Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Uh-Nee!

Little Man is in love. The kind of love that makes you weak in the knees and makes you smile the second the object of your affection's name even begins to cross your lips.

While most toddlers are in love with Elmo, my Little Man has realized that any infatuation with Elmo is doomed, because Elmo is a narcissist who calls himself in the third person and thinks that just because he's interested in jumping, you should listen to him talk to his goldfish for half an hour about how great jumping is. Little Man, despite his young age of 17 months, understands that you sleep Elmo and sneak off the next morning before he wakes up. You don't marry puppets like Elmo. You use them and lose them.

The kind of muppets you do fall in love with and talk incessantly about to your mother are orange, love animals, particularly the rubber kind and have moved out of their parents' home to move in with a roommate in a basement.

That muppet is Ernie. And Little Man is completely infatuated with him, calling out his name constantly.

It's all Jempress' fault, really. For Little Man's birthday, she gave him a Sesame Street toddler book, think of a Where's Waldo for toddlers, where the muppets do weird things on each page and you get to point out all the red things on the page, like the red fuzzy slippers on Bert's feet.

But Little Man couldn't care less about what's red or blue on each page. Screw that! Those activities are for the single and lonely!

Toddlers in love like himself only have one purpose: to find Ernie. And when he does, the chubby index finger is pointed, smacked down on the page with as much emphasis as possible and the head turns to me and I am told, over and over again "Uh-nee!"

Yes, I nod. That is Ernie.

"Uh-nee!"

And on to the next page.

We do this for about an hour each night before I proclaim it's time for bed. On the weekends, that book is used an average of three to four hours straight, until either Sweetie Pie or I go insane and try to tempt Little Man away from the Sesame Street book with chocolate cookies or cigarettes.

But that kind of dedication can't be broken with vices. Oh no. Little Man looks at us, shakes his head and proceeds to close the book to find Ernie on the cover.

I'm forced to feed this addiction by starting the Tivo in the morning with the latest episode of Play With Me Sesame and I pause it when the theme song gets to Ernie.

Then I go wake up my toddler and bring him down so that his whole face can light up and he can say "Uh-nee!" which, loosely translated means "Oh Ernie, love of my life, I've missed you for the 11 hours we were apart, even though my dreams were all about you and running hand in hand laughing through a meadow, let's never part again."

Who am I to get in the way of true love, especially the week of Valentine's Day.

Love,

Catwoman.

8 comments:

Julie said...

You know, there is a Sesame Place theme part on the east coast - in PA. I'm just saying if the obsession continues and you really want to blow Little Man's socks off - summer vacation time!

Beccy said...

Well I think that an Ernie obsession is better than the teletubbies one I lived through, they don't even speak English for God's sake!

Catwoman said...

Oh Julie, what have you done... I've now spent the whole morning on the Sesame Street Park web site looking at packages and dates. I've now told Sweetie Pie that we're cancelling our 5th-anniversary cruise idea and will instead be meeting up with my parents in Philadelphia, spending the weekend at Sesame Street Park, turning over an over-stimulated toddler to my parents for three days and running off to NYC just the two of us.

Little Man can have freaking dinner with Big Bird and his friends, including UH-NEE!!!!!!!

You've created a monster, congratulations...

Oh and Beccy, I completely agree that Ernie is better than the teletubbies. There will not be any teletubbies in my house. I am quite frightened of them.

jempress said...

that's hilarious! especially since i picked out the book because of ELMO after seeing your gay-pride parade version

Emma in Canada said...

I'm rather fond of Ernie myself. But couldn't your son fall in love with a girl muppet? Zoe? She's orange. Rosita? Speaks Spanish, always a plus. And I heard there's a new girl on the street. We dobn't watch it anymore, Saoirse's moved on to princesses but I'm sure Sophie will discover it soon.

susan said...

"Uh-nee!"
I was at Party City while in college when I came across a cake topper that I had to buy - Ernie in a tub full of bubbles with Bert standing beside the tub.
http://www.beaches.com/general/sesame.cfm
Don't google ernie in the toy section of amazon.com! I can't believe how many Ernie items there are.

Catwoman said...

The Beaches Resort has themed birthday parties. I'm totally doing a b-day party there, so everyone, book your tickets, haha!

susan said...

Holy crap! We should do a joint Katie/Little man bday at Beaches this year!!!!! Maybe we can Random Mommy's Buddha in on the action. Do we know any other babies w/bdays around the same time. It could be a crazy baby birthday extravaganza. lol.
Seriously though - I would go. ;)
BTW - there's a maternity/baby sale at Old Navy.