Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Signs Your Burberry Purse Might Be a Fake

1. It was bought from a little Chinese woman who accosted you as soon as you got off the subway.

2. You had to follow said woman at a speed nearing 10 miles an hour by foot through many dripping alleys.

3. You then had to walk up six flights of stairs in a building with no air conditioning but plenty of urban art/graffiti on the walls.

4. You are convinced that you are about to be raped and killed in the process, but hope that the cops take your corpse's picture with the purse, so your friends can be impressed by how authentic it looks.

5. Huffing and puffing, you are taken into a small locked room in the back of a sweat shop, where hundreds of gorgeous and cheap replica purses and sunglasses appear.

6. You pay 24 dollars for a small purse that retails for $325 at Sak's Fifth Avenue.

7. When you get back to your hotel room, and you open your new Burberry Purse, the protective bag tucked inside of it says "Gucci" on it.

On a totally separate note, if anyone knows where my Aunt Flo went, please tell her that she'd better either show up soon, or at least give my urine the courtesy of making a second pink line appear, because she should have been here yesterday and nothing, and yet no pink lines either.




NeUrOtIc CuRb ChEcKiNg SuV dRiVeR said...

Hmm....vacay baby? That sounds like a plan. Keep checking. That second pink line may appear at any point, or you may be lucky & avoid Flo for a few more days.

If you think it hard enough, your new purse may appear to be real.

Emma in Canada said...

I'm assuming your Aunt Flo has ran away with my Aunt Flo....

Anonymous said...

My Aunt is MIA, too. But, I KNOW it's not for baby reasons :)

I'd walk through dripping alleys and be worried I may be raped for a purse, too :)

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

If in fact a second pink line does show up, the chances of your ever affording an authentic Burberry, zero. But it's okay, though. Old Navy, Saks, both fun places to shop :).

Keep us posted on AF!

Blue Momma said...

Welcome back Catwoman!

I missed you in a totally non stalker like way.

I keep getting the single line, too. Damn lazy sperm!

Loukia said...

Welcome back! :) Yay for your aunt Flo being late... I think that is a good sign! :)

Beccy said...

I'm learning the lingo and believe a purse is a handbag? A purse for us is a wallet for the girls! Sounds like a great purse, I got one in New York last year but it broke recently thank god I only paid $20 for it.

I wish my aunt flo would go...forever!

ohio blue eyes said...

AF was 4 days late for me, stupid bitch...

Slick said...

What the hell is a Burberry Purse anyway? Geezus women have too much crap.

Well, Aunt Flo is out buying you a present?? lol ;)

That Chick Over There said...

You can have my damn Aunt Flo. That whore won't go away.

Glad you are back! ;)

Sam said...

I haven't seen Aunt Flo for quite some time....being pregnant does seem to keep her away, lol.

Rachel said...

Ok, I think I am gonna have to stop reading blogs. This whole missing Aunt Flo business might be contagious!

So glad you're back!!

Um, can we please have a pic of this purse?