Monday, January 22, 2007

A Step Closer to Having My Baby Taken Away

I'm one of those mothers. The ones who are obsessed with her child knowing stuff and who's always concerned about him lagging behind. This isn't just because I tend to be quite competitive. It's also because most of our time spent together, Little Man and I, consists of sticking our tongues out at each other and laughing our asses off when the other one ends up drooling on themselves.

And a week ago, at Little Gym, it was "know your body day." Names like these always crack me up, since I have a dirty mind. Anyway, during the name game, where we tell our names' and our child's name, in a feeble attempt by the Little Gym to make sure that we try to use this time to socialize with others (which I do, but only with the unaccompanied cute dads for the most part), we were supposed to say the names and then say "we're going to point at our (enter body part that can't be used for sex here)." And then it happened. One mother said "we're going to point at our tummy," then she said to her daughter "where's your tummy?" And wouldn't you freaking know it, that kid pointed at her tummy.

Are all toddlers supposed to know these things?

So I've made it my mission to drill the names of body parts into Little Man's brain since that point. I'm like a sergeant of body parts, barking orders like "where's you ear?" at any time of day or night and you better point to the right one, or else, I may withhold blueberries from you.

We've officially got three parts down now. Nose (which Little Man points to by usually sticking a finger up his nostril), ear and mouth. The OCD crazy woman in me is relieved and figures we can go back to worrying about whether McSteamy will ever appear in nothing but a towel again.

And then this morning, Little Man was playing with two bouncy balls. I turned around to get his daycare bag readya and when I turned back, the balls were gone. And of course, before I could even stop myself, I asked him "where are your balls?"

He looked at me, confused for a second, and pointed at his mouth with one hand and his nose with the other, hoping that he'd be in the general vicinity.

Two thoughts went through my head when I was done laughing. First, I really hope Big Brother isn't monitoring my house, or else I have no chance of keeping this kid until he's 18. And second of all, Little Man better have a better idea of where his balls are before he starts dating. I'm just saying.




Beccy said...

Cute dads eh? there aren't many of those around here.

I'm sure Little Man will learn where his balls are soon enough.

Your post inspired me to ask Ben where his balls were, conversation went something like this:
Ben 'what balls
Me 'your balls
B 'what balls
M 'any balls you have'
B 'I don't have any balls only marbles'.
I smile at the innocence of my youngest.
B' apart from the balls on my body' points to the balls on his body.

Catwoman said...

Beccy, that's hilarious! I'll be sure to ask Little Man on a regular basis, just to make sure he keeps up with your Ben! :)

Emma in Canada said...

I wonder what would happen if you asked where his nuts were, which seems to be the slang of choice amongst the 10 year old boys I know. I so hate that word.

At gym you could always say he only knows the parts of his body in French and then say anything and they would never know if he got the right part or not. I'm assuming French is not big in Texas. Note of course that I can only think of head in French, all other body parts have long left my memory.

Julie said...

Too funny! Just watch out when you teach him where his eyes are. When my oldest was little and learned eye she would walk up to you, poke you in the eye and say "eye". Doesn't feel good!

Catwoman said...

That's a fantastic idea Emma! Of course, before I started this brainwashing campaign, when I'd ask him where anything was (in French or English), he'd just shake his head at me.

And Julie, thanks for the tip... I think I'll just skip the eyes. I'd be worried about him poking his eye out!

susan said...

Katie also sticks her fingers up her nose when I ask her where it is. AND she pokes herself in the eyes when I ask her about those. Poor thing. I should stop asking her, huh?
Today she started smacking the crud out her lady bits after her bath. I did not ask her where they were.
BTW, read my blog and tell me what kind of rash Katie has! (I need to take a pic)