Wednesday, January 31, 2007

I've Been Tagged!

So, I've been tagged! By Beccy. This makes me feel special and gooey, so now I'm in love with Beccy.

Here's the deal... I'm supposed to link back to three previous posts that describe my personalit well. Considering I'm now at 359 posts, this is like asking me to choose three of my DNA traits.

There's also the issue that I don't think any of my posts are that funny. In my head, they're witty and hysterical. And then what my fingers type is actually whiny, not-clever, and usually quite vulgar.

How this happens, I'm not sure.

So really, there are a few things that are important in my life. Like Beccy, I've found that reading my old posts means that I've noticed that my writing has evolved quite a bit during the past three years. Tell me if you think otherwise...

The first important thing in my life is Sweetie Pie. I think how Sweetie Pie and I got married really shows a lot about me, considering that I'm a complete commitment phobe who thought I would never get married. This, fellows is how you capture a wild stallion like myself.

You don't believe I'm a wild stallion? I admit, I have been neutered, but here's a
glance at my old life. That would also be a glance at my paranoia and how I'm always convinced people are mad at me, since the next day, I blogged about confronting Sweetie Pie and finding out he'd slept on the couch all night because he was sick as a dog.

Also, I think I've mentioned a couple of times that I was fired from my last real job a couple of years ago for having a crappy ass personality. Here's where I explain what went down.

But this post, would probably explain my personality best. It's my confessions post and a lot of these things were stories that I'd never told a soul before. That only I knew about. This is probably the best window to my soul to offer to perfect strangers and a few friends... Is it funny? Doubtful. Sexy? Well, I do mention boobs in it, so maybe.

Here's one that I do think is funny. But that's because I have the sense of humor of a six-year old boy, and farts always crack me up. In case you love posts about farts, here's another one.

So now, you want sexy? Oh I'll give you sexy baby... How about this one?

And then I can be whimsical ever so often...See?

I know that's way more than three posts. But when have I ever been short-winded? I wanted to finish off with one final post, the one where I talked about the time I pooped a perfect penis with testicles attached and told Sweetie Pie he needed to come see it, since it really was a poop work of art, but I can't seem to find it. But be assured, it was a fantastically nasty story.




jempress said...

love your blog! it makes me laugh and cry and think. mostly laugh though - especially the candy bra post. oh my...classic.

Emma in Canada said...

I laughed a lot at the candy bra post too. I think you are probably the funniest blog I read. I remember that poop post, another classic. Did you not do a search for penis shaped poop?

I'm totally the opposite of you...I used to have a list of people I had slept with (much like the slutty one in Reality Bites, how pathetic!) and I eventually threw it away and now I am sure I can't remember most of their names, and nor do I want to try!

Beccy said...

Hey catwoman that was fantastic!

I have to say your writing is very funny and I'm glad you linked to more than three posts.

The farting post got to me, I think you would get on very well with my other half. Every time he farts he laughs as if it's the funniest thing ever, and he farts a lot. Ben thinks his Dad's farts are great and want's to be able to 'fart like dad when I'm bigger'. What really gets me is that he farts every evening when he walks into the bedroom. Why can't he release that air, and more importantly that smell, before he comes in!

I was looking forward penis poop post, all these references, I'm dying to read it!

susan said...

Maybe you just thought you blogged about the penis poop 'cuz we had a conversation about it on random mommy's blog! lol.