Tuesday, September 04, 2007

In Case You Needed More Proof That My Mother Is Insane

So Little Man's party went really well. He had an absolute blast, was actually sociable with all of his friends, swam in the pool without freaking out, and was really into opening his presents and then had a blast playing with as many of them as possible on Monday, sometimes playing with two or more at the same time, because there were so many new toys and he only has two hands and the toys? They must be played with.

And so as we were winding down from the party, it was 8:50 p.m. and Little Man was brushing his teeth, the start to the bedtime routine. All of a sudden, our home phone rings and it's my parents number on the call display. I answer it and my mom is hysterical. She starts this tearful speech of Finally! You answered the phone!

And proceeds to tell me how cruel we are, not answering the phone when she's desperately wanting to talk to her grandson on his birthday! And how they've tried us at home, and on each one of our cells and we don't answer any of them.

I tell her I don't know what she's talking about, but my call display on my cell did not show them calling.

That launches her into a "are you calling me a liar?" speech, which I interrupt by telling her that I am saying that I would never say that, but that my call display didn't show any missed calls.

Then I tell her that I don't know when she called, but that we've been home almost all day, except for 45 minutes in the morning when we took Little Man to the park, and then from 3:30 on for his party, which she knew what time it was at, since I sent her an invitation.

And that pisses her off again. She tell me that yes, she did receive an invitation but that she didn't want to call before the party, because I'd be angry at her because I'd be busy with the party.

Seriously? I would have been pissed at her for calling to wish him a happy birthday? Not if she'd called at nine in the morning. I had no freaking idea that I'm this tyrant.

During her rant about how she didn't understand how I could do this to her after everything she's done for us (no idea what this is referring to. My only guess would be that they drove down to join us on our family vacation, which I invited them to but they were far from obligated), I keep interrupting her to tell her "do you want to speak to him? He's right here," but of course, in martyr mode, she can't hear anything but the sound of her own voice.

After my repeating that Little Man is right here and would she like to speak to him or not, she finally stops long enough to say she'd like to.

After the phone call, I'm really upset. The day has pretty much been ruined for me and of course, I look at our phone's call display, and my parents had called, but twice. Not six times like my mother claimed. Once was at 6:50 p.m. Which with the party ending at 7 p.m. and it not being at home, we simply couldn't have been there for. The second time was at 7:20, when we were still packing up all the decorations, gifts, etc. to make our way home. Once again, kind of not home, so couldn't get to the home phone, you know?

She also called Sweetie Pie's cell phone once, also during the party or right after, but he didn't have it with him, since it was a pool party and all and well, he doesn't like to submerge his cell phone, he's wacky like that.

The next day, I called my sisters to find out what the H-E-double hockey stick that was all about, and they told me that they told our mother she was being psycho.

And then? My sisters? Told me how my dad and one of my sisters went golfing in the morning, and my mom decided to wait until they were back to call Little Man for his birthday.

When she realized how late it was and we didn't answer? She assumed that I was really angry with her for not calling sooner and was refusing to answer the phones.

So really, because she felt bad for not calling sooner, she turned it around and made this all about me and how evil I am, when really, I was just at my fucking child's party.

The best part? Is I couldn't care less whether they called or not. Because my son? He's two years old. He doesn't even understand that it's his birthday or what it means. And he couldn't give a rat's ass whether anyone called him or not.

So really? Even if my mother hadn't called at all? I wouldn't have been upset.

But her calling me and making me out to be this horrible person, that, however, really did piss me off.



Morgan Leigh said...

I don't blame you. I would've been upset too.

Sometimes, all mothers? Are psycho.

jesse said...

Mothers are good at turning things around and just think one day we could possibly end up the same way--oooo scary.

Julie said...

Eee gads! You are damned if you do and damned if you don't aren't you?

I'm glad Little Man's party went well. How was the luau food? WIll there be pictures? : )

Anonymous said...

Ouch. But, you didn't do anything wrong, so go to Target and feel better about it.

Hapy Birthday, Little Man!! Pictures? Please? Soon?

Rachel said...

Um, yeah, psycho.

Poor Little Man and Sweetie Pie. You'll probably be just like her.

Teehee, kidding. Please don't hate me.

My word verification was vjilna!! Lmao!

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

So, take Vonage off the phone, delete all plans that allow you to cheaply call to Canadia & let your mom to hang with some mounties & a few moose to cool her jets. She sounds like a major drama queen? Seriously, it's not like she is in a different time zone & can' pick the phone up to call her only grandson. Women under the influence of menopause should be herded up like cattle and taken to Fiji or somewhere until their hormones fizzle out. My mom was watching tv the other day when they said women who get their lady parts removed suffer from demensia & memory loss...so, being the major bitchy daughter I am, I said, "So that's what's wrong with you, huh?" I am going to spend ages in purgatory, I swear!

Beccy said...

Your mother certainly sounds like she was trying to pre-empt her guilt onto you.

Glad the party was a success.

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Depending on where your parents live, it may be a really good thing your blog isn't titled, "Canadian thoughts in Canada." THANK GOODNESS FOR SOME REAL ESTATE BETWEEN YOU GUYS!

I'm already worried that my kids will marry people who don't love me. Is that possible? Doesn't everybody love me? Have I turned your difficult situation around and made it about me? (sigh)

Sorry it took away from a special day for you :(

Susan said...

*big hugs*
Also, so sorry we were at the party for such a short time. I was feeling ill (what's new w/that?) & on top of that our monster was losing it. Terrible 2's are not a joke.
Love ya! Let's have a playdate soon to make up for it!

M said...

a: I want pics of the party.

b: I'm sorry my mom turned temporarily sane just in time for yours to whack the hell out. I wish I had good mom advice but I just have to ride the waves of crazy and enjoy the plus and plug my ears for the minus.

c: i'll cut her.

d: my word verification is sbtvvg which i decided = sonofa bitch tv very good. so there you go. ignore your mom. watch tv. works better any time.

random_mommy said...

why are mothers so f'ing crazy?

PLEASE call her out so she knows that her little manipulative plan backfired.

AndreAnna said...

Awww, you poor thing. I'm sorry your mom went three kinds of crazy on you on LMs birthday.

I hope when you remember the day, you conveniently leave this part out of the memory.

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Happy Birthday to Little Man!

and many Blessings to you !

Blue Momma said...

I'm sorry, but is your Mom my Mother in Law?

Does that make us related by marriage?

And if so, where's my freakin' party invitation?

And whoot! whoot! Your's is the first blog I've been able to pull up all day without the old comp locking up. I knew you were special....

Slick said...

Some parents need to be taught a lesson in humility and stuff.

I don't know why I chose humility...but it sounds good.

You did everything by the book...I think you hit the nail on the head. She's just trying to get rid of her own guilty feelings.