Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Eight Facts About Me That Might Make You Decide You Don't Want to Know Me

So Loukia tagged me for this Meme, and although I've done it before, I'm having writer's blog and this is the perfect excuse for me to share more thrilling facts about me that will horrify you.

First, the rules:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

So here goes!

1. When I was 22, I once walked right into a tree because I was too busy watching my boobies bounce while I was walking. I'd never realized before that they did that and understood much better why men are fascinated by the hooters.

2. I was highly lactose intolerant until I got pregnant. Side effects included mucho farting and explosive diarrhea if I was really, really bad (like ate half a pint of ice cream). But when I was pregnant, I became cured and could eat a whole box of Mac and Cheese and have no issues. I ate an entire box of Kraft Mac & Cheese many, many times during my pregnancy just because I could.

3. I'm fiercely competitive, but only about really, really stupid stuff. At work, everyone knows that my boss will be retiring in two years, but I feel no inkling in competing for his job. In fact, I'm really not interested in the additional stress and responsibilities. I like my mid-level job just fine, thank you very much. But open up even the lamest board game around me, and my head will spin around 360 degrees and I will begin to belittle you and every muscle and brain cell in my body will make it its mission to crush you. I even once got overly competitive with coworkers at the Food Bank when we were volunteering for half a day to fill boxes for them. I became obsessed with filling as many boxes perfectly and quicker than anyone else with my partner, and I actually upset a couple of people with some of my nasty comments and my mocking them incessantly. But we all know only sissies fill boxes for the hungry slowly.

4. I had a mild freak out when I found out Little Man was going to be a boy. I'm one of three girls and my mom was one of three girls. The women in my family? They just don't make boys. And so I always knew that someday, I'd have three girls too. So when we had the sonogram, I figured it was kind of pointless, since I already knew what I was having. When the nurse told us that it was a boy, I told her she was wrong. We argued for a couple of minutes as she circled a certain part that made it clear that he was, in fact, all boy, and finally stopped arguing with her when Sweetie Pie asked me what the hell my problem was. On the way home, I realized that if I'd made one boy, the possibility was that I would make more boys. I turned to Sweetie Pie and said "what if we have three boys? Then what the hell am I going to do?" Now? I don't know what the hell I'd do with a girl.

Actually, I do. I'd buy her some really, really kick ass dresses. And barrettes. Lots and lots of barrettes. And I'd totally let her play with my make up. Even my good stuff from the MAC counter.

5. My mother drives me absolutely bonkers. I really, really hate the fact that I feel this way about her. She'll call me and not listen to anything I say. Or she'll call me five minutes before she's about to have dinner so that she needs to hang up as soon as it's my turn to speak. Or, like right now, she'll send me an email asking me a question about a two-line email I sent that had the answer in the two freaking lines I originally wrote. It's like come on woman, read the fucking email and listen to me talk! Or else, don't bother communicating with me.

6. My sisters are twins. I hated them the first 18 years of my life, because I always felt left out. They'd developed their own language as infants and would speak their alien language, point at me and laugh and laugh. Later, they'd gang up on me and beat me up, and when my mom would come down the hall yelling, they'd run to her and tell her that I was hitting them. Because they were younger than me, my mother believed them. They admitted to doing this over dinner two years ago and my mother was quite horrified. If I get lucky enough to have more kids, I will never automatically take the side of the youngest.

7. When I hear a story of a child that was sexually abused, all I can think of is that if someone did that to my child, I would kill the bastard. No second thought about it and no regrets. I don't have a violence tendency in me, but that? That I know would totally set me over the edge and I wouldn't care about going to prison for the rest of my life for it.

8. I have really, really weird fears like of being impaled, and having things (like a fork) jammed in my eyes. I obsessively worry about these things for Little Man too, and feel anxious every single meal, because I'm convinced he's going to impale himself on his fork or stick it in his eye. If I had it my way, he'd eat with his hands or with a rubber spoon for the rest of my life.

I'm supposed to tag eight people, but since I know most people have done this, feel free to do it yourself if you need blog fodder!!!

Also? Jesse nominated me for another award!

I was kind of born to receive this award, since it has Catwoman in it. So now I'm supposed to bestow this award on other people. And I'm going to take the easy route out. If you're in my blog roll, consider yourself awarded! Because I heart you all. And you are all deserving of a blogger award.

Now let's go stop world hunger and Tom Cruise, shall we?




Emma in Canada said...

My mother always sided with my brother, who was the youngest. I swore I wouldn't. But yeah, I so do with Taylor and Liam. Or did. I am learning that he is in fact, a bit of a pain in the ass and if he were my little brother? I would have beaten the shit out of him by now.

And it's Tuesday you know.

jesse said...

Ok #1 had me laughing because when I've jogged at the gym and look in the mirror I was thinking the exact same thing-which makes me want bigger boobs like a nice C. And then I get to #3 and seriously I'm the exact same way. My bf and I had a knock down wrestling match over Monopoly.

Holly said...

Let's go to BWs sometime & play trivia. I kick ass at trivia, and with you on board, damn we'd be a FORCE!! You & I have the same fear of impalement! How crazy is that. Having studied 14C history like nobody, I know LOTS about Vlad, so this is a serious fear. Maybe we'll take Tom out with impalement...

CPA Mom said...

"Let's stop world hunger and Tom Cruise.." seriously? Made me laugh.out.loud.

bummer, I'm not in your blog roll.

myminivanisfasterthanyours said...

I get all competitive like that when I play anyone in any video game from the 80's. Please don't get me started on Galaga. I KICK ASS!

Thanks for the award, which I graciously accept as a card-carrying member of Catwoman's blogroll!

Julie said...

Oh, I think you'd let a girl play with your MAC cosmetics about 2 times. It's not so funny after that when they are ruining your expensive stuff! : )

And I could barely get past fact number 1 I was laughing so hard.

I'd like to hear your take on Posh. I know you've got it in you!

Ms. Porter said...

i love your blog, you crack me up. oh you and i could really do some damage on the dance floor, better yet at a bad karaoke bar (aren't they all pretty bad?).

Kellie said...

You? KILL me!!

I did the boobie thing a few times. While pregnant, I had a nice set of D's. Was pretty impressive to watch the ta-ta's. Now? Not so much. The D's have left and I now have...well, we won't go there :)

ohio blue eyes said...


and dude, playing with the makeup? SO not cool when the try to eat your favorite powder brush from sephora...girlfriend can play all she wants with the lipsmackers though...have at it kid!

Rachel said...

When I read the title, I thought, hell, woman, we still like you after the whole "blackhead incident".

I would have impalement fears too. Clearly, Little Man throws a mean fork!

Beccy said...

Board games, card games any kind of game or tennis brings out the most competitive side in my mother. It taught me to be a good loser (actually having children did that as I vowed not to get upset like my mum did)!

I know what you mean about having a girl, my family only had girls so I was shocked when Dillon came out (in fact I asked them were they sure). By the time I had Mollie I felt so natural with boys that the girly bits frightened me a bit.