Wednesday, September 05, 2007

I Don't Know This Murphy Guy And I Don't Know Why He Hates Me

So I like to think that I follow the law as much as I can. I try not to rob stores at gun point, or drive with a bottle of Miller Chill between my knees. I also avoid starting brawls in clubs and selling crack to elementary school children. I do none of these things for two reasons: one, desite what people might think, I do like to do the right thing. And two, I'm not from here, and I'm not yet a citizen, and I can be deported for commiting a crime. Which would suck, what with me having a toddler, cat and husband here and all.

And because I'm such a law-abiding citizen, I believe in following all laws and that includes Murphy's Laws. Which there are many, many for me to follow, including if there's a one single one millimeter crack on a sidewalk one mile long, I will trip over it and fall into a dumpster 30 feet away.

I think I might have mentioned on this blog at some point that my Jeep Liberty's lease was coming to an end and that I was stressing over what I was going to get next and how we'd be able to afford it. And if I didn't? Well, you didn't miss much, because instead of me writing a long rambly post about it, you just got to read two and-a-half lines about it. You're welcome.

Two weeks ago, I had Sweetie Pie call the bank that we lease the Jeep from to find out what they were willing to sell it to us for. Because even though it's a five-year old vehicle, I know it's complete history, that it got oil changes roughly every 4,200 miles, because 3,000 miles is just too damn hard to do, and also that it's hit roughly 3,294 curbs and eight senior citizens.

Who knows that much about any used car they buy?

And the car has never had any mechanical problems, so really, I figured let's keep it for another year or two, have a 50 dollar less monthly payment on it, and hopefully we'll have more money in a year or two and can afford the Rolls-Royce or Lamborghini I want. Because really, I don't need something fancy. Just something that will look really good on my Facebook profile.

So last week, Sweetie Pie filled out all of the paperwork, we took his bonus check and signed it over to the bank and financed the rest. This weekend, I checked and the deposit check hadn't cleared yet, so I knew it would clear yesterday.

Yesterday morning, I load up a very cranky and overtired two year-old who's suddenly taken to screaming "DAAAAA-DYYYYY!!!! MOOOOOMMMMMYYYY!" at three in the morning and then sings to himself in our bed while we tell him to shut the fuck up, very lovingly, of course, for two hours. As I start the Jeep Liberty to back out of the driveway, I notice that the engine light is on.

This has never happened in the four years I've had the vehicle. Since I didn't have my cell phone with me to call Sweetie Pie and have him reassure me that my car was not, in fact, about to blow up, I spent the whole 25 minute drive being paranoid and convinced that I was smelling smoke, and then melted plastic, and then burning flesh. Also, I'm pretty sure that I smelled dog farts, but surely that can't be related to the engine light.

I brought the vehicle to have a diagnostics test run on it, and ends up? That they need to build me a brand new car. Apparently, things that are wrong with the jeep include a faulty leak detection pump (like I need to know about my truck's leakage, pfff!), the evaporative hose is done, and it needs four new ball joints (which really, my Liberty's single right now, so that can probably wait). It also suffers from body image issues and the inability to make friends besides curbs and concrete posts, but apparently the detection test didn't catch that.

The grand total? 895 dollars. One of Sweetie Pie's employees works on cars in his spare time, so hopefully we can get him to do some if not all of it, which will save us money.

After I got off the phone with the mechanic, I went online and wouldn't you know it, the check has cleared.

And that would be Murphy's Law at its finest.




Emma in Canada said...

I would know it, because that too is my life. That's why I like you so much.

Kellie said...

I had an '03 Liberty Limited and LOVED it. Traded it a year ago for my Envoy and STILL miss my Jeep :(

Murphy's Law screws us all. Sorry about the big ouch on repairing it. I know how much that stings given I just sunk $800 into my Envoy a few months ago.

You? Crack me up something fierce. With the "we tell him to shut the fuck up" and the beinv convinced you're smelling smoke, burning plastic and flesh.

I think we were separated at birth...or something.

ohio blue eyes said...

smells of dog farts? thats NEVER good!

shizzzzzz, sorry 'bout the car expense...hopefully you'll have some other good news to upside it all!?

AndreAnna said...

I have a saying: "If it can happen to anyone, it will happen to me.":

Guess I found my Canadian doppleganger.

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Personally I would probably only let the irony of all of this fester for a month or six. I wouldn't let it go until an even bigger problem arose.

But that's just me.

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Holy, hell. And, (shakes fist) damn you Murphy. Good luck. I'll come by tonight & sprinkle holy water on it for you, if you want.

But, in reference to your cat: that poor baby looks like it was the thing your car burned...considering the odd patchy hair she's got.

Morgan Leigh said...

oh no! pfft. that's crappy.

That Chick Over There said...

"That's a pisser!" exclaimed the girl who has had to replace her washer/dryer, stove, and fridge in the last eight months and now has a dead computer and can totally feel your pain.

Julie said...

Talk about Murphy - he hates me too. I just bought an ipod Nano (it arrived via mail yesterday) and today they come out iwth a new Nano - bigger GB for less money. Ho hum.

jesse said...

Damn that Murphy; hope everything gets better for you.

Rachel said...

I would hope you wouldn't be driving with a Miller Chill between your knees!!!!

Shit. It could spill if you hit the brakes too hard.

random_mommy said...

Only you Catwoman, ONLY YOU!

What is LM gonna be for Halloween? I'm thinking I'll coordinate the Buddha. Maybe they could be little gay men? No?

Beccy said...

Ouch that hurt, That Murphy needs to be hung drawn and quartered...along with his law.

CPA Mom said...

Glad to know it's not just me. Man, that is a steep car bill.