Wednesday, August 01, 2007

My Free Ticket

So Julie kindly threw me a bone and asked me the following question: "if Sweetie Pie gave you a "free ticket" for a one night stand with a celeb - who would you use it on? "

That's a great question, Julie! (why am I speaking like I'm on some kids show where children send me questions like "why do my boogers taste slimy?" or "why does my dog like to lick his own butt?")

The answer right now? Because we all know that I'm fickle and that things change from hour to hour or week to week. Anderson Cooper.

Come on! Wouldn't you want him to give you that look too when you take off your bra?

And he'd probably whisper things to me like "you're wilder than Hurricane Katrina" or "you're hotter than a Baghdad Mosque under attack by the Shiites."

Could anyone be sexier than Anderson, or as I call him when I dream of him, AC.

Also? I think he'd give a mean foot rub. You can just tell when he talks, in the way he casually moves his forearms.

And, he's meanly funny. I've seen him on Regis and Kelly a couple of times when he was a guest co-host and buddy could totally make me swoon talking about the fact that Usher's ex-fiancee is a freak for wanting barbecue at her million-dollar wedding instead of some fancy schmancy chef, which caused Usher to break it off. Because we all know that not agreeing on the food at your wedding? That's like the most important decision you'll ever make and if you can't agree, then by golly, you shouldn't even be together. Some people think agreeing on politics or religion is important. But they're obviously morons. Because it's all about the food. Jury's still out on whether my marriage will survive, because Sweetie Pie still doesn't like sushi, when it's my number two favorite food.

Yeah, we're pretty much doomed, I know. But we're young, and in love, and we think we can make it work, so let us be.

And damn it. My husband has once again invaded one of my fantasy posts. Back to AC. I'm sure he loves sushi. And would lovingly hand feed it to me from his freshly-washed with antibacterial soap hands. And then he'd melt chocolate and he'd tell me how much my back fat turns him on.

Does that answer your question, Julie?




Susan said...

Sorry sweetie - AC is a mo. So keep on fantasizing (I do), but put someone else on your ticket. ;)

Julie said...

Excellent answer! His eyes are amazing aren't they? I've seen him on Reg as well (Reg, like we're good buds) and he is funny.

Rachel said...

I just love your answer!!! And, yes, I think he would like sushi.

And, your back fat.

Anonymous said...

You KILL me!!

AC IS a sexy bitch of a man. Love the eyes. I think he'd so mesmerized by your chest and eyes, he'd not see the backfat (of which? I'm sure there's none!!).

Lucky Gem said...

Anderson Cooper used to do Channel 1 news when I was in high school. Anybody know what that is? Anyway, I remember him from way back in 1994ish.

jesse said...

I love his eyes and I wouldn't mind those eyes piercing into me.

my minivan is faster than yours said...

This post, once again, proves we're actually the same person. You also I'm sure realize that George Clooney is better looking than Brad Pitt, right? PLEASE tell me you agree!

NeUrOtIc CuRb ChEcKiNg SuV dRiVeR said...

Oh, yes. That man is wicked sexy. And, you do realize, you would have the pleasure of telling people for the rest of your life you did IT with a Vanderbilt. How many people can claim that? You could use that to get great new duds...I mean it's not like you find his mom's brand at K-Mart. And, you could probably even use that to help Little Man get into Vanderbilt....can't you see the application? Little Man would write, "Well, my mom slept with Anderson Cooper, so you see even the Vanderbilt family thinks I should get in!"

Blue Momma said...

Ok, Anderson is hot, but since I don't have a penis I'll have to let him go.

I want Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He has to be in character as Spike, not just the real actor. He could bite me anytime.....

AndreAnna said...

I just came across your blog and this post now and OHMIGOD, do I have a chick boner for AC - have FOR YEARS!

And the fat that he's pretty much out of the closet does not deter me one bit!

I also have a thing for MacGuyver.

Maybe it's the hair?

I'm a Mom!..? said...

Very sexy man, too bad I don't have any room left on my "list" I forgot all about him.