Wednesday, November 01, 2006

It Was a Small Dream, I Admit...

When I was little, I used to always love the houses that were the "good houses" on Halloween. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that used to give the full-size candy bars, or a big handful of candy. Not the houses where the old lady would give you an apple or the guy who was a dentist and would give you a freaking toothbrush. I mean who does that? Did someone kick the shit out of you as a kid and now you hate all kids? It's Halloween, asshole. Pony up for candy.

When I was little, I swore to myself that someday, I would be that good house. And for the last few years, I strived to make that goal come true.

It didn't matter how broke I was, I'd always buy a huge bag of candy and some little candy bars and then I'd give the kids one candy bar and a huge handful of candy.

But the children were unimpressed. Apparently they'd seen better.

So this year, I went all out. I bought goodie bags people. Sure they were only 20 for a dollar, but the point is that I wasn't just some person handing out candy. I was the person handing out mother freaking goody bags.

When I was assembling the goodie bags, Sweetie Pie was horrified. "That's too much candy!" he said, the kid in him obviously dead.

He then went on about me trying to bankrupt our family but I'm pretty sure my persistent eye rolling shut him up.

And last night, I had my moment of glory. I had all my goodie bas laid out like little soldiers on a silver tray. And when the doorbell would ring, I'd open it with a smile holding my tray like Bree on Desperate Housewives would.

The kids were impressed. "Goodie bags???" they exclaimed.

"Yes," I said. "Goodie Bags, because we're the good house. You tell all your friends now."

I think this may have been the happiest moment of my life.

I've accomplished my dreams. I can now say that I can die happy.

Love,

Catwoman.

3 comments:

susan said...

I had Mike disconnect the doorbell for Halloween. :)

Anonymous said...

The silver tray really tipped the scales... you OWN Halloween now. Go Bree!!!

Emma in Canada said...

I did the goodie bag route as well. You know that next year you will have to do them for all the kids in day care too. And then once school starts for all his classmates. Tell your husband this year was nothing.