Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

I feel like I'm running out of time. As I write this, Christmas is exactly 19 days, 14 hours and 34 minutes away. Dear God, what am I going to do?

I don't know how this happened, I mean, I bought my first Christmas present on January 6th. How does one start 12 days after the last event and is still not done this close to the wire?

Little Man is done. He's not getting a ton of gifts this year, because it seems there's nothing left for him to own. And what he doesn't own is for kids three years and older and would be of no use to him, although I'd love for him to get cracking on learning to play Scrabble, just so I can feel better about Blue Momma beating me every single time at Facebook's Scrabulous. Surely I can beat a two year-old who pronounces outdoor spaces as "outchide."

He is getting a little four-wheeler, because he's a Texas boy and embarrassingly enough, we're way behind on his redneck training. The kid can't even spit chewing tobacco properly yet.

We're hoping that by strapping a dead baby deer to the front of this, the neighborhood will be convinced that he's one of them. Even if he'll be wearing an argyle Gymboree vest with a Tommy Hillfiger blue long-sleeved dress shirt while riding around. He'll also probably pout that we didn't get him the fluorescent pink Dora ATV.

He's also getting books, because I think it's important for kids to not have too much fun. And because he's half Canadian, so I believe that despite being Texan by birth, he should be somewhat literate.

And then he's getting a couple of other toys. And that's it.

Sweetie Pie is not done, although I'm running out at lunch and taking care of him. All he wants for Christmas is a coupon that guarantees him adaily bj. But they don't sell those at Walmart, so he's getting a new backpack/laptop case and a new electric razor. I'm sure he'll think they're better than his Christmas wish.

I still need to finish my sisters' birthday gift, which is a recipe book/album with all of my grandmother's recipes. I only have some pictures in hard copies and our scanner is dead, so I need to figure out if I can go to Kinko's and scan them there and upload them to Snapfish from Kinko's. Snapfish keeps stressing me by telling me I only have 8 more days to order the gifts in time for Christmas. Which is so not helpful.

Then I need to get the two senior citizens and one foster child I've adopted their Christmas gifts. I also adopted a teenager, and I got her done easily, because she wanted scrapbooking supplies, which I have about $3,000 worth of stock from my Creative Memories consultant days. So she's getting a crapload of stuff, just because I just want to get rid of some at this point.

I think Christmas would be a really good time to start smoking again.




CPA Mom said...

too bad you can't adopt me...I love Creative Memories.

My husband wants that SAME gift certificate. He's not getting it either.


Nina Diane said...

can I join you for that cigarette?

AndreAnna said...

You had me at "dead baby deer."

Sandy said...

Don't forget the Shiner Bock decals for that 4 wheeler!

Kellie said...

And drinking. Don't forget truckload amounts of alchohol.

Jesse said...

We've thought about the 4-wheeler also since we do live in the country but maybe next year. As for that gift certificate yeah David wants the same thing-aww so sorry not this year.

Morgan Leigh said...

I *heart* creative memories. That's so sweet of you to adopt those people and give them Christmas gifts. You are better off than I am, I have exactly 0 presents for my kids and 2 presents for my nephew and 1 for my niece.

And? My anniversary is next Tuesday. I've got hubby 2 cards.


:) Cute 4wheeler for Little Man.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I'm a little insulted by you totally making fun of me and my entire clan. You're about to start a Hatfield & McCoy blood feud, what with Sweetie Pie teaching Little Man that Aggies & Cowboys are okay, too.

But, why did you not get him a rifle. All two year old Texans should learn how to shoot.

And, the belt buckle with his name burned in the leather. Musn't forget that.

And, a cowboy hat.

Rachel said...

You should be ashamed! That boy should already know how to field dress a deer by now!!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Ugh... I have not even started. This didn't help get me in the mood!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I cant believe no one has commented about your "daily bj" statement? How DID everyone overlook that?


Slick said...

Aww man, Sweetie Pie is gonna be so disappointed!

I asked for the same thing. Hope Santa is good to me ;)

Little Man is gonna enjoy his new ride....but don't forget the wench. Every redneck has to have a wench.

Outchide isn't a word?

Anonymous said...

You can MAKE him that coupon. Put pink sparklies on it.

That Chick Over There said...

That was me. I'm anonymous, but not really because I'm outing myself. I clicked the damn button on accident, but I wanted to make sure you knew that I support bj's.

Ms. Porter said...

Heeeey...didn't you say you were finished shopping???

Funny you couldn't buy those daily coupons at Target, they don't sell them here at Zellers or Walmart...hmmm. Looks like my hubs is gonna have to be happy with what I got him too.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Cheese IN THE PURSE???? I'd kill him!!! He KNOWS not to screw with my COACH bags - it doesn't matter if he bought them or not!!


Deb said...

I think dangling the bj coupon could be the leverage you need to get lots of holiday prep done with his help.