Friday, June 22, 2007

I Wann! I Wann!

Little Man totally has only child syndrome these days. He's still absolutely munchably adorable, what with his white man dancing, his adulation of Gwen Stefani music and his prowess at counting to three. But he can also be extremely irritating, claiming everything as his own, like some kind of toddler or something.

I can't be seen with anything around the house, because if I'm spotted by my just under three-foot tall tyrant, a chant of "MIIIIIIINE! MIIIIIIIINE! I wann! I wann!" begins.

The CIA has contacted me yesterday asking me to ship Little Man to Guantanamo Bay as their new torture device, and by torture, I mean fun and games, because of course we don't actually torture people, it's just a manner of speaking like the way gouging someone's eyes out is a loving term of endearment.

Because really? If I were a terrorist, and I had to listen to the incessant whining of a particularly stubborn 21-month old, I'd tell you anything you'd want, man. I'd even tell you things you don't want to know, like the size of my last bowel movement (although, I know that secretly? You really want to know that, since you keep coming here to read this crap. Oh, and to the person who came to this site by googling "calories burnt farting?", let me tell you this much: it's not that many, because I'm still not a size zero).

Love,

Catwoman.

8 comments:

Kellie said...

I'm still not a size zero, either :)

ohio blue eyes said...

oh sorry that was me that googled calories burnt while farting!
and im thinking about putting a daily update on my poo on my sidebar...just for fun you know.

jesse said...

LOL-yeah I'm not anywhere near a size 0 either.

That Chick Over There said...

Marry me.

Rachel said...

Alyssa is only 17 months and already starting the mine (pronounced mah) shit! Of course, it could be that she has two older sisters that ALWAYS say that!

Ms. Porter said...

haaaaaaa! So funny!

This stage will pass...and be followed by an equally...how should I say....interesting stage. Believe me, I've been there twice!

Now my francaise is tres tres rusty...but here goes, bonne a fete St-Jean...non? Happy St-Jean Baptiste day to you my grenuille blogger.

jempress said...

wow, that's something i never even thought of finding out. now i'm really curious - 10? 3.2?

when, oh when, will i see you and little man again? i'm hoping tomorrow.

Elle said...

I don't think I ever was a size zero. I have come to terms that that. I'd rather eat more than baking soda and a toothpick every day. LOL.