Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Maybe She Was Just Running Low on Midol

Sweetie Pie, despite being a very good mate for me, has one major flaw: road rage issues. I'm talking about arm waving when someone decides to get in his lane, even if it's 100 yards in front of him, riding someone's bumper when they cut him off, you get the general idea.

This has always pissed me off, and been the source of many fights. When we used to be date, I would say to him that he could drive like an idiot when he was by himself, but that he didn't have the right to put my life at risk should he piss off someone with a gun whose wife just left him.

Once we got married, I would get even more mad and tell him that he didn't have the right to risk the life of the mother of his future children.

And now that we have Playa', I literally have ripped the hair off his head through his nose and tell him that if a single fleck of dead skin falls off my baby's body because of his crazy driving, he will not live to see another hunting season.

On Sunday, because it was pouring rain and there wasn't anything to do, we went driving and shopping for things we didn't need. Our final stop was at Home Depot, so that I could daydream about paint colors and hardwood floors for our living room.

Playa' began to get cranky because the time was nearing his dinnertime's, so we decided to head home. We're driving through fairly heavy rain on a two-lane road by our community, when a car from a sidestreet ahead of us pulls out and begins to drive in front of us.

Sweetie Pie is forced to slow down and gets pissed off about it. He begins to get a little too close to her bumper and I begin to tell him to stop. Before he has a chance to get too close, the other car, a Mercedes, comes to a stop.

Sweetie Pie proceeds to drive around her, in the opposite traffic lane, which makes me jump out of my skin and beat him senseless with it. As he's passing the Mercedes, the driver starts again, so that Sweetie Pie can't get in front of her.

We're now playing chicken with any potential oncoming traffic with nowhere to go.

Somehow Sweetie Pie manages to pass her and we continue on our way. I am livid at this point, where I can no longer even find words to speak. Sweetie Pie continues to drive, eventually arriving at the turn lane for our street. And that's when he sees the Mercedes is still following us.

He does a U-turn. So does she.

He turns into the wrong neighborhood. So does she.

He drives around that neighborhood in circles for 10 minutes. So does she.

At this point, I am literally ready to crap my pants. I'm a wimp to start with, but having somebody obviously stalking you and who has a more powerful car than you, when it's pouring rain is enough to make me want to pee my pants.

I'm too terrified to get the woman's license plate number, but from what I can see, she's some white woman, on her cell phone with God knows who, in her late late 30's or early 40's.

Why this woman is stalking what is obviously a man driving, I'll never know. At the end of the day, if Sweetie Pie had stopped the car and walked over to her car, he could have probably beaten the crap out of her. But she was stalking my family, trying to see where we lived.

Sweetie Pie continued to drive around neighborhoods, figuring eventually she'd get tired of following us.

The next 20 minutes were the tensest of my life, made even worse by the fact that my now starving baby was crying in the back seat.

I couldn't speak to Sweetie Pie for almost an hour after we got home. I was so mad at him for even getting us into that situation. I felt that if I'd been driving, this never would have happened. And I'm still somewhat convinced of that. I wouldn't have gotten on her bumper. I wouldn't have tried to pass her when she came to a stop. I don't think I would have caused the situation to escalate the way he did.

But at the same time, why is some woman in a Mercedes on some mission to terrorize families two neighborhoods away from hers?

She was driving a $40,000 or $50,000 car and was pulling out of a neighborhood where houses start at $350,000 (which in North Texas is a lot of money). Does she enjoy terrorizing people who aren't wealthy as she is?

I'm now terrified to go out in my Jeep, worried that this psycho wrote down my license plate number and tries to drive me off the road into some creek, when it's just Baby Boy and me trying to get to a playdate or the grocery store.

But next time, I'll be prepared. Should she try anything, I'm calling the cops. I will kill that psycho bitch before she lets my baby go hungry again.




susan said...

When I piss people off, I always check my rearview to see if they are following me - they never are. RD needs a good ass kicking by a pissed off elitist bitch for doing that to you and the baby boy!! oops. the playa. ;) Though, the lady probably would have peed her pants if he had pulled over to give her the what's what.

random_mommy said...

what an evil bitch! put her on the list with my old man-eagle scout... we'll teach them one day!!! don't piss the mommies off!