Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Only Child Syndrome

So it's looking less and less likely that I'll be pregnant this month, what with Sweetie Pie being gone during half of my prime ovulation period and Little Man doing everything he can to ensure that no conception could occur. They say abstinence is the only 100 percent proven birth control method, but I think having a toddler increases the odds of not getting pregnant even more than abstinence.

Today is our five-year anniversary. There will be no hanky panky tonight. I can guarantee you that. So instead, Sweetie Pie and I are meeting for "lunch" at our house and let's see if there's any remnant of an egg in there to fertilize.

But I'll tell you one thing, whether he wants one or not, Little Man needs a sibling. Because last night, he asked me to get back on that Hummer to play race car with him and when I said no to him, he tried to pull his car alongside him and eventually, he put his Ernie doll on the Hummer and asked Ernie to chase him. It was actually quite heartbreaking. And if I hadn't been enjoying a Miller Chill, I would have felt bad enough to get back on that Hummer. But we all know that you shouldn't drink and drive, even if it's just around your kitchen island.

Love,

Catwoman.

16 comments:

Kellie said...

Happy Anniversary!! Have a fantastic "lunch"!!

Very responsible of you to not drink and drive around the island. That would be setting a bad example for Little Man :)

AnGlOpHiLe FoOtBaLl FaNaTiC said...

Hope the nooner is all that & more. You never know. You could have produced lots of "I feel bad for Little Man's lack of sibling" hormones & become Fertile Mertyl.

Is this the "real" anniversary or the fake Vegas one?

And, I would have to say in all 8 of our anniversarys we opt for that bottle of wine. Which means, I get to drink 2/3 of it, so Hubby can drive home & am so rip-roaringly drunk I sing, dance the Debbie Gibson dance, and promptly pass out. I've NEVER had sex on an anniversary.

Julie said...

GOod luck at lunch - hopefully it's enjoyable!

And how responsible of you not to drink and drive. You might hit a bump (or counter) and spill your precious Miller Chill - so delicious.

Morgan Leigh said...

Hope your "lunch" goes well.

It is probably a good thing you didn't get on the hummer to race around the island, because your alchohol level may have been over .08 or whatever the legal limit is. And then? We would have to call the racing-around-the-kitchen-island-police. Not a good thing.

AndreAnna said...

Happy Anniversary - Mine is on Sunday. And there will be no nookie either. Damn vajayjay surgery ;(

And how sweet making Ernie chase him? My kid needs a sibling too - we'll start trying soon and I'm afraid I won't get pregnant as quickly as I did the first time and it will break me. I am truly hoping for you!!

Lori said...

Happy Anniversary and Happy **LUNCH**!

We have 2 boys 14 & 11. It took us 10 years to have our little guy but it was well worth the wait. Things happen when you least expect it or when it's meant to happen. Good Luck!

ohio blue eyes said...

Oh I do love me some lunch time sex! (minus the whole 'dripping' scenario later at work...)
have a good HARD one baby!

my minivan is faster than yours said...

Hope your lunch was better than mine. I had a can of baked beans. Not even the kind with bacon. Bummer.

Blue Momma said...

I sub'd at Aidan's MDO for the past two days.

That second child is seeming less and less desirable!

alissa said...

Happy five year anniversary!

Your only child story... heartbreaking. Dude needs a sibling. Hopefully he'll be nicer to him/her than Emma is to Michael.

Uhhh... what's a Miller Chill? I need to know!

Ms. Porter said...

A little afternoon delight!

Happy Anniversary.

Emma in Canada said...

Fuck and all I got to do today was work.

M said...

I love you and your child.

And hey! At least he's given you a GREAT suggestion for new child name! ERNIE! Perfect! Then there will be no confusion or anything WHEN a new creature invades! Just tell him it's Ernie. Boy or girl.

Oh yeah. Happy anniversary. I wrote happy birthday. Whatever. xo

CPA Mom said...

Yeah, that's why we had two kids. So we won't have to drink and drive. Absolutely.

Happy Anniversary! Hope you had a blast! *snicker* Yes, I am 12.

Rachel said...

Happy Anniversary!!! And, lmao at CPA Mom's comment!!

Very adult of you to not drink and drive. You have to teach LM these things early.

That Chick Over There said...

Happy Anniversary!
I'm late (commenting)!

Maybe you will be too soon!