Thursday, September 06, 2007

Let the Ear Hair Growing Begin

Yesterday, Sweetie Pie turned 34 years old. I've known him since he was 25, which might not be that jaw dropping to some of my readers who've apparently known their husband since in utero.

But I had some slutting around to do first, so I only met him when I was 23 and starting to think that men sucked ass and that I would be better off being 65 and living with 42 cats. And one poodle, whose nails I would carefully paint every day to match my Christmas sweater, because you know I'd have to wear those year round.

Anyway, back to Sweetie Pie. So he turned 34 years old yesterday. To anyone under 25, 34 sounds really, really old. Hell, I'm 31 and 11/12th and that sounds old to me. But the thing with Sweetie Pie, is he was born an old man. He calls my music "noise" and listens to talk radio.

But yesterday night, I got the ultimate proof that my husband? Doesn't stand a chance in this world if I die.

I'm not sure how it came up, but I asked him if he knew what LOL stands for. I believe his guess was something amongst the lines of "Loser, Oh, Loser."

I was stunned. "Has no one ever written that in an email to you?" I asked.

Apparently no. His friends? They're men, and apparently men don't laugh. And when they do it, it's not out loud.

He has to die first, it's the only way. Or else, he might get eaten by our 42 cats and poodle if something happened to me.

Love,

Catwoman.

16 comments:

Julie said...

Ask him if he knows what BRB or ROFL mean! Maybe he's just abbreviation challenged?

AndreAnna said...

OMG, that is hysterical!!!

Mike is always like "You have so any emails and friends you talk to, in real life and online. I don't have any." And when I ask him why, he says "Men don't email or talk on the phone. I see them when I see them."

Well then don't complain to me you don't see your friends if you're all too testosterone-ly challened to use a telephone or email.

random_mommy said...

I sometimes tell Husband that there is an 82 year old grumpy man trapped inside his body. Maybe SP has an 87 year old.

Catwoman said...

That's funny Julie! That's exactly what I asked him next! And when I told him what ROTFL meant, he was all "who the hell rolls on the floor while they laugh? That's stupid!"

Sigh...

In his defense, he did manage to guess BRB.

Andreanna, yeah, men are weird. And highly antisocial.

Random Mommy, Sweetie Pie's 87 year-old man also has dentures that hurt him, making him especially cranky.

Morgan Leigh said...

that is too funny. hey wait! my hubby is older than yours! (not bragging) how did that happend?

atleast my hubby knows what LOL means. only cuz i told him. while i was IM-ing someone, he read it and i guess thought it meant something dirty, cuz he was kinda upset. then i explained it.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Okay, so I guess he and I are more alike than I once thought. See, you knew MTV was still on...don't you remember I was shocked by that?

And, I don't get all of these acronyms. What is BRB?? The Facebook quiz yesteray had "Mao" or something like that (It was the pet peeves one) & not knowing what the hell it was, I had to go to wikipedia to figure out if it was a pet peeve or not. I'm going to be wearing a girdle and dentures soon, aren't I? Don't answer that, bitch.

And, I defend the two of us that knew our Hubbys when we had braces. If they are still willing to love us knowing how we looked at puberty, it must be love, right?

That Chick Over There said...

Eh. I think we have the same husband. I'm amazed Jason knows how to turn the computer ON.

Rachel said...

My husband would probably not even know where you would find LOL or BRB or ROTFL.

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Catwoman, may I kindly suggest a topic for tomorrow's blog?

WHAT THE EFF DO THESE DAMN LETTERS ALL MEAN? BRG? YOU KNOW I'M 38. SHOW A LITTLE RESPECT TO YOUR ELDERS AND THROW ME A BONE.

Actually, I do know that all caps is yelling, and since I'm nursing a sore throat I'll stop now.

Blue Momma said...

Hubby is 35 (known him since he was 20 and not even legal!) and wouldn't have a clue what the letters were either. He doesn't know what blog is and could care less.

I have to admit that I sometimes don't know all of the abbreviations either, though. Of course, I really am old - but experienced.

I know enought to pretend I'm smart and know things!!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Hey, chica. You never told me. What is BRG?

Emma in Canada said...

You have 3 birthdays in 9 days? Holy freaking expensive!

alissa said...

You are too funny!

My husband? He was trying to sound 'cool' to an actual 'cool' guy he met, and decided a good way to sound 'cool' was to compliment the guys tattoos. So what did he say?

"Cool too's."

Uhhh... they're tat's. Not too's.

(But at least he knows what LOL means!!!!)

Debbie said...

Hilarious. I just popped over from Emma's blog, and I'm glad I did.

Have a great day!

Kellie said...

I was laughing out loud at the Christmas sweater year 'round and the poodles with the painted nails to match the sweater. Morgan? Threw her head back, put her hand on her mouth and laughed with me. That was pretty funny...so I laughed about that. Then had to stop and remember what was funny in the first place.

Jimmy knows what most of that stuff means. But, doesn't mean he's cool :)

Beccy said...

You got me thinking so I asked hubby, he knew lol and lmao but not rofl!