Thursday, July 05, 2007

Things That Make Me Giggle

I've always said that I'm easily amused. But here are things that make me laugh today:

The fact that Al Gore's son, Al Gore III, was arrested going 100 miles per hour in his Prius. And found to have illegal drugs in the car. I don't know which is funnier. The fact that the dude was able to make a Prius go 100 miles an hour. I mean seriously? I thought only Porshes could go up that high. I think I've gotten my V6 Jeep Liberty up to 80 something once (before I had Little Man, of course), but I'm pretty sure that if I tried to push it to 100, the wheels would fall right off and the engine would jump through the windshield and bitch slap me.

The other part of this that makes me laugh really, really hard? Is the phone call from jail as I picture it in my head:

(2 a.m., Independence Day 2007. The Gore Residence. Al and Tipper are snoring on their recycled tire and glass mattress.)

Phone made of recycled tampons:Ring! Ring!
Al Gore: (half asleep) Hello? This is Al Gore, former future president of the US of A.
Al Gore III: Hey Dad! Uhm, what'cha doing?
AG: Just sleeping. Tried to get me some earlier, but your mom's still claiming that sex with me is what causes global warming.
AG III: Right, right. So uhm, anyway, you still excited about your big global music concert to save the Earth shinding?
AG: Absolutely! It's the light of my life! My reason for living! That and throwing darts at Floridians' heads for the whole hanging chad thing.
AG III: How many continents is it on again?
AG: All 7! I'm really excited about the bikini contest in Antartica that Ludicrous is going to host. That will be the nuclear bomb as you kids say.
AG III: So I'm guessing you've got lots of media appearances booked, eh? (Apparently, Al Gore's son spent a lot of time in Canada, which most people don't know)
AG: Oh yeah, I'm booked for 198 interviews during the next 72 hours! And I can spend every minute talking about the concert and saving the world. And also, why I finally decided to shave that beard of mine, despite adding three tons of hair to landfills in the process.
AG III: Well, uhm, daddy? Uhm, you might have something else to talk about...
Voice in Background: If you don't get off the phone, I'm making you my new girlfriend bitch!
AG: Where are you calling me from exactly? Are you at the White House again?

All I have to worry about? Is Little Man getting his leg stuck between the bars of his crib at night. And for that? I'm mighty, mighty grateful.

Oh, and I'm totally adding the Prius to my potential car list. Because those puppies? They're really freaking fast. And could get me to work in 12 minutes instead of 35, apparently.
Love,

Catwoman.

8 comments:

random_mommy said...

Seriously. You should quit this whole PR gig and join the cast of SNL.
Recycled tampons??!?! WTF? That's the most clever thing I've heard in a while!

P.S. I'm soooo bringing matching shirts for LM and Buddha next time. Nothing says queer little boy BFF like matching outfits!

Blue Momma said...

I'd love a Prius, but I'm afraid someone in a ginormous truck would run over me on the interstate! Plus, I have way to much junk in my car - it would never fit in a Prius.

Julie said...

You are definately going to have to try out for Last Comic Standing - you crack me up!

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

This is so friggin funny! I'm going to be cracking up next time I see a Prius! LOVE this post!!

That Chick Over There said...

SNORT

Also? My SUV can go 100 miles per hour.

Please do not ask me how I know this. Just take my word on it.

Lizarita said...

A Prius! snort snort!

Beccy said...

Don't give up the blog when you find fame and fortune with you humour!

M said...

Things that make me laugh today: you. So glad I'm catching up on the blogs I sucked keeping up with this week because you make me piss my pants and that's always a sign of good things!