Monday, September 17, 2007

I Swear I Didn't Say That

If you don't know what I do for a living, I can summarize it like this: I'm a putter of foot in mouth.

Most people don't know that it's a career choice, but I must tell you, it's a highly stressful one, what with the amount of blushing that's involved in it, which surely causes a rise in my blood pressure and increases my risks of croaking before my target age of 99.

This past week? My office was going to greet the returning troops at the airport. And although I'm against war of any kind, especially this one, I am in full support of our troops. Because they're someone's sons and daughters. And it's because I'm 100 percent for our troops that I want them home now. Where they can be safe. And be with their wives, husbands, kids, moms, dads, brothers, sisters and friends. That's what our troops deserve.

Sorry. I'm off the soap box now. So when my company got a bus together to go cheer on the returning soldiers, I cleared my calendar and planned on being there without a moment hesitation. And I made one of my coworkers who's single sign up too, so that I could find her a husband in the process.

Now, anyone who's read two words of my blog knows that I'm Canadian. So sometimes? I don't know US terminology for stuff.

And so when I told my boss I'd be out for a few hours, I told him that I'd be going to help the U.F.O.'s.

My boss? Was a little confused. And also thought I might be a little bit of a kook who thinks that aliens could land at any time.

For the record, to save any of you the embarrassement, the organization that greets the troops and does good deeds for them? It's called the USO. No need to thank me, that's why I'm here.

And then two days later, my boss was asking me about Little Man's doctor's appointment for his limp. I told him that they drew blood and everything came back normal and that the doctor said to give him Midol for a few days.

My boss? He has three daughters and a wife. So he's very aware of what Midol is for.

My coworker, over hearing this burst out laughing and said "I think she means Motrin."

Right. Which I did.

So all I could do was tell my boss "I'm pretty sure I have not given Little Man midol. But now that I think about it, he has thrown way fewer temper tantrums. And he seems a lot less bloated."




Rachel said...

Canadians. Gah.

CPA Mom said...

What does it say about me that I knew immediately what you meant? well, I work closely with our branch of the USO here so that is probably why, but still....Midol/motrin, who cares as long as it works, right?!

my minivan is faster than yours said...

This is the funniest friggin post! (FYI "friggin" is a code word meaning aliens with premenstrual cramps may invade the armed forces at any given moment!)


Anonymous said...

Totally cracked me up. Which made Morgan shriek with laughter. I have proof. I can e-mail it to you.


Julie said...

Maybe the UFOs could help end the war - you might be on to something!

Blue Momma said...

I think the UFOs are at the white house, not the airport!

And why was BlogLines trying to deprive me of you all morning? I had to find this post on my own.

I think I'm giving up on feed readers. Unless someone has a suggestion on one that actually works most of the time....

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

I mean this in the "I love you a tons" kind of way, but geez! Woman you can sometimes be such a ditzy Canadian! So, you cancelled our lunch plans to hang with UFO freaks? Talk to the hand! I can only imagine the new boobs Little Man's gonna grow!

Beccy said...

Ahhh I'm not American and I'm lost...the only thing I understand here is UFO, not USO, Midol or Motrin!

Emma in Canada said...

I was thinking I had to brush up on my Canadian terminology until I read that you actually meant USO. I spent a good minute trying to figure out what UFO could mean to us, other than the obvious. Couldn't think of a thing.

Morgan Leigh said...

you are too funny. midol? ha. that's great. think i'll try it with my kids. although, i use pamprin. maybe it'll work the same?

jesse said...

HOw funny and I can imagine the look on your boss's face. But hey if Midol works go for it. Come to think of it monkey has been a little pissy lately maybe I should try it.

That Chick Over There said...

Okay, I KNOW I commented on this yesterday. Gah!

M said...

Dammit it ate my comment too! Though really my comment was just a lot of howling and giggling and calling you my hero and shit.