Friday, November 02, 2007

This is How Dedicated of a Blogger I Am

Notice the time I'm blogging at? Yeah, that's how dedicated I am. I'm not officially part of the National Blogging Month, because I figure that I just can't be committed to anything that serious. I mean, sure I did the whole marriage thing, but that's not as serious of a committment as blogging every day for a month, what with Britney Spears having done the marriage thing, but her blogging is extremely sporadic.

So I've had the worst sore throat all week. Really, really bad. And even though that little counter said that tomorrow I could expect a visit from Aunt Flo, I wasn't sure about testing, because really, she could decide to make her visit at 28 days again, and the bitch is really sporadic these days. Plus? I'll be honest with you guys, because I always have been, in all the years we've been together. If I were pregnant this month, it would be an absolute miracle, because I've been really, really lazy about the whole putting out thing. And the best bets of my being pregnant? Were sadly, from a handjob. I'm not kidding you. I kind of turkey basted myself afterwards, just in case it happened to be a day. And I thought to myself that if I were pregnant, it'd be really really bad to nickname my unborn child HJB, a.k.a Handjob Baby, and therefore it wasn't going to happen.



The world is cruel right? So please help me come up with a better nickname than HJB. Also, if you're reading this before 6:30 a.m. CST? You've found out before Sweetie Pie. Yeah, you're welcome.

Love,

Catwoman.

36 comments:

AndreAnna said...

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

AndreAnna said...

Hey, that SOB comment thingie cut my WooHoo short! Like, so NOT cool!

SO happy for you! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Lori said...

YAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!
Congratulations!!!!

ohio blue eyes said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! HANDJOB BABY!!! LOVE IT!!!
(cant believe you used the term "turkey basted"...OMFG)...
I am pregnant w/doggystyle baby, if thats any help?
CONGRATS! BUST OUT THOSE MATERNITY CLOTHES YOUVE BEEN STOCKING UP!!!

Kellie said...

OH MY GOD!!!!! I was wondering why I got a comment from you at 2:09am.

OH MY GOD!!!!! I'm SO excited for you. :) :) :) :) :) :)

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. If he doesn't already know about it, I would refrain from telling Sweetie Pie about the turkey baster thing - definitely a blow to the ego to be bested in the bedroom by a kitchen utensil.

Nina Diane said...

OMG.......CONGRATS!!!
This is great news! And take that ole Aunt Flo.......

Bren said...

Aw, congrats to you and Sweetie Pie! Now you will be glad you booked the B&B with the TV.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

YAYAYAYAY!!! COngratulations. I love the name Handjob Baby. Cause seriously, having to inseminate yourself shows your dedication! I think you need to make hubs junk retract by telling him it was solo & artificially done. Does this mean I need to bring over all MY maternity stuff I bought?

Chuck said...

Wow, a miraculous conception! Congrats!

Slick said...

WOOOOOHOOOOOO!! Congrats girl!!

Let me get this straight....you got pregnant from giving a handjob and turkey basting yourself?

Oh Lord, there's no tellin' how many chitlins I got runnin around then.

Morgan Leigh said...

yayayayayayay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so happy for you!

:-) :-)

Wooooohooooo!

MartiniGal said...

OMG!!! I'm so happy for you!!! Congrats!!

Katie said...

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, I am SOOO excited for you!!!! Now you finally can wear those maternity clothes without excuses! HAHA!

Blue Momma said...

I am SOOOOOOOO happy for you! SO, SO, SO happy!

But yes, HJB probably isn't the best nickname. I'd hate to have to explain that to him/her one day!

Turkey baster, huh? Maybe I need to try that because nothing else seems to be working....

Emma in Canada said...

OH my God! Yay! I am so happy for you! I am leaving lots of exclamations!

Personally I love the name handjob baby almost as much as I love doggystyle baby for OBE (which is what Saoirse was too, since everyone loves toknow that sort of stuff. At least I do.)

Rachel said...

Holy shit!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

random_mommy said...

I already told you in my email, but I'm soo happy for you! The picture gave me chills!

emmainlondon said...

Oh I am so so so pleased for you. Tears even. And I don't even know you. Just so damn pleased that you are going to be able to wear all those fab new maternity finds.

And also this feels like a good omen for me - perhaps this kid will come out soon.

Huge congrats to you, Sweetie Pie and Little Man.

Loukia said...

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!! I nominate this post as the BEST POST EVER! Holy smokes, you're so funny and most of all:
CONGRATULATIONS
CONGRATULATIONS
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!! What fantastic, wonderful news! WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....... Yay! And I'm still laughing...

Julie said...

Holy Shit - that is AWESOME!!! See, all that good karma with the super maternity clothes paid off. And sometimes the best things happen when you're least expecting them.

And the whole turkey basting thing - holy shit that was funny.

Pardon my French today! : )

Haphazardkat said...

WOOOO!!!!
Dying laughing and wooping with joy for you right now!!
HJB...ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa!!!
Congrats, Hun!! :D

Melissa said...

A million congrats!!!! :)

SJ said...

Major congrats to you!

And a quick sidenote? You crack my shit up....

mumof4 said...

DIY babe (DIY = do it yourself).
Congratulations.... so when are you due??? Late July??

That Chick Over There said...

OMG!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!

Sandy said...

Congratulations! and I agree with mumof4 - I think DIY may be better than HJB!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

I don't even know you, but I'm so excited for you!! Congratulations!!!

M said...

I suppose I should post my public EEEEEEK since you got the private one.

And DIY is probably far more appropriate, and equally accurate, than HJB but the 2nd makes me laugh more.

Uh oh. Blogger predicts it's a boy. My verification word? sumboyz. Of course blogger, evidently, is a 13 year old moron who cannot spell but still. It may be sum boyz you end up with! WEEEE! (I'm glad blogger placed its guess already because I have no vibe yet.)

Ms. Porter said...

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!
Oh right, congratulations to you, how exciting!!!!!!!

alissa said...

I don't know you, and yet right now my smile is so very big for you!!!!!!

How absolutely wonderful!!!!!

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!

I don't read your blog for a few days andt look at what I miss!!!!

Congrats to you an Sweetie Pie!!!

Beccy said...

I take a few days off from blogging and miss all the breaking news!

That has to be the best news, many congratulations.

CPA Mom said...

ok seriously? A turkey baster baby? I'm away a few days and come back to this?

Anyway. CONGRATULATIONS LADY! AWESOME!!

Sam said...

Sorry I haven't stopped by for a little while and look what I missed.

OMG a turkey baster, are you serious?.....serious?

Anyway, congrats to you, that's great news!! *Hugs*

CC said...

"I kind of turkey basted myself afterwards, just in case it happened to be a day."

What a CLASSIC line! I love this!