Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Perfect For Each Other

On Saturday, Anglophile and I hit a consignment sale at a church in our neighborhood. Some might say that this is the equivalent of taking an alcoholic to a kegger, what with Anglophile being recently deported to her parents house due to her overspending. But I don't like to fight hordes of suburban moms alone and Anglophile's elbows are nice and pointy. Plus she always showers before meeting me, and it's nice to hang out with someone who smells better than I do.

When we got to this sale, it was very clear that it wasn't as good as the consignment sale we're used to going to. Some of you who haven't experienced the greatness of consignment sales probably need an explanation at this point, so here it is. You know how if you have kids, you've got all these clothes that haven't even been worn, yet your child's already outgrown them? Or you have an attic full of Fisher Price toys and you really, really would like to store the Bowflex you never use there. Well, then, a consignment sales is where you want to get rid of all of that stuff. Basically, a consignment sale is a place where mothers sell all of their like new items for a fraction of their original costs. And then deal obsessed mothers like myself and M buy these items for our own kids and shout with glee about them to our terrified husbands and bloggy friends.

This is the ultimate consignment sale in the Dallas area. See those pictures on the left hand side? Yeah, it's really got that much stuff.

Anyway, this sale wasn't like that, because it was much smaller and at a church, so the stuff was thrown in hallways and in small rooms. I hit the maternity rack, because I can't help myself, while Anglophile sobbed over the lack of like-new Ralph Lauren clothing in her son's size.

My most prized outfit? A brand new Pea in the Pod (for those of you outside of the US, it's the snooty Designer Name only maternity store, with $198 maternity jeans and probably nothing under $70) 100 percent silk two piece capri and sleeveless top outfit. I paid 10 dollars for it. The price tag, that's still on it? It says the outfit was originally $295. Now the girl who sold the outfit and never wore it did buy it on clearance for $69. But still! Me? I've got me designer clothes for $10!


One tiny little hiccup, is that this outfit is in my smallest size. And it's a summer outfit. Which means I'll be seven to nine months pregnant when I can wear it. But I'm thinking at that price? It's worth a shot!

When I got home, I tried on the outfit to see if I even fit in it not pregnant. I figured my ego was less fragile right now and if I busted the silk pants now, well, I could laugh a little bit about it. And then eat a pound of chocolate chips while swigging tequila as I cried. You can't swig tequila when you're pregnant.

I came out to ask Sweetie Pie what he thought of the outfit, since it's a pink plaid, and I was worried that the capris with the shirt was just a whole lot of plaid and might make me look like a giant tablecloth.

Sweetie Pie's response?

"Are those pants a little snug?

- Yeah, there's not a ton of room to grow in the thighs, I've got the belly pouch to fill, that's about it.

- Well, I guess we better hope your ass doesn't get any bigger."

Some women? Might be really, really offended by that comment? When I told my mom the story the next day, while giggling hysterically at how non-smooth my husband is, my mom? She said that if she were married to him, she would have thrown a chair at him.

Me? I find it endearing.

Plus, it confirms that I really don't need to worry about anyone stealing him from me.




Grandmagoose said...

AS long as you are happy,that is all that counts !!

Anonymous said...

Awwww...Mr. Catwoman is sweet :) Gotta love a man that tells it like it is and isn't afraid of being smothered in his sleep because of it.

Julie said...

At least he tells you how he feels - unlike many many men!

Beccy said...

He sounds so like my hubby.

That sale looks amazing, we don't get anything like that here.

That Chick Over There said...


Blue Momma said...

My hubby would say I looked great no matter how hideous I looked. Which sounds nice at first, but really sucks if you want the truth.

But then again if he told me my ass looked like the side of a barn I would kill him.

Maybe he's smarter than I thought...

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

You didn't mention how I only spent $3 on that one sweater. Which, is kick ass for me. I mean it's like I went to the AA meeting & only drank a wine cooler. Sweetie Pie is lucky to have you, darlin. I would've played Lorena Bobbit on that one.

Emma in Canada said...

Hmm...could have sworn I left a comment. Now I can't remember what I said. Something witty I am quite sure.

M said...

*sigh* I'm so jealous you people have so damn many of them around. *sigh* Our are so few and far between right now. Bastards.

BTW...hello! $10 for designer shit in your smallest size? Give it up honey. I have one word for you EBAY!!! (To further fund your evil evil habit.)

Cod it's nice to know I'm not the only psycho who loves these things so much. *swoons*

And that husband of yours makes me swoon too. Such sweet nothings. I think he and Josh would get along miiiiiiiighty fine. Dumbasses.

Jhianna said...

Hehehe - what a charmer! The sale souns fantastic....

Delurking for
The Great Mofo Delurk 2007.

Rachel said...

Lol, at least he's honest. Chris would have said the same thing.