Thursday, November 29, 2007

It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas

So I have to say, I love, love, love Christmas time. A time where people shove each other at the mall, in their race to buy crap that the recipient will promptly hide in the back of their closet and then two years later sell for 2 dollars at their garage sale, or donate it to the Salvation Army so that poor people are stuck trying to decide what to do with it.

We put up our tree last week, which is always an event that destroys the Dallas power grid, because I believe that a Christmas tree is not a real Christmas tree if it isn't adorned with at least 125,609 white bulbs.

Then, we put up our 239 mismatched ornaments, because there are two schools of tree decorating, the Martha Stewart all one-color tree decorating, which to me is a little like sorting one's closets by shirt color and season, I mean come on, let loose, fart in public, really live man! Which puts me in the second category, which is that no more than two ornaments on the tree can match, and each year you add more, so that your tree ressembles something a three-year old put together when he was really, really drunk.

Sweetie Pie? He was raised in a family from the first kind of Christmas tree, which really isn't surprising, since he's Baptist and all, and color, like dancing, is considered to be a sin.

And so our tree is up. And the decorations are on. And yet, every day since we've put it up, Little Man goes around the tree, handpicks his favorite ornaments, removes them and carries them around, like they're his personal treasures. When you ask him what the hell he's doing, he just looks at you and tells you that "It's Little Man's." Because to a two-year old, everything is his. Even my mascara and my maxi pads are his.

I'm thinking we'll need to break him of this by the time he's a teenager, so he's not stealing cars and claiming to the cops that duh, they're his.

My shopping is almost done, which of course means that my eyes are twitching, because shopping? How can it ever be done? As long as there are paychecks earned, money has to be spent, right?

Love,

Catwoman.

15 comments:

AndreAnna said...

I like the idea of your tree - sounds fun and quirky!

We do the boring martha stewart kind, with a few ornaments here and there.

southernmom said...

OMG. I am rolling.
I adore you.
I am an all white lights girl. But the ornaments. They're pure history and are a hodgepodge of homemade, storebought and gifts. It makes for hours of decorating fun.
You're a doll!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Maxi pads? What is he stuffing his diaper to woo some ladies?? :)

My tree looks like yours, I'm thinking. But, it's more homey if it's assembled with new and more every year, right?

Sandy said...

I love trees like yours. Every ornament tells a story and when your baby is helping his baby destruct the tree, he will be telling the stories! Trust me on this one.

Rachel said...

I haven't put up our tree yet. We will get it up after we move tomorrow, I hope. But, I am scared. Alyssa messed with it a little bit last year, but she was only crawling. Now, she walks, runs, climbs, jumps, tears shit up, destroys...

Blue Momma said...

I'm not a fan of the matching tree either. Very impersonal in my opinion. I've been collecting my ornaments since before I even had my own tree and a ton of them have sentimental value.

Of course those are all up higher on the tree as the Demolition Man may or may not decide to notice them and watch them break on the hardwoods.

So far we've been lucky, though. I am the only one to break anything so far!

Slick said...

"As long as there are paychecks earned, money has to be spent, right?"

All the proof I needed to know that you're 100% female.

I'm kind of like your husband....sweet and simple. All white lights and nothing over the top....

Sucks to be us...we rarely ever get our way.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I love your shopping philosopshy! You should print it on shirts, sell them and have MORE money to spend.

My son is currently at Lackland AFB, Texas for the Air Force - went down for his graduation and did the whole San Antonio thing. It was hot but we had a great time.

Now I'm freezing my gazongas off back in Maine - why did I complain about the 107 degrees in Texas?
:-)
Hallie

Emma in Canada said...

My mother's tree matches. I hate it. Too dull. Mine may be messy but it has ornaments that I made when I was little. Now that Saoirse is in playschool it'll be full of hers. Just like my walls will have tissue paper wreaths and paper plate snowmen.

Jesse said...

My mil's tree is ivory and gold and it's pretty. However, my tree has multi-color lights and all different colored ornaments or what some like to call the "kid tree" and you know I love it because I have stuff on there from when I was a kid and now every year I get the kids a new fun oranment.

Morgan Leigh said...

:) We're not putting up a Christmas Tree this year, as of right now, because we're not celebrating Christmas until later since I'll be 100 different place but home this year.

But who knows? Tomorrow? Our plans may change.

:)

But, I love this time of the year, too! :)

Ms. Porter said...

You made me laugh with your comment on my blog! Thanks...I need every laugh I can get and I'm almost always guaranteed one from you. Yep..I am a type a and I was created by two type a people.

I love your type of xmas tree...my fav ornaments are the ones my kids have made. Oh and I so do not believe you are almost done your shopping...no way.

Nina Diane said...

I love my morning laugh courtesy of Catwoman!
and our tree in the den is like your's with the lights...Johnny boy IS the original Clark Griswold!

mumof4 said...

I had never heard of co ordinated Christmas trees before I moved over here - or maybe I jut mixed with the wrong sort of Christmas people back in England? I am with you = white lights and all different ornaments. This year probably only ornaments from 2 1/2 from the bottom due to 1 yr old - I see the chaos he causes in the pantry.....

M said...

Yeah for trees! I'm so bummed that we've had to resort to the 3 foot wonder tree and scale back our ornaments this year in hopes of our kids not killing themselves. (Funny, the 8 month old and the toddler don't listen so well).

I'm SO a crazy tree decorator too. Though I prefer multicolored lights generally speaking though this year we're white white baby.

Now, do we get a PIC of this tree? Hag.