Monday, December 18, 2006

My Humps

Let me start out by saying that there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I know there's a fine line there, even though, from where I sit, I can barely see the towns of confidence and arrogance, let alone that fine line between them.

But I can say this. I am over Fergie. Not the Weight Watchers, Princess of York, formerly lover of having her toes sucked Fergie. I'm talking about the Black Eyed Peas and now solo artist singer.

When her song "London Bridge" came out, I loved it. Little Man and I would bop to it in the car all the time, and 14-year olds who'd see me would right away destroy their iPods, figuring that they had to destroy the uncoolness as quickly as possible.

But even though I still loved the song, it was bittersweet, because I still wasn't over the "My Humps" incident. Really? A whole song about the different things that stick out on your body? The boys are spending all their money on you? Because of your humps?

I realize I'm going to sound very old and uncool here, but is this really what we want our daughters hearing as a message? That they should have boobs and butts and make boys spend money on them?

And now, NOW! Fergie puts out a new song. And this is where I have to pause to wipe the vomit from the corners of my mouth. The damn song is called "Fergielicious." Seriously? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

You turn your nickname into an adjective by merging it with delicious? Who the hell thinks that of themselves? Does Fergie sit on her Louis Vuitton comforter thinking up this crap? Does she wake up in the morning and go "I rock! I'm awesome! I'm cool... OH! MY! GOD! I should totally write a song about that!"

Fergie, I'm warning you now. You write one more song about how great you are, and I will drive my cheerio and goldfish covered Jeep Liberty to LA and beat you to a freaking pulp with my car seat. I'm serious.

Love,

Catwoman.

3 comments:

random_mommy said...

they spell tasty wrong in that song... it's not t-a-s-t-e-y. bastards.

susan said...

I like the song cuz of it's old school beats. I ignore the fact it is supposed to be about how delicious fergie is. Yeah right - a former meth addict who has had waaaay too much plastic surgery and once peed herself onstage in front of thousands of people - she's t-a-s-te-y. ha.

Catwoman said...

A meth addict who can't spell "tasty."

That's my kind of woman.