Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Not Quite Paris Hilton's Ego, But Getting Closer By the Day

Here are five reasons why I rock:

- Reason #1: I am one hell of a cook. On Saturday night, I made Sweetie Pie the following menu:

Cocktail Shrimp

Which I served with the shrimp hanging off a martini glass, I filled the glass with ice and stuck a little shot glass full of cocktail sauce in the middle. Yeah, it looked freaking awesome.

followed by:

Rib Eye Steak in a Merlot Sauce
with Scalloped potatoes

and to finish off the meal:
Heart-shaped molten chocolate lava cake with vanilla ice cream

- Reason #2: No matter how cool I think I am, I always manage to sell myself out and let my true nerdiness show. Like the fact that until yesterday, I thought that Yung Joc was a Vietnamese rapper.

But in my defense, if you're going to go and purposely spell English words incorrectly because a) you can't spell or b) you think it's cool, make sure that they don't end up being identical to very common Vietnamese names.

- Reason #3: I'm really, really good at my job. I'm not perfect by any means. I mean, I'm not detail oriented, and so stuff will get f'ed up. But the meat of it? The core of what I do? I'm so good at it, it comes out of my pores. I just need a place that's not too detailed oriented for me to shine. And luckily, I've found that in my current job.

- Reason #4: I can't wear mascara on my bottom lashes, because I always end up rubbing my eyes and looking like a raccoon. Since I don't look at myself in a mirror, ever, I can go 6 hours without realizing that I look ridiculous. I think this makes me charming and quirky, not one step closer to a straight jacket.

- Reason #5: I have the bladder of a camel. I drink more than 48 ounces of water while I'm at work. And yet, I only pee about two-three times while I'm here. Of course, should I get pregnant again, I will lose my bladderial super powers and become one of you humans who pees every 15 minutes when they drink this much water.

Yeah, it's good to be me.




Anonymous said...

Um, yeah...I want to be you when I get big. Maybe not so much on the mascara factor, but all the others makes you fanfreakin'tastic!!

Julie said...

i can't wear any eye makeup - for the same smearing reasons. that and I'm totally not coordinated enough to apply it.

jesse said...

That dinner you made sounds delicious!

Slick said...

Well, I didn't have to read the last 4 reasons because the number one reason had you instantly qualified to "rock"!

M said...

You so rock and a half. I'm in awe. I cannot wear mascara on my lower lashes only because my lower lashes are ridiculously long (meanwhile my uppers are stumpy) and if I put mascara on them I resemble tammy faye and no one needs that.

Additionally I am SO sneaking in and stealing your stuff for my kidfolks use when you aren't looking. I wonder what I can steal next. Hmm. I'm thinking your kid. Sounds good.

Rachel said...

Can you please stop by later and cook that dinner for me? It's only, like, an 8 hour drive...that's nothin!

random_mommy said...

hmmm... wining and dining the old man??? is there some baby making ensuing?

Ms. Porter said...

Hey, I made almost the same meal for my men (my hubs and Dad)except no merlot sauce...a couple of non drinkers in my family (not me of course). Do you think it has anything to do with the fact that we're both Canuks?
I WISH I could pee like you, I have tiny bladder syndrome I think cause I pee all the time...except when I'm pregnant and so dehydrated from vomitting that I hardly ever pee.