Thursday, April 26, 2007

The Most Shocking Post Ever

That got your attention, didn't it?

And here's the kicker. It's not the most shocking post ever. If I were to rate them, I'd probably rate the one from Monday or even this one or this one.

I thought I also wrote a post once about sitting down while farting which meant that I got the equivalent of farting in my own face, but I'll be you-know-what if I can find the thing. I've literally gone through every month of every year and I cannot find the post. Maybe it's like the poop shaped like a penis post that I was convinced I wrote, but apparently I did it. Maybe I have a blog in my dreams where I write all this stuff and then in real life I think I've done it, but I haven't... because it was in my dream blog...

Are you still with me?

Anyway, the reason why I wrote this misleading title is that last night Ryan Seacrest called it the most shocking vote ever followed by a million exclamation marks.

And then of course, anyone who watches the show knows they did this lame "oh, it's charity week, we're not voting anyone out, haha!" But hey kids! Don't worry, while we convinced you to give your hard earned money while we charged corporate America lots of money to advertise on our show so we can each buy a new Ferrari, we also decided that we'd just add these votes to next week's vote.

Did they just not like the results this week?

And will you please quit saying that it's the most shocking thing ever? Because you know what would be shocking? Is Ryan telling us all why he made out with Susan from Desperate Housewives when most people think he's gay. Or if Paula admitted that she's taking way too many drugs and needs to get her butt in rehab. Or if Randy didn't use the word "dawg" during a whole show. Or even better, if someone from this year's cast actually made me want to root for them. Because really? If Little Man wasn't all up into this show and clapped after every pitiful performance which officially confirms to me that he inherited my tone deafness, I totally wouldn't be watching this year. Because there's surely got to be something more interesting on MTV, like white trash couples who are in grad 11 and getting married and who are getting their own trailer! Wheeeee!

Not that I judge or anything.




Kellie said...

You KILL me...Paula (or, as I call her: "Drunka") in rehab? Ryan NOT gay? Randy NOT saying "dawg"...good luck to you on that :)

I have yet to watch the show, but heard all about it. Not sure I want to watch it now!

Emma in Canada said...

You did write a penis shaped poop story. It was July 11, 2006.

The farting in your face? October 10, 2005.

Don't be scared. I'm not a stalker, apparently I have nothign better to do with my time. I used the little search blog button at the top.

Seriously, catwoman, it would save you hours.

Elle said...

LOL you definately have interesting muses my dear!! I don't watch Idol anymore though, so I wasn't there for the "most shocking" show on earth. LOL.

Rachel said...

I figured out what they were gonna do the 1st time Ryan said that. And, damn, could you please say it a few more freakin times during the show!

The Most Shocking Result ever has already happened plenty of times. I mean, jeez, how long was Sanjaya there?

M said...

I detest the results shows.

I refuse to watch them.

And I'm so indifferent to the show this year it hurts. But I do it. For the children. The oldest who also claps (and sings and dances along!)

Otherwise I'd turn it off (uh huh. yeah right)

But most shocking! and AFTER THE BREAK! They should both die a painful death in acid. With Mr Seacrest. He makes me twitch.