Tuesday, December 04, 2007

I Might Be The Luckiest Person Alive

So yesterday, I'm at home with Little Man, he's napping, I'm catching up on shows I've Tivoed, it's a great day off that included seeing some old friends in the morning. Suddenly the door bell rings and I run to the door, because why is it someone always rings the door bell during nap time? Especially when my son is starting to show signs that maybe at some point he won't take three hour naps anymore, like on Sunday where he slept exactly 0.0 minutes.

I open the door, and there's my favorite mail person. Her hair unbrushed, the smell of old nicotine hovering around her, she always brings me good stuff like eBay orders and it's nice to be there when she has packages for me.

I look at the package and it's a ginormous box from Emma.

And I opened it and I was blinded by the rays of sunshine and rainbows pouring out of it. Because this? Might be the greatest package ever sent to anyone, let alone me.

Want to see what I got?

See that? it's three books! Not one, not two, three! Which Little Man would tell you is tres in Spanish. And Dora the Explorer would agree with him. I haven't read any of them before, so I'm very, very excited!

And Little Man got a book too! Whoo-hoo! Canadian litterature for Little Man! I'm so excited! We've already read it six times in a row. It's safe to say I now know my ABC's. The illustrations? Are beautiful.

Then it gets really, really, really good.

Those? Are the best chocolate chip cookies in the world. How they're not available in the US and haven't put Chips Ahoy into bankruptcy protection, I'll never know. The only way I can describe them is imagine biting into a best-chocolate in the world filled kitten. When you bite into them, they practically purr. And your eyes tend to roll to the back of your head. And then you see colors that you didn't even know existed. And for that second, the world stops and all you hear is the singing of the sun.

Yeah, they're that good. Because I love Little Man almost as much as I love those cookies, I gave him one. He was so honored, he promised that he would never ever force me to watch Dora the Explorer with him again and make me pretend that I care that Boots the monkey lost his bouncy bouncy ball.

And the can of coffee? Oh goodness. That coffee must be the work of angels. I get myself a large English Toffee Cappucino every single time I can when I'm in Canada. How Emma knows these things about me? I have no freaking clue. She's either the world's most discreet stalker, or I've blogged about every detail of my life. Should I someday need someone to write a thorough biography of me, my first choice would be Emma, because she can probably recite to you where every single one of my moles are too.

But there's more! Look! It's chocolate! Not just any chocolate, Canadian chocolate! I once posted about how there are no Smarties in the US. Emma found this to be appalling. And I am with her. I've already written three letters to my congressman and senator on this issue, but apparently an exit strategy in Iraq is more important to them. And Aero, oh the greatness that is Aero. And Caramilk. It's a toss up on which has more greatness. I'd describe the feelings to you, but it would probably kill you to know that you have never gotten to live in a country with this much wonderfulness. Have you all applied for immigration to Canada yet? Because the whole country? It's filled with fantastic foods like this, I'm not even kidding you. There's also snow. Oh and beavers. We like beavers a lot.

Look! It's Canadian Magazines! Not just that! One of them? Says "reception copy" on it. In my opinion, you can't truly know someone is your friend until they steal reading material from work for you. Such thoughtfulness fills me with very, very fuzzy and gooey feelings.

But this? This is my FAVORITE gift of all! Look it's gum! But it's packaged like its food for a Supermodel! At first I was confused, because I thought it really was flavored like a roast duck with blackberry sauce like it said on the back. But it's actually cinnamon gum. The sheer brilliance of this makes me afraid to even eat it. It's too great to just be eaten!

Did I mention Emma freaking rocks????

And since I'm posting pictures left right and center, I got called a douchebag by someone who shall remain unnamed for not posting a picture of my Christmas tree. So there you go. In all of its glory. Notice there's nothing on the top of the tree. That would be because the tree fell over last year and our Santa at the top lost his ceramic face in the fall. He was headless Santa for the rest of the Christmas season. I just couldn't put him up again. I have requested from my mother-in-law a new tree topper, hopefully it's not something ugly and tacky that I regret for the next 30 years...

In 30 years, it will have so many ornaments on it, that the floor will cave in. That day, I will have finally achieved the tree of my dreams.

On a completely separate note, some of you have pointed out that Little Man's picture is missing from my header. I have no idea why. It shows up in the template, but on the blog, it doesn't. And I'm too stupid about these things to know how to fix it. However, I have a brilliant designer working on a new template for me, since I won third place in Splat Design's giveaway (link is still in my sidebar if you want her to create one for you, she's insanely affordable and does fantastic work) and will be using my monthly allowance to spruce up this place.

Also, you'll notice that the countdown to my pregnancy is gone. That's because Aunt Flo is expected any second now. Without getting too graphic, I know she'll be here by tomorrow in full force. Don't feel bad for me, I don't think I was ready to get pregnant this month, due to fear of having back to back miscarriages. Next month, I'm getting off the pregnancy bandwagon, because my math states baby #2 would either share a birthday with Little Man or be one or two days before. Which I will not do to my child, simply because he already has to share his birthday month with his dad, grandfather and Mama, with only a 9 day spread between the four of us. And with my niece having her birthday two weeks before Little Man, that's just too many damn kid birthdays.

I know that might seem stupid, but I'm going to wait another month and shoot for an end of September, early October baby instead.

Plus, I'd probably be ovulating while we're in Canada for Christmas, which I just cannot do it at my parents house. I don't have it in me.




Nina Diane said...

and that's when it's going to happen.......when you're not even trying!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Oh, come on. You gotta put out in front of the fire at your parents. It's the naughty factor.

Way to send an arm & a leg, Emma!! I'm so impressed. I'm almost tempted to drive across the border just for the delicious morsels.

Glad you & Lindsay hooked up!

Loukia said...

What a great package that was! :) How fun to receive...
So you'll be in Canada over the holidays? That's also awesome! Do you realize how much snow has fallen here already? My son hates winter and is already refusing to wear boots and snowpants. We're in for a long winter! We should arrange a playdate when you're here! :)

Sandcastle Momma said...

Little Man will thank you for waiting one day. My sons have birthdays 6 days apart and they HATE that. We live about 70 miles from most of our family and since no one wants to drive over 2 times in one week for parties we have their parties together and they think that stinks. This year we had their parties on the same day but one in the morning and one in the afternoon and they still didn't like it. They both want to know why they were born so close together when their sister's birthday is months later. I tell them that's the oldest boy's fault - he was 10 weeks premature so if he'd have stayed put for 10 more weeks they wouldn't share a birthday week. Sharing birthdays is almost as bad as having your birthday on Christmas day (which my uncle does and no one ever remembers because duh it's Christmas LOL)

Anonymous said...

Little Man's picture shows up. Did I miss something?

The package? ROCKS the house!

The tree? Gorgeous!!

And what's this crap about not putting out at your parents' house? Pfft. :)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Love the blog - wish I had some Canadian friends to hook me up!!

All I have is a bigwig brother who works for Starbucks in some hoighty toighty position - and I don't like coffee!!!


Emma in Canada said...

Do you remember when I wrote the post about all the American goodness we can not get up here, and you responded by telling me what you couldn't get down there. This was right around the time of the book swap. The only thing I couldn't remember when I got to Superstore was had you said chocolate chip or chocolate chunk. And you are right, they are delicious goodness.

Lola comes home is the one that made me pee my pnats laugh on page 8. Let me know if you are as amused as I was!

Sandy said...

Holy crap! That is a tremendous care package. Goodies galore!

Lil man's picture shows up when I pull up your blog also, so I don't know what's up.

My hubbie used to only do it on the floor at my parents (cold freakin' linoleum!) so the bed wouldn't make noise...did I mention we were 30 and 40 when we got married?????

monster's momma said...

I am in awe of Emma.
Little Man shows up for me. :)

Morgan Leigh said...

Wow. What a wonderful care package from Emma! :)

I don't blame you, for not wanting to do it at your parents house. :)

beebop @ fantasticvoyage.wordpress.com said...

as much as i hate to read about people who's kids birthdays are too close together (STOP IT PEOPLE YOU ARE SCARING ME) I still intend on having TTP on TP's birthday.

and those Prez Choice cookies? I swear to god we used to buy those @ walmart a few years back.

and doing it @ your parents house would make for a tremendous conception story, I say, balls to the walls baby...

M said...

This entry made me cry. Some people? Are so freaking nice it hurts. Emma? Is one of them. And so are you. So her? Being kind to you? Makes me weepy.

And seriously I'm SO glad my kids are on opposite ends of the birthday dates. Because we have WAY too much in the fall zone and 2 birthdays in one month would've driven me insane (seriously. From September 1 to November 11th we have Josh sister, my mom, hag in law, josh, both my sisters, my cousin, my niece, and my nephew!!! wth man! the majority of those? Between october 9th and november 11th.)

So waiting out a month isn't such a bad thing. Really.

And...one note to the person having her kids birthday on the SAME day? That is the ONLY way I'd want kids birthdays close together. That? Is fantastic amusement! And always duo parties! WOOT! Save money!

Jesse said...

What an awesome package and how fun to get all sort of goodies.

Melissa said...

Totally Awesome! I used to have my mom send me Swiss Chalet sauce packs and Neo Citron when we lived in WA. And then I would guard them with my life!! Not one drop could be spared!

Rachel said...

I really could kick your ass for posting all those pictures of delicious cookies and candy.

Does Little Man not mess with the tree?

You know you're gonna get preggy when you're not trying.

"J" said...

I'm new to this...just passing through...

Your tree is very pretty!

Your blog post CRACKS me up!!!

Alyssa said...

Hey catwomen I haven't been around in awhile so I have been catching up on all your posts. I had to comment ont his one because it has Tim Hortons and Aero bars and well not one is alloud to even come visit me without bringing case of Aero bars. I have 3 cases in my cupboard right now. Did you know they have the areo 100 calorie singles now. So yumm. Now I can have one every day with no guilt. Ok two, sometimes three but who is counting. The only thing Emma missed is ketchup trips. No Canadian goodie bag is complete without ketchup chips. On the passport thing. I had to fly to the nearest US city and drive through. I did not even have a valid copy of my birth certificate so I was shitting bricks the whole time but got through with no troubles. It pays to be fabulous. JK! Hope you have a great white Christmas in Canada, if not at least enjoy the cavity search!

Alyssa said...

sorry for all the spelling mistakes and typos, my 4 year old was talking my ear off the whole time!