Friday, May 04, 2007

You Can Never Learn Enough About Me...

Because I'm full of myself, I've gone and requested more interview questions. Because I'm a freak like that!

But mostly because it's a great way for me to have something to blog about. So really, if anyone else has any questions they want to ask me, please, email me at Because that way? I'll have stuff to blog about and you might learn something interesting about me. OK, probably not on that last part.

Anyhoo... On to Elle's questions:

1. You are on a cruise and there is a shipwreck. You are stranded on a deserted island with no hope of rescue. The only other two survivors are two men. One is extremely handsome but rather stupid and clumsy. He doesn't have any talent other than smiling seductively at you. The other is smart and resourceful but very unfortunate looking. There is nothing remotely attractive about him. The two men argue and decide to divide the island in two. Which one do you go with and why?

Honestly, I think I'd tell them both to get lost and decide to get my own piece of island and visit whichever one irritates me less whenever I need to talk to someone. But more than likely, I'd just tame me a dolphin or a monkey or something and just chat with them instead. And if I'm not married in this scenario, I might hook up ever so often with hot guy. Because even on a deserted islands, there might be that time once or twice a year where I'm feeling frisky.

2. The Grim Reeper comes to your house, and tells you that you have one day left on this Earth. What do you decide to do with your day?

That is so hard! Stupid Grim Reaper! I hate that bastard. I totally need at least two weeks' notice or something. Otherwise, don't bother giving me any notice. I know this is going to sound really stupid, but I just want to watch Play With Me Sesame with Little Man with him sitting on my lap. And then I want to read him every book in his library twice. So that I can spend the entire time with my face buried in his hair, inhaling his sweet toddler boy smell. And then I'd just eat a whole ton of really, really high quality milk chocolate. Because I so don't care if my clothes are too tight in the casket. And also? I don't want to be dressed up in there. Because surely there's no dress code in heaven.

3. You are a contestant on Fear Factor. They give you the choice between eating deer testes covered in bile, or the intestines of a crocodile(including the contents within). Which plate do you choose and why?

First thing I'd do is cry and try to explain to the Joe what's his name that I've made a mistake and stepped onto the wrong set, because I'm supposed to be on Deal or No Deal, not Fear Factor.

But I guess between the two, I'd eat the deer testes, because intestines have poop in them. And that's just way more wrong than some balls.

4. If you could be a well renowned star, what would you be famous for?

I would totally be famous for saying something really, really stupid. Something that would be mocked for years and become part of VH1's "I love the 2000's" series.

Or else, I'd be famous for my general awesomness. Or for being Canadian.

5. If you could go back into time, and relive one moment over again... what would it be?

Man, that's a hard one... Elle, you ask really, really hard questions...

If it's to relive something to have the chance to change it, there's no doubt about it, the one thing I'd change is I'd get myself to the hospital on day one of suffering really bad pain the last week of my pregnancy. Because I didn't know I was dying and my stupid pain threshold totally let me down. And the one thing I wish I could change is waiting four days before going to the hospital.

If it's just to get to experience something all over again, I'd definitely would love to relive the first night Little Man was born. I know that's cliched. But I've never felt such a sense of awe than when I was laying in bed late at night, nurses checking on me every half hour and he was laying in his bassinette next to me. And then I asked a nurse if I could hold him. And she laughed and told me "he's your baby! of course you can hold him!" And then I timidly asked "what if I want to hold him all night?" And she grinned at me and said "girl, you can hold him for the rest of your life."

And I remember how amazing it felt to have him sleep on my chest the rest of the night, him so tiny and fragile, his little breaths the only sound I could hear. And just the adrenaline flowing through my body and the sense of excitement that holy crap! I'd created another human being!

I don't see any other memory in my entire life comparing to that night, my body filled with tubes, his little body, perfect in every single way.




Emma in Canada said...

Sob sob over number 5.

It was the bile that frightened me with the testes/instestines question. Though I live in Alberta, and really should I really be frightened by teeny tiny deer balls when prairie oysters are actually considered a delicacy here? Yuck.

beebop said...

#5, def. a tear-jerker. good answer, good answer!
id go for the balls as well, because who wants to eat shit?

ok, you have got to be kidding me...the verification word down below has like 6 q's, 7 z's and a p...HATE.

jesse said...

I love your answer to #2 and #5. If I knew I was going to die I would spend every last moment drinking them in. As for the Fear Factor I would have chickened out-I know weenie.

Kellie said...

I was giggling at most of the answers. The giggles got the boot as soon as I started reading #5...

I'm with you and would go with the deer nuts...gross, but better than eating poop :)

Elle said...

LOL great answers. Hey Emma, I live in Alberta too.

M said...

Ah hell. Lets sum up my lack of comments lately with a big sloppy hug and weepy kiss.

And cod being on I love the 2000's would rock my world. Please. If you do something idiotic enough to be featured? Figure it out in advance and bring me along.

alissa said...

Really... you'd eat the balls??!

Rachel said...

Ok, damn you and #5 for making me cry!

And, seriously, who's famous for being Canadian? I heart those VH1 shows!