Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I'm Just Not Sure Anymore...

So I know that I haven't been around. Well, that's a duh statement isn't it. If I didn't know that I wasn't around and thought that I've been blogging these past few days when I haven't, well, let's just say that more than likely my head would be shaved and I'd be in rehab smoking cigarettes and saying ya'll a lot while smacking gum.

I wasn't around because I had an excuse. I always have excuses for stuff really, but this time, I really did have one. And it was a good excuse. My sister was in town. Not just in town, she was in town with my 6-month old niece.

Trying to juggle the napping schedules of a six-month old with an 18-month old made me realize that this is why people should use birth control and not have children one year apart.

I love my niece very much. She cute as hell, smiles a lot, has an awesome laugh and has a head so round, we have to protect her from soccer players who try to kick the perfect roundness of it into nets.

Little Man actually did attempt to kick her in the head at one point. Luckily, he's a toddler with a very strong clumsy gene and he not only missed, but he landed flat on his ass. On a truck. And he now has lost one of his virginities and has probably more than learned that kicking isn't right.

When I returned to work from my mini-holiday this afternoon, everyone asked me what we did during this long weekend. And trying to tell people who don't have kids that all we managed to get done yesterday was visit my mother-in-law for half an hour and buy dog food.

To single people or young marrieds, this is the equivalent of accomplishing putting on one sock in one day. They don't understand. They look at me and I can see them pity the fact that I wasted a vacation day to do so little.

What they don't understand is that two women with two babies accomplishing this much, is the equivalent of the Egyptians building the pyramids. It's crazy and no one who truly understands engineering can fathom how it was done.

So to you moms reading this. Can you believe that we got all that done in one day? Yes, I will be writing a book sharing with you the secrets of my success.

But what the last few days have taught me is this. First, that I'm a really, really crappy big sister. Because as a sister, when you come to visit me with your infant and your plane gets delayed by over two hours so that you land at an ungodly 11:30 p.m. I will further extend your day by arriving at the wrong area of the terminal 20 minutes after you arrive. Leading you to believe that maybe you're at the wrong airport.

Because I rock like that.

But once I did pick up my sister and over-exhausted niece, I did do a great job at feeding them (well, my sister anyway, my niece is still breastfed and that never worked our for me with my own kid, so why would it now?) and showing them things like the model house in my neighborhood.

But four days of hanging out with a six-month old baby made me reconsider wanting another.

Do I really want to put myself through this again? The sleepless nights? The needing to be held all the time? The spitting up at really inappropriate times, like at someone else's mother-in-law's house? The screaming in the car seat during the entire 45-minute drive to the airport?

We've got it so good now. Little Man entertains himself so well, he's funny, and he's almost got down the recipe for the perfect mojito.

Am I really willing to ruin all of our lives and bring a purple creature with nail beds the size of a pin head that need to be cut all the time into our home again?

I don't remember things being that hard when Little Man was that size. But that's also because I didn't sleep for five months straight and hardly showered due to lack of time. I'm sure the stench that enveloped my body didn't let me realize how crappy my life really was.

But now, now, things are really really good.

So maybe it is worth it.

To go through all of this again. Only to experience the greatness that is the toddler years all over again.

But I'm not sure.

Ask me once all the spit up stains are out of my carpet.




Julie said...

I say if you are going to go for #2 do it soon. Our girls are 4 years apart - it was even harder at that point to go back to diapers, up at night, bottles, etc. But so worth it. To see them interact with each other is priceless.

Emma in Canada said...

But did you manage to shop other than buying dog food? That is the mark of a truly successful visit. Or is it only people that live next to West Edmonton Mall or the Mall of America that think that?

random_mommy said...

i think it's different when it's your own. hearing anyone's baby cry makes me cringe...

Kellie said...

I'm in the same boat as you. My daughter is 14 months old and I'm torn. Do I WANT another one? WHEN do I do it? CAN I do it? MY girl is SO easy going, put herself on a schedule, rarely cries, sleeps all night, entertains herself. It's a BIT easier to leave the house. So confused. Like I need help in THAT area!!

Gerbil said...

I have two that are two years apart... and then here's Jacob seventeen years later. I am tired more easily, but I know more now, so I think its an even trade.

Of course, lets not forget that when they're close in age, you get multiple TEENAGERS to contend with. Bwah-hah. Pass the advil.

random_mommy said...

i had the same thought, he's so easy and perfect... why rock the boat? and it's ok not to rock the boat. but in the end, i knew i wanted him to experience siblings, and i pictured xmas in 20 years... i want several coming home to see me.

M said...

I'm very impressed with all you got done. Of course in this house just getting one sock on is a freaking miracle!

I could overrun your comments with my opinion on the whole add another kid thing, you know, since here I am days from doing it once again.

I think it's something you just know though. If it's worth it or not. Then sometimes (like me!) you get told you're wrong and BLAMMO there's another just because some higher power thinks they know better than you. ;)

I'm not one of those "if you wait until the time is right it'll never be right" girls. I think you KNOW when the time is right to expand your family. And if you question it? It's not time to make that decision intentionally again. (Of course I always knew that 1 child was all I wanted so saying that is probably easier for me than others)

Thanks for reminding me about the damn finger nail issue. I'd forgotten all about it. Cod bless mitts. So WHAT if Liam looked ridiculous mobbing around in them at 3 months old. I was not about to chop off a freaking finger tip trying to wrestle a wormy squirmy kid with paper thin nails you needed a microscope to see!