Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I'm Thinking She Probably Doesn't Have Children

On Saturday, we took Little Man to the doctor's to hear the wonderful news that he caught pneumonia from those horrible cootie-infested kids he hangs out with in daycare. We were given a prescription and I rushed to the pharmacy to drop it off, knowing that each minute I wasted getting there, would be an additional minute spent with a sick, mucusy child.

When I picked it up, the cashier asked me if I needed to speak to the pharmacist about this prescription. Confused, since I'd never been asked this before in all of my years of picking up birth control pills and a few antibiotics, I responded "I don't know, do I?"

The cashier proceeded to go get the pharmacist, who came to the window and looked at me, looking rather annoyed at being disturbed from popping vicodins she steals from old people's vials.

She asked me what I needed. Which is an interesting question, considering I didn't know if I actually needed anyone. I smiled my most charming smile and explained the conversation between me and the cashier and my rather clever response of "I don't know, do I?"

She sighed, rather exasperated, the way I sigh at Satan's Dog when he snatches my underwear out of the hamper for the 19th time of the day. She proceeded to explain that I needed to give him Little Man this much medication twice a day.

"Uhm, ok," I meekly answered.

"But be sure to give him food first, so it doesn't upset his stomach."

"What if he's not eating anything, because he's sick and all."

Another exasperated sigh. "Then make him."

Ooooooh! Make him! Duh, why didn't I think of that??? Because it's so easy pharmacist lady to hold down a 14-month old toddler who's on a hunger strike from his pneumonia and force a big juicy steak down his throat.

I went home, gave Little Man a bag of chips, let him go at it and then gave him his medication. There bitch, I made him eat. You happy now?

Love,

Catwoman.

2 comments:

Kila said...

LOL, the journey of motherhood. Been There Done That. New moms sure get dealt a lot of crap.

You're now an experienced prescription-buying mom, congratulations. I still always say, "Yes" to their little question. Let them explain away. Sometimes I learn something new. Usually I ask them a question that stumps them, which is fun too.

Catwoman said...

OOOOH! Stumping the pharmacist! I never thought of that! That freaking rocks! I can't wait until Little Man gets pneumonia again so that I may put your evil plan into place.

On second thought, I can wait.