Tuesday, September 25, 2007

It's Not Easy To Be Green

Confession #984: I have a lot of hair.

Also? I seem to lose a lot of hair. You'll find my hair in all sorts of places. On furniture, on the floor, in Little Man's mouth, but the favorite place for my hair to hang out after it's escaped the clutches of my scalp is the drain of my sink.

I can't really explain to you how it happens. I don't exactly brush my hair and then shove the hair ball down the sink. I'm guessing that when I go to rinse my mouth, clumps of hair jump off and scurry into the drain to escape. My sink is one big hairy Prison Break episode.

When we moved into our new house two years ago, it took me exactly three months to clog my sink. Some would argue that since I'd had a baby during that time, I was losing hair at a faster rate, so that kind of excuses things.

During the past few weeks, my drain has gotten to be so slow, that when I go to clean my sink, the backed up water immediately dirties it again, because the gunked up make up and toothpaste have no where to go but back on the porcelain they just were.

I was reading American Baby magazine this past weekend and in it they had this brilliant solution. Apparently, if you pour down your slow drain a 1/2 cup of baking soda and then a 1/2 cup of white vinegar, wait half an hour and then pour two quarts of boiling water on top, your drain will be unclogged, and mother nature will love you a little more than if you used evil Drano.

And since I'm from Canada where we care about the environment, I wanted to give this a try.

I put the baking soda in the drain, but since the thing is pretty much clogged, the powder wouldn't really go anywhere, so I tried to push as much of it down the crack under the sink plugger thingie, which might have compressed the baking soda into the consistency of a brick, just maybe.

Then, I poured the half cup of white vinegar, which Albertsons claimed expired in September 2006, which leads me to ask, it's vinegar, how the hell does it expire, when all it is, really, is bad wine. When I poured the vinegar in, a bubbling action happened. This made me really, really excited, because obviously, it was working, and the world would be a better place. The Chilean Sea Bass population would be overjoyed and sharks would quit eating people for entertainment.

Only thing is, that I tend to forget things if I don't put timers. Like when I put Little Man in time out, if I don't put a timer reminding me to get him two minutes later, there's a good chance that he will stay on that step until next January. And that night, I forgot to set a timer on 30 minutes to let me know when it was time to boil the water.

So four hours later, I go to brush my teeth and in my sink is what looks to be plaster. And I'm confused by this at first. And then I remember. So I go to boil water, but it's late, and I'm tired and after brushing my teeth, the kettle still hasn't whistled, but I figure that it's good enough. So I pour water that's a higher temperature than lukewarm in my sink.

And instead of slowly pouring down the drain, the water sits there.

The next morning, when I get up, the now cold water is still sitting in the sink.

Apparently? The green remedy, didn't quite work, since I didn't follow the instructions to the letter. Instead of clearing my sink, it kind of clogged it completely.

So last night, when Sweetie Pie got home before me, he rented a jack hammer from The Home Depot, broke out the cement, unscrewed the pipes under the sink, emptied everything in it.

Even better? He even cleaned my sink.

And when he asked me what I'd done and I tried to explain it to him, he somehow wasn't impressed. He also didn't think it was funny as I giggled the entire time, telling him about how I'd forgotten about it and that baking soda and vinegar combined turns into concrete when it dries.

My favorite part of last night though? Is Sweetie Pie rolling off of me and saying "consider yourself inseminated."

You got to love a man who understands the sole purpose of doing it these days.

Love,

Catwoman.

17 comments:

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Consider yourself inseminated? I will never be able to look at him the same way...just ever again! Way to put out SP. Like he didn't dig the Humpty Dance just as much as you did, the ass.

What is it with hair loss? Cause I've taken to combing my hair out outside these days, as I just grab chunks everyday as I brush & being me, throw it on the floor, thereby creating more work. If I do my shedding outside I don't have to worry about sweeping it up later...or seeing it in the spiders webs...the ones who live in my BR.

Morgan Leigh said...

i've been losing my hair too. i just don't understand it.

maybe we should all get preggers again and it would stop?

:-)

oh, and 'consider yourself inseminated'? atleast it's halfway intelligent.

AndreAnna said...

It's like a running joke that my hair is everywhere. Are you blond? We tend to shed more hair per day. Weird. It gets kinda nasty.

The baking soda and vinegar thing works to clean stains from coffee pots too!

And I definitely have to tell my husband about the inseminated comment. I'm sure he will use it.

Anonymous said...

Used to shed bucket loads of hair until i got it cut v.short!! Used to love unblocking shower drain - NOT!

Got a book with all kinds of cleaning uses for baking soda and white vinegar, haven't tried any of them yet - good for you for at least trying.

ohio blue eyes said...

he's a sweet talker, that one!
and good for you, being all green & naturey...sorta!

random_mommy said...

Oh. My.

Husband has uttered those exact words. Are we living in alternate universes?

Haphazardkat said...

*snort* consider yourself inseminated! Did he run a rag over your headlights and pat your bumper before passing gas and falling into a snoring stupor?
*ahhh the expressions of man love*

speaking of...i snuck over here from Slicks site. lol

Julie said...

And who says Sweetie Pie isn't romantic! : )

MartiniGal said...

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! SP is such a romantic!!!

Blue Momma said...

Let's just hope he's a man of his word! July 08 babies for us both hopefully.

Around here it's usually me making the romantic statements like Ok, its that time. Come do me.

Two years of pregnancy attempts tends to sap the romance out of things. At my house anyway.....

Good thing I'm a late commenter. No one wants to hear me whine I'm sure.

Rachel said...

My hair? Is exactly the same way. It took me about 3 or 4 months to clog the bathroom drain. The sink is so damn slow though. I just haven't messed with it.

How sweet of SP to inseminate you.

lorraina said...

Hair loss - probably perfectly normal. As long as it dosn't get into the food. Ewww, thats my biggest creep out. Can't eat after seeing that!

I'm a Mom!..? said...

I lose hair like a mad women too, mine ends up down the shower drain though. If I'm not in a hurry, I try to collect it to help with the clogging, only then it looks like a small hamster has taken up residence on the soap dish. Hubby doesn't understand that can literally be from one shampooing....

That Chick Over There said...

BAHAHAHAAHA!!!

Also? It took me approximately 11 minutes to clog my shower. Drano is my BFF.

elasticwaistbandlady said...

First of all, I know that chick listed above me from another Canadian person's blog. Weird how incestuous bloggy circles are.

I live in Texas, too. My theory is that it's so freakin hot here that we shed like animals losing their fur coat to accommodate intense heat.

I have four girls. We plug the vacuum up with colossal hairballs every time it tries to cut a path across the carpet. I'm thinking we should just start our own hair jewelry business like people in Victorian times.

Kellie said...

For someone who has fine, somewhat thin hair, I seem to shed three pounds of it a day. I clogged the sink in my bathroom in two months.

I found your unclogging story rather entertaining. I'm fun like that.

Sweetie Pie's comment? KILLING me. :)

Susan said...

Sweetie Pie fixed & cleaned the sink & knocked you up (w/tude!)?! Awesome.