Thursday, December 07, 2006

It's What They Call a Nervous Breakdown

Tuesday was a really, really bad day. It wasn't supposed to be, since it was, after all, a day off for me. Little Man had a pediatrician appointment in the morning and since I have vacation time to use up before the end of the year, I just took the whole day off.

I figured it'd be great, me and the little man together again.

But I've learned sometimes you just can't relive the past.

We headed for the long trek to the pediatrician office and made it there two minutes late. Since I didn't have my new insurance card yet, I told the receptionist they just needed to call my insurance carrier for proof of insurance. She said that they need all the info from me. Before I have a chance to argue with her, I get called in by the nurse and go back with the munchkin.

We proceed to spend an hour and a half being looked over. Why? I don't know... This nurse was very thorough and new to the practice so we were just there forever. Come to find out that the reason Little Man's eyes were welded shut with gunk when he woke up that morning was because he's got a double ear infection that has spread to his sinuses. Joy!

So I leave with two prescriptions. I've called the insurance company, written all the information down for the doctor's office, gave it to them and drove away. Little Man's pissed at this point, because dang it, it's nap time!

I drop off the prescriptions, give the pharmacy the little piece of paper with all of my information written down on the paper after calling the insurance company again, since I gave my only copy of the paper with the info to the doctor's office, and tell them that I'll be by after Little Man's nap to pick up the drugs.

Almost four hours later, I get an automated message from the pharmacy saying that my prescription has been delayed. EXCUSE ME??? I have a sick baby, your only job is to fill a bottle with some liquid and you can't do that in four hours?

Because Little Man is being an absolute nightmare, I throw him (gently of course, I'm not Britney Spears. I was also wearing underwear at the time) in the car and we head to Super Target.

On the way back from Super Target, I decide to go pick up the prescription, since at this point, it's been more than five hours since I dropped it off. The drugs are ready, but then the girl tells me that their system went down and she can't run my stuff through the insurance system, so I'm just going to have to $220 for the medicine. EXCUSE ME???

Not my fucking problem, I tell her. I then proceed to do something I rarely do, since I spent years in customer service and know what it feels like to make no money and be yelled at by somebody you don't give a shit about. I tell her how I have a sick baby and that they take close to six hours to get the medicine ready for him. That they have lost my business. That I want my prescription back NOW and they will never get another dime of my money.

She apologizes and gives me the prescription back. I ask her where the paper where I wrote down all my information is. She says she doesn't know. Seeing the look on my face that says I may tear her jugular out with my pinky at any second, she tells me she will look for it. She disappears for two minutes, comes back and tells me that she thinks it's been "discarded."

"DISCARDED?????" I yell. "That has my fucking private information on it, including my social security number. I want it back NOW!"

She disappears again and then comes back to say that really, they don't have it anymore, but that if it was discarded, it was done properly and that I don't need to worry about a bunch of people who are highly underpaid and hate their job stealing my identity.

At this point, I'm ready to rip the building off and toss it halfway to Austin I'm so pissed.

I leave, go across the street to our grocery store which also has a pharmacy and explain the situation to them.

I beg them to fill this quickly. They are sweet to me. Take pity on me and my cranky child. They tell me that they only usually take 15 minutes to fill prescription, but in my case, they'll do it in 30 seconds flat. And they do. At least they do with one of them.

Because they other, they don't carry. "No one every prescribes this," they explain.

And then, being the most wonderful people on Earth, who I'll never be able to thank enough except to bring them all of my prescriptions and make it clear in my will that no direct blood relative of mine shall ever go anywhere else, they offer to call another pharmacy for me and get them to fill the prescription promptly.

They call one place, no luck. So they offer to call a second. And a third. And a fourth. And a fifth. Because apparently, Little Man was prescribed the Hope Diamond by his pediatrician, or maybe some rare grade of plutonium.

The kind sweet folks at Albertson's (they deserve to be mentioned by name, since they are truly the greatest people on Earth) proceed to call a sixth pharmacy, this one way across town and locate these rare eye drops for me. "Please have it filled before she gets there," I hear the pharmacist say. "She has a baby."

I kiss the woman's feet and drive clear across the desert and the tundra to retrieve these eye drops. And when I get there, I wait. And wait. And wait. Finally an old man, smelling of pipe tobacco and Old Spice comes to me and sadly tells me that he's so sorry, but their eye drops are expired. "No one ever prescribes this," he says.

But he reassures me that he has called the chain pharmacy across the street and that they definitely have the drops. And theirs are not expired.

At this point, the Little Man is screaming his discontent at being strapped so long in his car seat. But I proceed. And drop f-bombs a long the way, some of them directed at my benevolent dictator. Since maybe if he'd keep his freaking ears clean, I wouldn't have to spend half my day off on the hunt for the Holy Grail of medicines.

When I get to the other pharmacy, they tell me they need 15 minutes to stick a label on the eye drop box with my son's name on it. And so I wait.

I drive home and it is now dinner time. I've left the house two hours ago. I am cranky, unhappy, neither emotion nearing the Little Man's levels of crankiness and unhappiness.

I get home and unload the baby, his medicine and all of my Super Target purchases. I walk into the house and decide to give him his first dose of ear infection antibiotics, hoping that will lift his spirits instantly. And then it happens.

The bag falls down. Hits the tile. And the heartbreaking sound of glass shatters my ear drum. And that's when I lose it. I start crying. I start saying the f-word more times than a Sopranos episode. I start slamming doors and throwing a hissy fit as I shove the bag that's now leaking antibiotic into a plastic bag and leave the house. I get myself together, walk into the Albertson's again, walk up to the counter, and one of the kids who'd helped me before says "How may I help you."

And that's when I start sobbing. I tell him that I just drove two hours to try to get the other prescription filled. And I'm so tired. And the bottle broke. And it says no refills on the prescription. And the doctor's office is closed now. And the baby's ears hurt.

He puts out his hand, takes the bag and tells me it'll just be a minute. He comes back with an unbroken bottle, filled with glass-free antibiotics. Gives it to me and when I had him my credit card he says "don't worry about it."

And they say the Christmas spirit is dead.

Wednesday, I went back to work, despite having food poisoning that our frozen pizza, eaten on Tuesday night, gave me, to punish me for being Hitler in a previous life (it's the only explanation I can think of). But there was no way I wasn't coming in. I needed a vacation from my day off.




random_mommy said...

I don't even know what to say. Holy crap.

Albertson's is the BEST pharmacy there! I love them!

Little Man, feel better!!!

jempress said...

ooooh, catwoman, i cannot believe that 1st pharmacy. WHAT were they thinking? Obviously, they weren't. You have to tell us who they are so we can boycott them.

we've all had those days - and it just solidifies the mommy bond we have. we'll be there during your next day off - argh, stupid colds and viruses and infections.

Catwoman said...

It was Walgreen's. Boo to that location. Ironically, I ended up getting the Holy Grail of eye drops from a Walgreen's way across town. But I didn't feel like a sell out, since it was another location. But I won't ever, ever go back to the one that nearest my house, even if my body is on fire and they have the only pail of water in town.

I hope Wedo's feeling better too! There's some nasty stuff going around, let me tell you!

susan said...

*big hug*
worst day ever. :(
i hope everyone is feeling better.