. That show should do that one day.

Anonymous said...

Dora scares me. My kid doesn't watch the show. But, she DOES have a 3 foot tall stuffed Dora that I MUST hide at night as it freaks me out to be watching tv and see her big ass head staring at me from the corner.

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

Not kidding. I did NOT get that on the first clue. Carrot? NEWMAN! I should've known!

Mamma Schmoo said...

Swiper should get his own show. Perhaps a cross over where he steals one of Blue's clues....then what would Steve and Blue do? What would they do without all the clues?

I am not impressed by Dora as my littlest's first word was not Mommy or was backpack. Thanks, Dora, thanks alot!

Emma in Canada said... terrible a mother am I that I never realized that Swiper actually managed to swipe stuff?

Apparently I blog during Dora. Or clean. Or something.

And like Blue Momma, meeting me would put the word fat intp perspective.

Beccy said...

So that's why the children have far too many clothes!

A's Mom said...

No, what's even worse is the way the Little Einsteins say "!" Now that's annoying.

KiKi said...

You are hilarious. Hopefully you're singing at home and not going to work like me and singing the Backyardigan theme and bopping while waiting for the elevator.

My very analytical 4 year old daughter breaks down every cartoon. "Mommy, foxes don't wear gloves and mask. Mommy, mice don't cook (Ratatouille)." But despite her disbelief, she still watches.

And for some reason she loves that brat Caillou.

Rachel said...

I kinda want Swiper to knock to shit outta Dora and Boots after he swipes something.

Liam's Mom - Gina said...

You are cracking me up on the Blue and Dora comments. I am smart and evil too! Hilarious observations.

M said...

dude. i hear ya. all over.