Friday, November 16, 2007

It Just Doesn't Sound Good

Here's an email I received the other day from Sweetie Pie.

"Subject: Money

Body of email:

This ends tonight.

(pasted text from online banking site) current balance: $0.00"

Good thing the man only has a yellow belt in tae kwondo, right?

So I came home and we fought for two hours after Little Man went to bed. And Sweetie Pie? Thinks I need to see a therapist because in his words, I have issues when it comes to money. Which I admit, I'm terrible with money. I've never claimed that I wasn't.

But here's why he thinks I need therapy. I spent 120 dollars at Target. I told him that I didn't mean to spend that much, and that I'd just gone in to buy hummus. Because the Target brand hummus is the best one ever.

And Sweetie Pie said "how the hell does hummus cost 120 bucks?"

To which I replied that it doesn't. But after getting the hummus, Little Man spotted the green apples, so I bought a bag of organic green apples for him. And then I thought I'd check to see if Target carried my Indian sauce that I use to make my chicken curry. And they did. And since it's hard to find, I bought two of those. Then, I remembered that Little Man is out of vitamins. Then I remembered I was running low on prenatal vitamins. Then I saw some organic baby shampoo, body wash and stretch mark cream on clearance for 90 percent off. Then I saw the perfect Christmas present for my sister. Then Little Man fell in love with a Elmo goes potty sound book. Then I saw some tulip bulbs on clearance.

And so on, and so on.

I get to the cash register and I have $120 hummus.

And the man thinks that I'm crazy because of that.

Little does he know that I'm actually crazy because of the voices in my head who tell me that Brad Pitt is the father of my future children and I will not rest until I obtain his sperm.

I'm kidding about that.

Well, only half of it.




dalettre said...

Sorry to hear about the fight. My husband and I are right on the same page when it comes to money and I am so appreciative of that. I know it can be a big strain on marriages.

AndreAnna said...

I've had diapers cost me damn near $300.

Rachel said...

OMG, laughing out loud, seriously!
Tarjay is like a money sucking pit. I love it so much.
We fellow Tarjay disciples totally understand. You don't have a problem, honest. :-)
This was too cute!

ShayShay said...

You and I will venture to L.A. together to obtain Sexiest Man Alive Sperm, and $120 hummus. But really, this will improve. Don't go hungry, bring a list, all those things you've heard will get easier.

Slick said...

If "Sweetie Pie" thinks a 120 dollar trip to Target is out of line, wait until he sees what you pay for a vial of "Underarm Pitts" sperm.

He'll go all black belt judo on you then....

ShayShay said...

oh yeah, my shrink assures me that if your bills are paid first, then you do NOT have an issue with money.

random_mommy said...

In all seriousness, we have the same problem. I can't go into a store and leave with only a few things. It feels wrong. I ENJOY buying stuff. And as I'm paying, I get the feeling in my gut that says, You shouldn't be doing this.

If you see a therapist, let me know what they say. I just keep imagining how if I would stop spending, we'd have a pool in the backyard.

Anonymous said...

I went to my crackhouse Thursday night for: diapers and toothpaste.

Clearly? Inflation is high where I live as my checking account took a $156 hit.

Then, I had to return to the crackhouse today for diapers and toothpaste.

I? Am fun like that.

Or something.

Julie said...

Doesn't he know it's literally IMPOSSIBLE to go into Target for just one item? I swear they drug you when you walk in that store. Abby just got her white belt - I fly her out for back up! : )

Blue Momma said...

I handle the money at our house (hubby doesn't know if we have $1 ro $10K in the bank) so when I spend too much I have to fuss at myself.

Mostly, I just fuss at hubby for spending money and cut myself some slack!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Oh, you know I would never fuss..that would be pot calling kettle black. I emphasize, sympathize & curse Sweetie Pie for not realizing how Target sucks the life force out of you. I get it. And, me? Got screamed at for over an hour for the 900 I spent at Market St last month. I wonder if we split the therapist, they'd appreciate how we're saving??/

Loukia said...

Ahh.. welcome to my world! You know sometimes when you think about 'what am I actually really good at?' and you can't really think of anything? Except to say that you're a great mom - besides that - what do I have that I am good at? For me, it's spending money. I am sooo amazingly good at that, it's insane. If I have money.. it's gone, out of my hands, in hours. I work downtown. I shop everyday at lunch time. I leave the house in the a.m and by 10 a.m. I have spend 10 dollars. A day. 3 bucks a day on water - 2 bottles of Evian - and a grande de-cafe caramel macchiato and lemon poppy seed loaf everyday from Starbucks. That's before lunch! Blah! I'm depressed now. Just know you're not alone.

Emma in Canada said...

Since we don't have Target here I will have to use Wal-Mart as my shop of comparison. I can not go into Wal-Mart for just one thing. In fact, I once spent $80 and I turned to William and said "that is the least I have ever spent here!" ANd he? Was not pleased. I mean seriously. Why go to such a big place for just one thing? He's got to know I'm going to spend at lesat $100.

That Chick Over There said...

Sigh. I'm the one like your husband in my marriage. My husband is a spender and I'm a saver. He goes to Food City to get toilet paper and comes home with $200 of cookies and chips because they were "on sale!"

I love him, deeply. Which is a good thing for him.


Rachel said...

I don't see anything wrong with what you just described.

Besides they were on clearance!

Which half are you kidding about?

Nina Diane said...

and he didn't even pay attention to all of the money you were saving! hmphhh

Sandy said...

Dillard's 75% off rack almost ruined my marriage. I understand. I have no great advice but I understand.

Bren said...

You had me laughing out loud with the Brad Pitt part!

I bought $110 shampoo at Target today. Hubby says he doesn't want to see the receipt. That's good because I don't want him to see it.

Morgan Leigh said...

I've spent $400 on diapers and wipes before.

Damn Target. They need to come down on their prices!


Sorry about the fight.

I'm a Mom!..? said...

You're obviously not alone here -- Sometimes I feel like I should just pay them $100 bucks at the door, because it's never less than than that..

Lindsay said...

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come visit

Daphne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daphne said...

It's like as soon as you walk in the doors, they have an invisible undetectable gas that they're pumping in through the vents ... you CANNOT leave there without spending damn near all your money.

Cheri said...

Oh,so sorry you two had a fight. Money fights are the worst. Hope it's better today or at least hopefully payday came this week. BTW, I just moved to CO from the same area you live in. I miss it, but I'm looking forward to having a winter. Snow, not ice like we get in TX.

Also, love your blog and best wishes in the baby-making dept.

Stefanie said...

Girl, I could seriously spend 100 bucks in Targay in the dollar bin!

Thanks for your sweet thoughts on my blog the other day. It's so nice to have support from fellow moms!

M said...

Oh dear cod my husband is like that too. Which is why *I* do the budget and the bills and why *he* just closes his eyes and yells "I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! I DO NOT WANT TO EAT TOP RAMEN ALL WEEK! I KNOW WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER THING OF TOOTHPASTE I DON'T CARE IF IT'S ON CLEARANCE AND YOU HAVE A COUPON AND IT WILL BE ONLY A DOLLAR! I'M LEAVING TARGET AND NEVER COMING BACK!" Loud enough so all the women in the aisle snicker and the men look longingly at him for daring to say such a thing to me.

Then I ignore him and keep filling my cart.

alissa said...

And this is why I cannot go into Costco.

More shit than you don't really need at a price you can't refuse.

6 years ago I bought a skid of sandwich size Ziploc bags. Need some? I've still got lots and lots. For you & all your friends.

Ms. Porter said...

I'm the same...I have very little self control. You already know I'm doing the whole cash thing and it's working but today I had to go and return some stuff I bought because I had already spent the entire amount of money that was supposed to keep me going until the end of the two weeks (at the end of the month)!

Alyssa said...

I one went into target for a $12 pillow and come out with $200 worth of maternity clothes. Here is the crazy part. I was not even pregnant......but I might be one day...and I was....and they came in handy! Oh and could you relay a message to Emma for me that Walmart and Target cannot be compared as similar stores! From one shop-a-holic to another I am sure you can agree with me on this one!