Confession #984: I have a lot of hair.
Also? I seem to lose a lot of hair. You'll find my hair in all sorts of places. On furniture, on the floor, in Little Man's mouth, but the favorite place for my hair to hang out after it's escaped the clutches of my scalp is the drain of my sink.
I can't really explain to you how it happens. I don't exactly brush my hair and then shove the hair ball down the sink. I'm guessing that when I go to rinse my mouth, clumps of hair jump off and scurry into the drain to escape. My sink is one big hairy Prison Break episode.
When we moved into our new house two years ago, it took me exactly three months to clog my sink. Some would argue that since I'd had a baby during that time, I was losing hair at a faster rate, so that kind of excuses things.
During the past few weeks, my drain has gotten to be so slow, that when I go to clean my sink, the backed up water immediately dirties it again, because the gunked up make up and toothpaste have no where to go but back on the porcelain they just were.
I was reading American Baby magazine this past weekend and in it they had this brilliant solution. Apparently, if you pour down your slow drain a 1/2 cup of baking soda and then a 1/2 cup of white vinegar, wait half an hour and then pour two quarts of boiling water on top, your drain will be unclogged, and mother nature will love you a little more than if you used evil Drano.
And since I'm from Canada where we care about the environment, I wanted to give this a try.
I put the baking soda in the drain, but since the thing is pretty much clogged, the powder wouldn't really go anywhere, so I tried to push as much of it down the crack under the sink plugger thingie, which might have compressed the baking soda into the consistency of a brick, just maybe.
Then, I poured the half cup of white vinegar, which Albertsons claimed expired in September 2006, which leads me to ask, it's vinegar, how the hell does it expire, when all it is, really, is bad wine. When I poured the vinegar in, a bubbling action happened. This made me really, really excited, because obviously, it was working, and the world would be a better place. The Chilean Sea Bass population would be overjoyed and sharks would quit eating people for entertainment.
Only thing is, that I tend to forget things if I don't put timers. Like when I put Little Man in time out, if I don't put a timer reminding me to get him two minutes later, there's a good chance that he will stay on that step until next January. And that night, I forgot to set a timer on 30 minutes to let me know when it was time to boil the water.
So four hours later, I go to brush my teeth and in my sink is what looks to be plaster. And I'm confused by this at first. And then I remember. So I go to boil water, but it's late, and I'm tired and after brushing my teeth, the kettle still hasn't whistled, but I figure that it's good enough. So I pour water that's a higher temperature than lukewarm in my sink.
And instead of slowly pouring down the drain, the water sits there.
The next morning, when I get up, the now cold water is still sitting in the sink.
Apparently? The green remedy, didn't quite work, since I didn't follow the instructions to the letter. Instead of clearing my sink, it kind of clogged it completely.
So last night, when Sweetie Pie got home before me, he rented a jack hammer from The Home Depot, broke out the cement, unscrewed the pipes under the sink, emptied everything in it.
Even better? He even cleaned my sink.
And when he asked me what I'd done and I tried to explain it to him, he somehow wasn't impressed. He also didn't think it was funny as I giggled the entire time, telling him about how I'd forgotten about it and that baking soda and vinegar combined turns into concrete when it dries.
My favorite part of last night though? Is Sweetie Pie rolling off of me and saying "consider yourself inseminated."
You got to love a man who understands the sole purpose of doing it these days.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Confession #984: I have a lot of hair.