Monday, March 26, 2007

Well, I Blew It.

OK, first of all, I have to point out that I totally blew my own blog milestone. My post this morning was my 400th. 4-freaking-hundred people!

Do you realize that if I'd put to use all that time I spent blogging on working out instead, I'd probably look like Jennifer Aniston. Or maybe Gisele Budchen. And then I'd be dating Tom Brady, that freaking hot muffin of a man and all of you would be discussing whether or not I'm carrying his child.

But no, instead I got hooked on blogging. Which I guess is better than getting addicted to crack. Or to not wearing underwear, like Britney. Because not wearing underwear lands you in rehab nowadays. It also causes you to shave your head, although I can't scientifically explain why.

Either way, my point is that I'm a total man about this. I have been looking foward to my 400th post since early January. Not looking forward to it in a "wow, I wonder what lame ass thing I'm going to write!"

But in a when I hit that 400 milestone, then I'll officially be a blogger. Not of Dooce's caliber, of course. Because I don't know if I'll ever get to that level. Actually, I do know. I know that I won't ever get to that level. Because one, I like my secret identity. Only a few people I know actually know about this blog. And most of the people who read it now, don't know who I am.

Mind you, with my posting pictures of my son, I guess it'd be pretty easy for someone who knows me who stumbled on this site to figure out who I am. But isn't that true of all superheroes?

But back to my original point. This morning, I posted my 400th post. And what did I spend it on? Freaking whining, that's what!

Mind you, if you ask me (and you should, really) I totally deserved to be whining, because I have slept very poorly the last two nights. Which nothing makes me crankier than a bad night's sleep. So no one can relate better to poor M, because really, poor chick hasn't slept in probably weeks at this point, due to the selfishness of her unborn baby. To M I say that if she chose to murder someone for taking her parking spot at Target, I'd totally testify for her.

So why have I slept poorly for the past two nights? A variety of factors really. One, stress at work. Last week was pretty crazy, something I am no longer used to. Plus I think I was stressed about this business trip I'm now on, because it's the first time I'm leaving my Little Man for business.

And another reason is that I'm terrified I might be pregnant.

That's right you read it here first, people.

Call me the dumb ass high school girl who got her ass drunk and got caught up in the moment and didn't use protection.

And the next day, when I checked the ovulation calculator on, I discovered that the half bottle of wine on date night led to unprotected sex right smack in the ovulation window.

To which I say oh crap.

Because you might remember that we don't even know if I should even have a second baby, what with the tiny little incident with my first pregnancy where I almost died and all of that stuff. And I'm supposed to be making an appointment with a specialist to discuss my odds, the way serious gamblers in Vegas might discuss the virtues of betting on black versus red.

Then there's the fact that my Ob Gyn said that we'd cut the second baby out two weeks early, on week 38 should I get pregnant again, so that hopefull we'd get him/her out before anything went wrong. This would put the due date around late November, early December, exactly two weeks after my one-year anniversary with work. Which is the milestone I need to hit to get some kind of benefits during maternity leave.

So this baby really doesn't have a lot of room to come out any earlier than that.

So now I'm forced to wait another seven days before I can even test again.

And because I'm a complete fool, I did the whole unprotected stunt again on Saturday night. Three times.

I know, I'm totally sounding like Random Mommy right now, right? You're thinking to yourself that you must have misclicked to the wrong page. Because Catwoman doesn't have sex three times in one week. Let alone three times in one night.

But it was wine again. There's just something about it now. Sweetie Pie took me to this new wine bistrot by our house. It was great, I had two (BIG) glasses of wine.

Sweetie Pie now wants to take me back to that bistro every night.

I guess part of my dumb ass on Saturday figured that I was probably pregnant anyway, so what would be the point of ruining a perfectly good night with a smelly piece of rubber.

Yes, the logic of a teenager trapped in a 31 year-old woman's body.

But at least the way I look at it is that at least I'm married. We can afford to have this baby, since we have healthcare now. And that my doctor had told me that she'd monitor me very closely if I were to decide to get pregnant again. And she's very experienced.

And I think subconsciously, I figure that if I were to "accidentally" get pregnant, then I couldn't make the horrible decision not to have any more children. Because I'd forever feel like my family was incomplete.

And yes, I've talked about adopting. But with the waiting lists being what they are and my not being Angelina Jolie, I'd worry about no being a mom again for another 5 years and having two only kids, seven years apart, the way Sweetie Pie was with his sister.

So there you go. Consider this to be my 400th post. Because really, it encompasses better who I am. A dumb, dumb girl who loves her kid so much, she oh-so-desperately wants another him.

Even after this weekend where he spent the entire time screaming at me and rolling around.




random_mommy said...

holy jesus. the excitement just never ends with you!
can't wait to find out if you're knocked up!!!!!
and thanks for mentioning me... although lately, there has been little to no sex in my life!

Emma in Canada said...

3 times! Good god, that is very random momminess of you. I'm on my second scare in 2 months. Ah foolishness. There was no drink involved though.

Oh and congrats on the 400. And one.

Beccy said...

Three times in one night! Sweetie pie should give lessons on how to keep it up!

Looking forward to hearing the results and congratulations on post 400.

Gerbil said...

I totally am NOT showing this post to my husband, who really really wanted two more kids, but of course we had Pre-E and it scared hell out of him...

Seriously. Which one of us is the Evil twin, here?? (That would be me, no doubt)

Use the First Response. They're frighteningly accurate.

Julie said...

3 times in one night - that must be SOME wine bistro. Hopefully there is not one in my neck of the woods! : ) I can't wait to hear what happens when you test next. Oh, and congrats on post 400. I just hit 100 myself which seems to have taken forever - I can't imagine 400!

Alpha Dude 1.5 said...

Uh...congrats. I think.

Go eat some chocolate.
Always works for me.

random_mommy said...

the only thing i do three times in a row involves no penii.

M said...

So why is 400 the magic milestone?

And I appreciate you offering to testify for me in a murder case! I may have to take you up on it soon! You can have my pity because DUDE does no sleep suck ass (and to think...I get to sleep LESS soon? cod help me!)

Now. I shall stop giggling at your dumb ass high school girl w/o protection comment. I'm fairly certain that's how I described myself to my midwife when she asked what protection we'd been using "Oh, the good ol' high school it won't happen to me approach!" hardee har har.

Will be waiting impatiently with you another 7 days or so. Guess we shall see. I mean, technically the risk is low. Even if you went into high school bunny stage at a prime time. At least you've got great support system, a fab ob, and a real cool kid to big brother a new sibling folk if it comes to it! (And think! Then YOU will have excuses for murder in parking lots! WOOT!)


susan said...

Happy 400th! Happy lotsa sex! Hope you are knocked up and don't get HELLP. We need to hang out and not shop (cuz you know toysrus is doing the buy 1 get 1 free thing again!). ;)

That Chick Over There said...

Happy 400th post! Woot, woot!

Also? Three times? You are either my hero or I'm damning wine to hell. You pick.

Elle said...

Wow 400; that is a lot of musings!!

Well I hope the preg test comes out the way you want it too LOL. 3X in one night huh? That's a lot of sperm! Good luck in 7!

Rachel said...

Happy 400th! That's great! I loves me birth control! Although, I would be scared if I got pregnant right now, I would not be sad!

Hope things work out! Can't wait to hear!

random_mommy said...

susan is pure evil.

take some prenatal vitamins. just in case.

the suspense is killing me. 10 days past ovulation is the absolute soonest the early tests will work. i've done research.

Catwoman said...

Yes, I've figured out that next Monday would be the earliest a test might work, so I'll be stocking up this weekend!!!!

Catwoman said...
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Catwoman said...
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