Friday, December 15, 2006

Why I'll Never Ask My Husband to Stop Hunting

Sweetie Pie is gone this weekend. Some people might think "how horrible! She's got a baby, she's working full time and he goes and leaves her." But see, those people are also the ones who think that Britney Spears going out partying every night and showing her coochie is bad. Well, ok, that's bad.

But this isn't. Because I love it.

It's not that I don't love Sweetie Pie. Because he is the only person on this entire planet I could live with day in, day out for the rest of my life. Sure, he irritates me when I have PMS and have thought of stabbing him multiple times with a ball point pen because he won't feed me endless rivers of chocolate. But that's only a few days once a month.

When Sweetie Pie leaves, it means that it's just Little Man and I. And when he was littler, that was a bad thing. Back then, when it was only Little Man and I, it meant that I had to handle every night feeding and do all the quick diaper changes in dark rooms with exhausted eyes that won't stay open. It meant breaking down at five in the morning thinking I can't do this alone and wondering how single moms do it every single day.

But now that he's a toddler, I look forward to these weekends of just him and I. Our time, Little Man and Mommy time. I feel like it's a time where all rules are out. Where we can go to McDonald's and stay in our pj's and stay up too late and make funny faces at each other and chase each other around the house with hundreds of non-picked up items laying dangerously in our paths.

Now that I work, I especially appreciate these weekends as a single mom, because it feels like the "old days," when I stayed with him and it was just the two of us, and things were good. But, you see, I took that time for granted. And there were days I'd yell at myself to live in the moment, to breathe all of my baby's energy in and suck the moment in and laminate the memories in my heart, but somehow it's our human nature to whirlwind our way through these things.

But the world has granted me these two day weekends about once a month, and now, I appreciate a lazy morning on the couch, giggling at Blue's Clues and eating organic macaroni and cheese making "mmmmm" sounds with every bite, because really, is there a better food on Earth?

And then there are the evenings. Once the Little Man is in bed, I get to lay on the couch with all of the pets and watch whatever I want. Chick flicks. Sappy movies. News shows about mysterious murders. Whatever. I. Want. No The Unit. No World Series of Poker. There's no channel changing the second a commercial comes on.

And just when the world couldn't grant me any more happiness, I go to bed. And although the bed should be empty, it's not. Because Satan's Dog, knowing that I'm in need of some sweet, sweet snuggling, lays his body against mine in the perfect spooning position so that my arms are around his warm body and my head is nestled against his soft ears, and all night I get to feel the kind of unrequited love that can only come from an animal.

On Sundays, Sweetie Pie comes back, and I'm happy to see him, of course, because he's always missed.

But to claim that I hate that he left in the first place would be a lie, because he loves hunting and I love what I get in return of letting him go.



1 comment:

random_mommy said...

I'm the same way when Husband goes out of town for work!! I get sooo excited to watch Lifetime movies and eat take-out and junk food for dinner!