Monday, October 29, 2007

Sorely Unprepared

On Saturday, Sweetie Pie had his first Tae kwondo belt test. I'd told him that Little Man and I wanted to skip Little Gym so that we could cheer him on, because I'm trying to be a supportive wife. In exchange, I expect him to come to my next scrapbooking crop and stare at me for five hours as I carefully crop pictures, apply adhesive, stick them the the page and then add stickers.

I figured this would be a simple affair, 30 minutes to 45 minutes top. Since Little Man is now two years old and pretty laid back, except for a couple of diapers in the car and a sippy cup of water, we tend to leave with not a thing in hand.

Ends up? we were at the taekwondo event almost two hours. And about an hour into it, Little Man was incredible bored. I? Being the seasoned mother that I am, had absolutely not one toy with me.

So I did the only thing I could do. I handed Little Man my almost authentic Burberry purse and let him explore its content.

It started mildly enough.


See my cute little $24 Burberry purse in the back? Yeah, it's cute.




If you thought his lips were kissable before, you should try them after half a tube of Soft Lips.

I obviously have put a lot of lip gloss in front of him during his short life, because he can do it like a pro.

Then, things got a little messy, because he decided that his face was greasy enough from the Soft Lips.


That would be Mac lipstick, thank you very much, in the color Chic. Only the best for my little boy.


Unfortunately, his lack of a steady hand shows a lot more when you use dark lipstick.


I couldn't get him to look at the camera, apparently he was afraid I'd post these on the Internet or something. Like I'd ever do something that horrible, I mean come on, I'm not Britney Spears mother, now am I? No, I'm serious, am I? Because if so, I should totally be able to get a copy of her new CD for free, rather than look for someway to get it online for free. Also? Did you hear? Britney's real mother is writing a parenting book. Now why couldn't this have been published before I was pregnant with Little Man, obviously I would have done a much better job with him and he wouldn't have to resort to putting on lipstick to entertain himself in public.

An elderly woman was sitting beside me, and she thought the whole thing was really, really funny. However, she felt the need to point out to me that at one point, Sweetie Pie looked over and when he saw what Little Man was doing, apparently he looked quite horrified. Which amused the elderly lady even more. She? Is the kind of elderly woman I want to be, the kind who can laugh with bad moms, rather than do the raised eyebrow judgemental thing.

Sweetie Pie regularly accuses me of gaying Little Man. I have no idea what he's talking about.

Love,

Catwoman.

21 comments:

Bren said...

LOL...How funny! I hope to be one of those old ladies too.

And that is a cute purse!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Hardly gay, Cat. You're lucky you've applied this stuff before. SD would've eaten it. Now, that would've been a waste of a perfectly good tube of lipstick!

Sandy said...

...regularly accuses me of gaying Little Man.

Quite possibly one of the funniest things I've read lately. Men are so funny!

AndreAnna said...

Aww, it's all in good fun and he knows his stuff! No Wen N' Wild lipstick for him!

Haphazardkat said...

How did your shopping trip go??

Kellie said...

I'm one of those mothers, too. I don't do the raised eyebrow thing. Well, I do it if the kid is in the front seat and chugging Miller Chill from his bottle :)

Gaying him up, huh? Nah, he'll just "get" it when his future wife says "Honey, I need a good lipstick. And a kick ass purse".

:)

Morgan Leigh said...

I want to be one of those old ladies too.

Not that I'm ever going to get old.

I'm just sayin'.

Jesse said...

Cute pictures and David wouldn't have given me that horrified look as well. As a matter of fact he's always telling me that I baby him to much-oh well. BTW what belt was he going for.

Beccy said...

I so would have let my boys do that and my hubby would so have made a similar 'gay' remark.

Rachel said...

What's worse, a little "gaying up" or a screaming, writhing, teeth gnashing, hissing, crying toddler?

ShayShay said...

Soooooooooo cute!

eeyorespage said...

Adorable!

That Chick Over There said...

I think he's precious and my opinion clearly counts more than your husbands.

So there.

Julie said...

That is very funny! And what a nice mom you are to let him play with your lipstick that probably cost more than your purse! : )

Did Sweetie Pie get his belt?

ohio blue eyes said...

nothing wrong with kissable lips little man! get those smootchers ready for TP!

alissa said...

That is too cute! But, more importantly, I'm so happy I'm not the only mother who gets accused of gaying up her little boy! You should see Michael apply blush!!! A total pro, I tell ya!

Blue Momma said...

Those photos are priceless! But with those gorgeous, big blue eyes? You should have given him mascara, not lipstick!

Does every man think EVERYTHING is gay? Because even though Little Man doesn't need it, I know a lot of straight men who could benefit from a little makeup.

CPA Mom said...

gasp! Not one toy on you! That's just as bad as SOMEONE who went to the dentist yesterday with her newly trained 3 year old without ANY spare clothing...or her son's emergency medicine...

were we separated at birth?

And may I suggest Chicken Poop lip balm for an even more kissable Little man? works for my Tigger

M said...

Oh cod I love him. I love you. I love that you listen well to my psychic prayers for pictures stories. And hooray for being prepared with a CAMERA. Screw toys when you have blackmail material. You had your priorities straight!!!

monster's momma said...

Love the pics & the story.
My monster says - mama mess! when she sees the pics.

Katie said...

Oh my gosh, this story is so funny because the other day my 1.5 year old thought it would be fun to walk around in my high heels. Then I thought... 'heck, he should carry my purse', so I offered him my purse which he accepted with great excitement. I showed him how to put it over his shoulder. Just let me tell you how fab he looked strutting his stuff down our galley kitchen. I decided it was a picture-worthy moment. Then my hubby saw him and FREAKED out and started yelling that I was turning him gay and forbade me to take his picture!! WHAT?!! ACK!! What is it with our men? A little lipstick, high heels and a purse aren't gonna hurt anyone!!! LOL! :-)