Monday, August 13, 2007

I'm Baaaaaack!

Well hello, ducklings! Did you miss me? I missed you and your blogs and all your sweet babies' faces, your life stories, the way that you look up my skirt whenever I sit on the subway. Oh, that's not you, that would be that strange really large man in a really large fuschia tee. I don't know how I'd get the two of you confused. Although, we both know that you'd probably love to peek up my skirt to laugh at the granny panties I'm wearing right now, since all my cute ones are in a pile by the laundry room as we speak. Please don't alert the dirty panties thiefts of this, because my house is currently a goldmine.

So I have returned. And it has taken me this long to even have a chance to log in to blogger. Because would you believe that my workplace didn't close down while I was gone? What the hell? And people kept sending me emails. And they had questions and stuff. And work that they needed me to get done. And so 300 emails later, I'm more or less caught up and have 500 to-do's. Hurray for time off!

I'm not complaining, I was just relieved that my gate pass worked and I get paid on Wednesday.

So as many of my favorite bloggers have made popular, here is my quick bulleted list of trip highlights:

- Little Man does not like teenagers dressed like ginormous Sesame Street characters. In fact, he finds them quite horrifying, and most of our two days at Sesame Place were filled with cries of "NOOOOOO! ERNIE!!!! NOOOOOOOOO!" and screams of terror that resulted in a tornado in Brooklyn. Because we all know Little Man's fits can result in strange weather patterns.

- Philadelphia hates tourists. The proof is in the fact that they don't put any signs in their subways stations, so that poor luggage-loaded tourists end up going the wrong way. Twice. In one trip.

- My mother is still crazy. She refused to feed Little Man the Nutripals bars I'd left for him claiming that they had more sodium in one bar than a toddler, even an adult, should consume in an entire day. When I looked at the nutritional information when we got back to our hotel, the bar claimed it only had 85 mg of sodium, which it said was 4 percent of a toddler's salt daily allowance. When I told my mom this finding, she claimed 85 mg of sodium was way more than a day's worth of salt. My claims that a piece of cheese has more sodium and that on vacation days when Little Man only eats French fries that at least he gets some nutrition in him this way were met with an eye roll.

- Things I brought back from my three days alone with Sweetie Pie: a sweatshirt, a mug and a raging urinary tract infection.

- Number of nights Little Man slept in his hotel room crib, instead of in our bed: one.

- Number of fake Burberry purses I brought home: one. And I heart it more than anything else I own.

I'm sure I'll write a lot more about the trip over the next few days and I promise to post pictures when Sweetie Pie emails them to me since my piece of crap camera didn't work for most of the trip, so we relied on his Black Jack for pictures. Sigh...

Love,

Catwoman.

8 comments:

NeUrOtIc CuRb ChEcKiNg SuV dRiVeR said...

How many of those 300 emails were mine? Three or four?

Glad you are back chica. Sorry for the UTI & screaming child. Did you take the bus in Philly at all? I remember them being great. I'm jealous of the Burberry bag you bought at the NYC flagship store, you lucky gal : )

PS Don't tell my parents Sesame is a scary place. I'm trying to convince them to take us...cause we simply can't splurge on a trip without them.

Emma in Canada said...

I got my first ever UTI as well. At least I'm assuming that's what it is. It could just the after effects of some crazy hockey sex though.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh, and sorry to hear Little Man was not a fan of the giant Sesame characters. But at least he can say he's been to Philadelphia, home of Cold Case. Though I assume they actually film in L.A.

M said...

Thank frogs you're home!

UTI, screaming child, crazy mother and all!

And please tell your mother that

Children 1 to 3 years recommended 200-400 mg per day, upper limit 1,000 mg per day

Of course that's from a website about Australians but I'm guessing their suggested salt intake isn't much different than ours. Oh wait! Here's info from the UK stating 2g is okay for his age. That's 2000 mg. So you KNOW in the US he's probably allowed 40,000 (yes, 40 and 0 extra zeros) for our fat ass guidelines. So 84 mg? Don't even think about it!

Officially most bizarre comment I've ever left. I need to get out more.

BUT I'M REALLY FREAKING GLAD YOU'RE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.

M said...

okay. and in the interest of accuracy...to get salt qty from sodium evidently you have to multiply by 2.5 according to the uk site but whatever.

end point: mom crazy. you sane. you win. me? extra nuts with a side of nutty on the side.

Rachel said...

I am so glad you're back!!!! Cannot wait for pics and more details.

Yay for UTIs!

Kellie said...

Thank GOD you're back!! Since you've been gone? I haven't been able to muster the strength to go Target-ing!!

Seriously...glad you're back. Looking forward to more details and pictures!!

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

I've missed you more than anyone I have never met. I was starting to think you weren't really gone, and started entertaining conspiracy theories in my heads to explain your absence.

Oh, and I finally figured out how to log onto the Facebook account I started a million years ago and saw your smiling face there. Now if only I can figure out how to get back there...

Welcome home :)