Thursday, July 19, 2007

I'm Definitely Going Through Some Changes

Lately, I've been trying to decide if we do actually want a second child. I mean, I love Little Man to pieces, I don't think anyone who reads this blog regularly would doubt that (unless you guys are the bastards who keep calling Child Protective Services every time we send Little Man on beer runs). But sometimes? He can be a handful, what with the fork throwing incidents and the inconvenient fear of Elmo potties. Also, sometimes his feet get really, really stinky.

But the biggest doubt in my mind is that when I'm laying on the couch with him tickling him and he's squealing and laughing so hard that it makes my heart burst with happiness, I just can't imagine loving any other child as much as him. And I can't imagine ever making a child as gorgeous, loving, and perfect as him. Because with the gene pool we've got to offer? This one was a total fluke.

And then I come to work and see my coworker who's an only child, whose entire social life revolves around her parents and I think to myself "must give child siblings now so he doesn't become that!"

I talked about getting ready to have another child a few months ago. And I'll tell you, I tried for a month. And then nothing happened. My period came. And then Sweetie Pie mentioned the fact that as we're living paycheck to paycheck currently, how in the world would we find another 900 bucks a month for daycare for a second child. And that got me to thinking. And I shut down the uterus for business. Not for good, necessarily, just figured that maybe it was best to wait another year or so. And then I decided that since I wasn't sure about anything, it probably wasn't the right time to have another child.

And then the world flipped on the switch. The switch some call the biological clock. Or maybe it's that inside maternal voice that yearns to procreate.

Whatever it is, during the last few days, it seems to me that newborns? They're everywhere. I swear, they've totally infiltrated our country people. Here the government's been concerned about Mexico, when instead, they should have been concerned about the masses of blobs who can't even hold their own damn heads up and spit up for absolutely no reason.

And worst of all? Not only am I noticing this army of newborns, but I'm cooing at them, and my heart skips a beat at the sight of their microscopic socks. And quarter-inch long thumbs. And I've considered swallowing one whole, just because he was just the cutest freaking little bald baby ever.

So yesterday, as I walked through the mall with freshly bought hand weights with a coworker, I knew that what I really, really wanted to buy at that minute? Was another baby. And the fact that I have to wait three more weeks before I can even get (potentially) pregnant. And then wait another nine months before getting to hold that baby in my arm? Well, that just makes me want it even more.

My uterus is back on the market. And I'm pretty sure I've got a sperm donor in mind.

Love,

Catwoman.

14 comments:

ohio blue eyes said...

i keep going back and forth too...
DAILY, maybe even hourly.

the expenses with 2...lordy lordy. the drama with 2. the no sleep with 2. the no more drinking for 9 months...

but then there's the good. and i love the good. and i want TP to have a sister (or a brother if i have too...).

so tell me, are we going to conceive at the same time? do you store your man-gurt in dixie cups?

jesse said...

I was so worried about how things would be with a second one and now that I have two I can't imagine my life without either one. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be-ok sometimes but really not as bad. They both have different personalities some good and some bad but they are so precious. And as crazy as it sounds I would love to have one more but maybe I should settle for a puppy lol. My Nana did say then when our little ones get to be around 18 months they start to loose that baby smell that apparently only us moms notice and with the pharmones (sp) it makes us want another.

Holly said...

I've been seeing them all over, too. I'm so glad the dr said I can get going, cause I really want to hold that new baby boy....well, if it's a girl, man do we have a lot to sell at Divine Consign next year, eh?

M said...

Oh *heart heart fluffy hearts*

I'm glad your uterus is on the market. I swear it's the greatest thing ever. That sibling gig. (Even though I always planned just one and expected to have Josh snipped to avoid a 2nd and SOMEONE had another plan and slipped Lily in). Really it's remarkable. And I swear your heart just doubles in size. Possibly triples. Because you love child a. You love child b. Then you love them as a pair and it's just outrageous.

Even when the 2nd one is up every 1 1/2 hours for 3 days straight because infant growth spurts are HELL HELL HELL.

THere. That will give you some patience. Remembering the HELL of up every hour and a half. (Hey, it MIGHT help at least for a minute to keep you patient until you get yourself knocked up!)

CPA Mom said...

I've been seeing them all over the blogosphere too. A TON of bloggers are pregnant or just had babies. Which makes sense since the ones I read are mommy bloggers. Duh. Where was I?

We had all the same fears and doubts and our 2nd child fit right in and the money, it just works, day by day. Sure, there's a lot less of it (Daycare is highway robbery!) but it will work itself out. If waited until we could afford kids, we would never of HAD kids!

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

Do don't really need to worry about not loving the second child as much as the first, because as soon as you have two, you'll spend all day everyday loving one more than the other. Usually it's whoever is not throwing food on the floor. But sometimes I mix it up and only love the one with the clean diaper. Trust me. It's good to have choices :).

Keep us posted!

random_mommy said...

I like the blind leap method... where you don't put any thought into and just do it. It may be hard for a year or two, but come on! What's one year in the grand scheme of things?? We need you to continue to populate the earth with little French Texans. Who say things like "Oui Oui Little Missy."

Kellie said...

I'm afraid to have a 2nd child. Very, very afraid. But, I kinda sorta am pretty sure I want a 2nd one.

Happy Uterus Marketing--we can't wait to hear the future baby making stories. Oh...wait...that would be wrong :)

Michael said...

I originally didn't want any kids, my wife thought otherwise - she won (of course). I was happy with one but she had the EXACT same thought as you about our daughter being an only child later in life and so we had a second child. I love both of my children, but I love the first one more. I defy anyone to TRUTHFULLY say they love both (or all) of their children equally - because that person is either lying or doesn't love either as much as I love my oldest. I feel bad sometimes that I don't love the second child as much but you feel what you feel...

Rachel said...

Good luck to you guys!!! I really want another one too, but I know it's not a good time. It will probably be a couple of years before we even try.

And, trust me, you will love another just as much and he or she will be just as perfect. You may have a different bond with Little Man because he is your first born though.

Emma in Canada said...

I don't disagree with Michael...I think it's impossible to love all your kids equally. And I don't think that's a bad thing. But I don't think I could ever say I love one particular child more than any of the others all the time. They all have their moments of being my favourite. Some moments are more fleeting than others though!

alissa said...

I'm thinking I may have to disagree with both Emma & Michael. (Granted, while I don't know about michael, Emma's kids are older, she's got more of them, and she's been a mother far longer than I have... so she's got something on me, but..) At press time, I can honestly say that I love both my kids the same. Sure, sometimes one pisses me off more than the other, but all in all, it's usually my husband that pisses me off the most.

In any case... nothing beats two kids. And so close together in age? I say just go for it! Oh... but then, I suppose you have. Duh. That's what the whole post was about.

Beccy said...

Lack of money was certainly a decider in us not having a forth. The other three were wanted so badly that we said screw the money. We still live paycheck to paycheck but we have a wonderful family so it is very worthwhile.

Beccy said...

As for the loving them, I adore them all so much that I couldn't possibly love them any more therefore I feel i love them all equally. There are times when I feel closer to one than the others, I definitely understand Mollie better (whether that's because she's a girl or so like me in personality I don't know) and there are times when one or all of them drive me insane...but I wouldn't have it any other way.